So report the Brits.

Here's a look at where our livability is headed with the whole I-5 toll bridge thing. Once again, New York shows how it's done.

You know how sometimes you want to make examples out of people?

Here are a couple:

Portland Water Bureau discovered two people skinny dipping in Mt. Tabor Reservoir 6 early Saturday morning. Water Bureau security personnel spotted the swimmers, who were skinny dipping, and notified the Portland Police Bureau, who apprehended and removed the individuals from the reservoir at approximately 3:00 am and issued trespass citations.

Apprehended were Ryan Langsdorf, age 28 and Ashley Moyer, age 23.

Reservoir 6 is divided into two sections. The section that the swimmers were caught in is currently off-line. Had it been in use at the time, the Water Bureau would have been forced to shut off the reservoir and consider dumping millions of gallons of water, as was done earlier this spring when someone dumped a gallon of latex paint, a construction cone, and hundreds of flyers into the reservoir.

"Not only did this foolish act threaten the cleanliness of Portland's drinking water, it was just plain dangerous," said Water Bureau Administrator David Shaff. "These two individuals could have easily found themselves in a precarious situation where extremely cold water temperatures and a difficult rescue situation could have made drowning a real possibility."

The Water Bureau will work with authorities to pursue this case to the fullest extent of the law.

Here's a kindred soul trying to hold the government bean counters' feet to the fire in Illinois. Her latest press release notes:

The report, which was issued almost a year after the State's fiscal year end, indicated that each Illinois household share of the State's debt is more than $14,000, totaling $69.7 billion. This debt includes $42 billion owed the State employees' pension funds and $24 billion of health care benefits promised to retired State employees.

This is ironic in a place where the state is supposed to have a balanced budget every year. Sort of reminds us of the City of Portland's annual "surplus" charade.

Of course, the outrage in Illinois over $14,000 of debt per household is in stark contrast to the general silence in the City of Portland, where the debt for a household of four people is currently more than $35,000.

Our raccoon piece about a week back got a former Portlander, now in Texas, talking on his own blog about his own raccoon experiences in the Rose City. Now, in his followup comments to his blog post, he's written some thought-provoking words about Portlandia generally. You may disagree with the sentiments expressed, but you must admit the fellow does have a way with words:

A few months back, I realized that the sign of a truly great city is when outsiders and locals can point to serious flaws in the city's organization, layout, or government, agree that these are major flaws, and start suggesting ways to fix those flaws.... Portland, though, is the left-wing fundamentalist opposite of Biloxi, Mississippi: both cities don't take criticism well, any residents who frantically attempt to validate their decisions to live there by screaming "So what do you think?" get incredibly pissy or even violent if the response is anything but positive, and both figure that the best way to counteract negative publicity is to stick fingers in ears and hum really loudly.

Here we are nearly seven years after the destruction of the World Trade Center and damage to the Pentagon. We ran into Afghanistan to fight back, and we unseated the Taliban, but our goals of smashing Al Qaeda and bringing bin Laden to justice were never met. Then the White House decided it would be a good idea to hang Saddam Hussein, which we eventually did.

Hundreds of thousands of people have been killed since our arrival in Afghanistan. The U.S. economy has been trashed, as has its reputation throughout the world as a peaceful and law-abiding nation. At so great a cost, what have we gained?

Al Qaeda is as strong as ever, particularly in Pakistan. The Taliban continues to cause major trouble in both Afghanistan and Pakistan. Whatever victories and alliances we can claim in this part of the world are shaky indeed. And of course, bin Laden is still around somewhere.

Amid all this chaos, one might think that it would be to the United States' advantage to make sure that the resurgence of al Qaeda and the Taliban are contained, even if that means scaling back the impossible mission that the Bush administration insists it has in Iraq.

But no. Quite the opposite.

Iraq is not the end of our frontier. Next it's on to Iran. The delusional Cheney and the Chimp are now reportedly blowing nine figures on a round of covert operations in Iran, trying to destabilize that country and no doubt laying a foundation for a possible overt strike, by U.S. troops, Israelis, missiles from either country's arsenal, or all of the above.

Given the meanness and incompetence with which this fake-cowboy administration has run our nation over the past seven years, it seems almost a certainty that it will try something outrageous before leaving office. No doubt the moves will be timed to influence the election, and the WMD card will be played often, hard, and loudly. Fear is the Republicans' best friend, but Americans are so numb to bad news from this White House that it's going to take a big bang to get them quaking in their boots again. Airport security theater is passé, and in a few months no one will be able to afford to fly, anyway. The GOP needs some serious death and destruction on the TV screens over the next four months to get the voters on edge.

The Iranians are more than ready to supply the battlefield. Quoting our own great diplomat, they're saying, "Bring it on." They've got a couple of nuclear reactors that might as well have bull's-eyes painted on them. My bet is that those will be big piles of rubble by Election Day. But this isn't Qadaffi we're messing with. There will be payback.

"We made this mess, we can't just leave." How many times do we hear that said about Iraq these days? Even some liberals feel that way. Sensing this, the Bush people are going to get us in as deep as they can before they check out of Washington. If it helps McCain in November, they figure, great. But even if it doesn't, they're going for it. All they've got left to offer is fear and death. Come to think of it, aside from greed, that's about all they've ever had.

Here's a baseball video worth checking out.

All you swing-state voters: Check out this guy.

A reader who's been following our car-free tales sends along the following:

You have been writing about taking the bus around town. I used the bus and MAX to commute to work for over 33 years.

When Tri-Met began issuing bus passes in February, 1975, I started collecting mine. Attached is a sample of the first ones that Tri-Met issued (I'm missing March and May, 1975 and May, 1976) and some from 1980-81. I think I have all the others through July, 2002.

In 1975, the bus pass cost $13.00. Now, it looks like the All-Zone pass will cost $86.00 starting in September, 2008.

Here's a bicoastal co-inky-dink.

There's a new Miss Oregon, she knows how to belly dance, and to our knowledge she hasn't been Miss Anything down in California lately. Her name is Danijela Krstic, she is 24, and her official title before the statewide "scholarship pageant" was Miss Tri Valley.

I have no idea where that is. Tigard, maybe? The first story on the contest results says she lives in Portland.

She was Miss Klamath County in 2006. She also ran unsuccessfully for Miss Portland 2008, which raises the question, How many pageants can you enter in a given year?

But you know, after last year's experience, I think I'll let somebody else raise any questions this year. Congratulations to Ms. Krstic.

Here's a baseball game like you've never seen.

If it's metal, and in public sight, the druggies will take a run at stealing it. Here's an egregious example. Where are you going to fence those?

Here's an odd one: The Portland Water Bureau is busy sending out notices about a bottled water recall at supermarkets in the Northeast. Not in Northeast Portland, mind you -- in the northeast of the country -- at Shop-Rite markets. As in New Jersey.

There isn't a Shop-Rite within 2000 miles of here, is there? No matter. City Hall will stop at nothing to poison your mind against bottled water. Fireman Randy knows best!

My nephew is one of 198 players still alive in a $2,000 no-limit hold 'em tourney at the World Series of Poker. Everybody left in the pack will win some sort of money. Our guy will have 32,100 in chips in front of him when cards fly again today at 2. Go get 'em, Gary!

Meanwhile, I won $35 or so in a small game last night. Which at my level is a big deal. Go, me!

UPDATE, 4:12 p.m.: With 139 players left, he's still in there.

UPDATE, 4:27 p.m.: He won $5,060 -- going out 124th of 2317 entrants -- in the 95th percentile. Congratulations to him.

One of the joys of being an academic in the summer is a great deal of freedom in one's daily schedule. This flexibility makes it possible for us to leave our car parked and get around using other means, if that's what we feel like doing. After last Sunday's car-free day up at Peninsula Park, we've been in the mood to travel around town on a bicycle and on Tri-Met this week. It's worked out pretty well.

Our motivations are threefold. First, we're cheap, and for the moment at least, the bus is a little less expensive for us than the car. Second, it's been a long spring of sitting, and we need to get back in shape any way we can; biking and walking aren't as good for that as running, but they definitely help. Third, it's been a while since the weather invited us out onto the sidewalks, but lately it's been calling to us loud and clear.

Now, we're fortunate enough to live near two bus lines that connect us to the world -- no. 9 and no. 33. Both are part of the spokes in the system that run downtown to the transit mall. But lately we've been showing up on some other lines as well. The other day, we were heading over to Higgins for lunch, and when we consulted trimet.org for advice on when to be at the bus stop, surprisingly it told us to switch to the no. 6 at Broadway and MLK. We did so, our connection worked, and we were dropped off virtually at the door of our lunch destination. This saved us about a six-block walk up to Broadway from the transit mall on Third, which wouldn't have been bad, but it was interesting to us how close the system could get us to the end point of our trip.

We tested the system's mettle again last evening, when we called upon it to get us to a friend's house in Northwest Portland for dinner. Again, trimet.org pointed us to an option we had never before considered -- the no. 77. This route is suddenly our favorite of them all. It runs down NE Broadway toward the river, makes a loop through the Rose Quarter transit center, crosses the Broadway Bridge, and then, miraculously, does not head downtown. It zigs around by Union Station, and makes its way through the Pearl and Northwest along a side street (I think it's Northrup). At 23rd, it makes a right and heads north. We jumped off at 23rd and Overton -- two and a half blocks from our buddy's place. Glorious early evening ride, and our walk westward into the sun in a brisk summer breeze was dreamy.

We really prided ourself as an urban guerilla when, during our five-minute wait between the 9 and the 77, we ducked into Great Wine Buys on Broadway and bought a bottle of high-class wine to bring to the soiree.

Coming back home late at night would have been a different kind of adventure -- we were prepared to walk all the way back if the bus schedule or the character of our fellow passengers didn't suit us -- but we caught a ride in a car from another guest. Which was also cool.

Meanwhile, we made a nice discovery on the bicycle yesterday. We were going down to Ladd's Addition, and we were determined to do it on the bike. To go by bus would have forced us downtown, which would have been a waste of time. So the bike it would be.

Planning a southbound jaunt like that requires us to decide where we're going to cross the Banfield Freeway. The usual options for us are 21st and 28th. For Ladd's, 21st is the ticket. But then what? 20th Avenue is the busy street down into southeast, and we've never been comfortable on that stretch (although many bikers do use it).

We dug around a little and pulled out the handy-dandy bike map that the city had mailed us a few years ago. Therein we found the solution. Once over the Banfield, go west on Irving, then south on 16th all the way to the heart of Ladd's. Sure enough, both streets were fairly welcoming to cyclists, and they provided a nice route to our errand of the afternoon. (16th and Irving has an on-ramp to the Banfield, however -- worth knowing in advance.) The roses in Ladd's, of course, are a tonic to see, and the whole vibe in there was a happy one under the impossibly blue sky.

Riding a bike is not a stress-free way to get around Portland. You spend most of your time watching out for hazards of all sorts. You're vulnerable up there. But you're getting there under your own power. It's free -- not even a bus ticket. And depending on where you're going, you can get there safely and fairly quickly on two wheels.

Next week we've got some moves to make that will definitely require that we start up the car. But for any that can be done by other means, we're up for the other means.

From the gal who styles my hair: "I don't like jazz music. It makes me feel like something's wrong."

And that's his program for Portland. To him the most important feature of the new I-5 bridge is that it look cool. And "a Glenn Jackson Bridge" just isn't cool enough, apparently. Anyway, the latest unintentional joke is here.

I see one of the Gerding Edlen boys was playing the big shot last night at some Pearlie brie-fest:

He said development companies should "never get complacent" when it comes to sustainable development and should "not be afraid of making mistakes."

Unless all the weather people are mistaken, it's time to pull the hot weather clichés out of mothballs and dust them off for a busy weekend. You can always get things rolling today with "Hot enough for ya?" By Sunday, "You can fry an egg on the sidewalk." In the meantime, there's always stuff like "It's so hot, I just saw a squirrel rubbing sunscreen on his nuts." For a change of pace, try "But at least it's a dry heat." Or "Last week we were complaining that we were cold." Then some radio station plays that wonderful, horrible song by the Lovin' Spoonful.

Maybe we just ought to assign numbers to these, and to save time and energy, we can just say the numbers to each other instead of the whole clichés. "Hot enough for ya?" can be no. 1, "You can fry an egg on the sidewalk" can be no. 2, etc. Here's a demonstration of the efficiencies that can be achieved with this new system:

Old system:

She: Geez, It's so hot out there, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
He: I know, but at least it's a dry heat.

New system:

She: Two!
He: Four.

See? It works.

Now that that's settled, it's way past time to invent some new catchphrases. I've been working on these, but I'm not getting very far yet:

"It's so hot, I'm going to queue up for a sponge bath in a Benson bubbler."

"It's so hot, I just saw a cop dip his Taser in a slushie at the Plaid Pantry."

"It's hotter than Emilie Boyles's armpit in a sauna."

"Hotter than a credit card in a Whole Foods scanner."

"Hotter than the golden showers coming off the SmartPark garage."

"Hotter than an investment with Craig Berkman."

Close, but not quite. Come on, readers, help us out.

Cosmic Charlie's got what you need:

Served in a tall, cold can, this one makes you sit up and take notice. At 10.5% alcohol content, it bitch-slaps your brain. It tastes good, but don’t drink it to kill a hangover. It will perpetuate the activities of the night before, and you’ll be crashing into the bathtub on your first trip to the bathroom.

That other one was fake. This one is real.

Remember last week, when I proudly noted that My Nephew the Poker Player had picked up four grand at the World Series of Poker? Well, that night, he went back to his room and logged onto an online tournament, which he won for another $37,500.

And here I am blogging.

The recent developments in the saga of the State of Oregon's dubious claim of copyright over its own statutes are now covered fairly thoroughly here.

They didn't even have any fireworks on board!

This guy is a Republican?

In our inbox we find this:

Joel Haugen, Republican opponent of David Wu in Oregon's 1st District congressional district, is scheduled to participate in Hillsboro's July 4th Parade, which is scheduled for July 4, 2008 at 10 AM and organized by the Hillsboro Rotary Club. Joel will make his way along the parade route on-board "The Haugenator," a self-made contraption that grew out of his commitment to clean energy, and to eliminating our dependence on fossil fuels by the year 2019.

Construction of The Haugenator began with an electric bicycle that Haugen found at a local yard sale. The unit has room for three total passengers, as it also consists of two additional pedal-powered bikes connected to the electric bike in a triangular formation. A tall column at the center carries a 1 foot-square photo-voltaic cell, which provides 12 volts to recharge the electric bike's battery. Haugen has designed and assembled The Haugenator himself with the help of friends, campaign staff, and volunteers.

Joel Haugen believes that the number one issue America must confront is the need to immediately commit the nation to sweeping energy reform. He advocates incorporating a blend of alternative energy sources, focusing on Hydrogen and electricity to power our cars, and also utilizing wind, solar and geothermal energy, as well as new technologies.

A short while back, we needed to contact the registrar of the internet domain by which people find this site. The registrar is called Melbourne IT, and it is in Australia. (It's a long story.) We tried to conduct the business at hand using their website, but the function we were trying to perform did not work. And so we called them at their Australian phone number -- they don't have one in the United States.

After an annoying wait, we finally got to speak to someone -- in Rangoon, no doubt -- who explained to us the secret method that would get our job done. We tried it, and it worked. The whole call took 10 minutes, counting the wait.

Yesterday we got our long distance telephone bill by e-mail from AT&T. The call to Australia was on there, all right.

The charge?

$44.00.

The "Don't Worry" memo.

I see the Portland Water Bureau is on a campaign to make plumbers more conservation-conscious.

My eyes have been known to deceive me, but I do believe that was the Speaker of the Oregon House and a guy in a suit looking for a booth in the bar at Higgins at lunchtime today. Alas, they were too late and had to settle for the dining room.

I hope the suit guy picked up the check, and then wrote another big check.

Overheard on the no. 6 bus:

Recorded voice over loudspeaker, announcing next stop: "Madison."

Elderly gent across the aisle from me, to his wife: "Dolly Madison?"

Wife: "No, her husband."

[Pause.]

Wife: "Old Man Madison."

We don't want to make this blog All-Peterson's-All-the-Time, but the e-mail messages on that story keep a-comin' in. Here's an exchange between a neighbor of the soon-to-be-evicted convenience store and the office of Mayor Tom Potter:

Thank you for contacting Mayor Potter about Peterson's Store on SW Morrison. Mayor Potter has asked me to reply on his behalf. This is a bulk response; if you have more detailed questions, please do not hesitate to contact me directly.

In 1999, the City of Portland informed Peterson's that its lease would not be extended past January, 2004 after a history of neighborhood complaints. An early termination of the lease was discussed in 2002, and since 2004 Peterson's has remained at its location on a month-to-month basis. Some retail tenants have refused to renew their leases, specifically citing Peterson's.

Though I have heard that the aggressive persons loitering outside Peterson's are drawn to the MAX stop, they do not board MAX trains and the City does not have similar problems at other MAX stops. We do know, however, that the loiterers are patrons of Mr. Peterson's store. Mr. Peterson has been asked several times to address a number of different problems associated with his store, but issues continue. Therefore, there are no plans to renew Mr. Peterson's lease.

Thank you, again, for emailing.

Sincerely,

Jeremy Van Keuren
Public Advocate
Office of Mayor Tom Potter

----------

Respectfully Mr. Van Keuren, I use that Max stop frequently all hours of the day. My business is located on SW Broadway between Washington and Alder. I have problems with nuisance panhandlers and street people in front of my business and all along Broadway and they certainly aren't my customers. It is much worse in front of Peet's Coffee, and a particular rowdy bunch in front of Rite Aid, than by Peterson's. This is a city problem and you are not doing much about it. Don't blame the businesses because you folks can't even keep the demonstrators away from city hall.

----------

The important distinction here is that the City owns the building Peterson's is sited in, and it would not be responsible for the City to be complacent to activity taking place on its property. We have given Mr. Peterson many years to address it. The City does not own those other properties.

Jeremy Van Keuren
Public Advocate
Office of Mayor Tom Potter

Ah, the beautiful Portland that City Hall's hundreds of "planners" are bringing us. How about some nice 11-story bunkers between Interstate Avenue and I-5? Oh, so livable. Living in an existing two-story house next to those monstrosities is going to be a real experience, too.

But hey, everybody wants some of that wonderful Interstate MAX Station vibe in their daily lives. No doubt this will be a