Good news! Multnomah County's jail problems have been solved. The county commissioners are going to take a personal tour of the jails every year, and that will make the issues disappear. That's a relief.

Here's your Screwed-up Lawsuit of the Week.

I got this via Gullyborg, who points his stinky feet at the legal profession over it. Hey, man, lawyers don't sue people -- plaintiffs do.

Here's a car I'd like to get my hands on.

As blueblood neighborhoods in Portland go, nowhere does the blood flow bluer than in groovy Dunthorpe. And some of the zillionaires down there have looked up from their Pimm's cups and noticed that they're talking about putting a streetcar through the rail corridor next to Highway 43. OMG!

But have no fear. As LocalNewsDaily gets around to explaining toward the end of this article, the fix is in, as usual:

Opposition to streetcar, if approved, is expected from areas of the Dunthorpe and Birdshill neighborhoods, which lie just north of Lake Oswego on the streetcar’s proposed route through Portland.

In Dunthorpe, some residents have threatened to take a fight against a streetcar to the courtroom. Others have shown support.

Meanwhile, Metro officials aim to approve a project that has the most benefits for the region long-term.

Metro Council President David Bragdon, eyeing potential problems, said he would weigh streetcar obstacles against regional transportation needs while setting priorities for new projects.

“I think we need to do some modeling on what the ridership would be but my hunch is that the studies would show that the projected ridership – based on population, demographics, current ridership, etc. – in that market would be less than on the Portland-Milwaukie or Portland-Tigard (Barbur) line.”

That sweetheart deal (to put it politely) between the Portland Development Commission and Trammell Crow for a condo tower on the old Police Headquarters property is on the rocks. It seems the deeper that Fireman Randy digs into the documentation on that stinker, the less interested PDC is in going through with it:

Leonard said Wednesday that both the negative appraisal and the affordable housing requirements were "complete shams." He said he would welcome a straightforward approach that clearly lays out the pros and cons of subsidizing the development. But he plans to keep pursuing a city audit of the deal and a separate appraisal.

"I'm not willing to just kiss it off at this point and say they've learned their lesson," Leonard said.

Memo to Trammell Crow: Between the tax abatement for the Alexan, which bombed, and this, it appears you need some help with the City Council. Better give The Scone a call.

Memo to Fireman Randy: Go get 'em, man.

Most of my professional reading has to do with taxes -- dense stuff, and dry as static most of the time. Last night I stumbled across an interesting piece, though. It was about the policy implications of tax incentives for alternative fuels -- ethanol in particular. And the author spent plenty of space educating us tax types about the basics of ethanol fuels as well as the tax rules that surround them.

The guy did not seem to have an ax to grind, and so I read the article with great interest. (Alas, no free link is available.) In it, I learned:

-- Ethanol is being mixed into gasoline as a replacement for MTBE, which was a replacement for lead. They all prevent engine knocking.

-- A study has shown that it takes more than three times as much fossil fuel energy to produce corn ethanol as it does to refine gasoline.

-- At an estimated U.S. production level of 9.8 billion gallons of ethanol in 2015, it will still be dwarfed by gasoline consumption of 160 billion gallons.

-- Even if all the available corn in the United States (5.95 bushels out of 15.05 billion bushels grown) is dedicated to ethanol production in 2015, it will produce only 17.9 billion gallons of ethanol.

-- Other than corn, the potential sources of ethanol are sugar and cellulose.

-- The United States isn't a great place to grow sugar, mostly because of the climate.

-- The government is working hard on finding a way to convert cellulose -- the ubiquitous basic building block of plants, and the most common organic compound on the planet -- into sugar. There's a demonstration plant on this in Ottawa.

-- Cellulosic ethanol takes far less fossil fuel to produce than corn ethanol does. And cellulosic reduces greenhouse gases much more efficiently than corn ethanol does.

-- If cellulose ethanol becomes a reality, about 1.3 billion tons of ethanol "feedstock" could be generated in this country every year.

And here's the part at which I really sat up and took notice:

-- "Of those 1.3 billion tons, one quarter would come from forests and forest products."

Yikes!

I've always wondered whether George Bush (a.k.a. Chimpy McFlightsuit) ever admitted he was wrong, and if so, how he went about it. Apparently, he does so only when forced to by the people he works for, and even then he hides behind some pretext or other.

I've got a report for you, genius. The "mission" is "accomplished" -- tens of thousands are dead, Iraq is in civil war, civil liberties at home have been abused, and the world pretty much hates us. You're a failure. Can we bring our kids home alive now?

Looks like the Floating Twinkies are going to have a "concierge":

Description
This position provides all riders of the Portland Aerial Tramway with a broad range of customer services. These customer services include, but are not limited to, information regarding Tramway fare instruments, way finding, and Tram educational materials. In addition, employees in this position assist with the resolution of public relations issues by referral to appropriate higher-level staff. The Tram Concierge is also responsible to advise, when necessary, Tram riders concerning adherence to procedures required for efficient and safe use of the Tram. This includes Tram safety regulations, boarding process, and materials transport. In instances of planned and unplanned shutdown during scheduled operations hours, the Tram Concierge will assist OHSU employees and patients to efficiently utilize the shuttle service.

Qualifications
Two years of experience in customer service relations, one year of which must have included interpretation and explanation of rules, regulations and policies and responsibility for dealing with unique or unusual situations. Demonstrated excellent customer service skills. Ability to enforce and interpret Tram standard operating procedures. Demonstrated ability to problem solve, and deal with conflict. Strong verbal and written communication skills. Ability to function outdoors in weather is important. Standing and walking for long periods of time. Pushing wheelchairs occupied by Tram riders.

Schedule and Salary Range
Monday-Friday, TBD; 1.0 FTE; Salary Range: $11.50-15.29/hour.

The author of Skull/Bones weighs in on the downtown Portland fur protests today, ending with a splendid suggestion:

I myself have the dream of organizing a large and sustained picket of as non-controversial a business as there is, just for dada-esque amusement… but that will continue to remain in the realm of my fevered imagination.

But "a large and sustained picket of as non-controversial a business as there is" -- where would that be? In these days of PC and Lars, what would be the quintessential "non-controversial business" -- one that you couldn't fairly criticize in any way? Shoe repair shop? Florist? Dentist?

Let's take time out for a musical interlude -- going back to the very beginnings of rock and roll via some fine YouTube gems.

Lots of stuff crossing the main desk here at Blog Central today about Oregon's generous pension system for public employees throughout the state. A story in the Salem Statesman-Journal caught Gordy's eye down at RoguePundit yesterday. It's pretty eye-opening. Public employees retire at around age 59 on average, but quite a few at age 53, and many make more per month retired than they did when they were working.

Yes, there have been reforms in recent years -- bitterly opposed by the bureaucrats whose pensions they have cut -- but it's still a pretty darn cushy system. On behalf of all the state's taxpayers, let me just say to you PERSians out there, you're welcome.

Meanwhile, a recipient of this taxpayer largesse -- a participant in PERS -- writes:

When I called PERS to check on my account, I found out the latest wrinkle (to me) in the heads-public-employees-win, tails-taxpayers-lose system down there. (Not that a decent retirement shouldn't be a goal of all employees. . . .)

At the end of the year, when they credit your account for earnings, what account balance do they use for the entire year's earnings? The final balance. So if you earn 8 percent, that's 8 percent of the final (highest) balance of the year. If you start the year with $0 and end up with $5,000, you get the interest on the full $5,000. Never mind the average daily balance of $2,500.

Why can't they calculate interest like any checking account or credit card balance -- on the average annual or monthly balance?

It probably is a small amount per account, but small amounts add up when you're talking tens of thousands of accounts.

Reports out of this morning's Portland City Council meeting are that the boys at City Hall, sensing the imminent breakup of the current Multnomah County commission lineup, are picking up the Mantle of Dysfunction. Meow! The spat is over the latest water billing switcheroo, which we blogged about here several weeks ago. Apparently Big Pipe and Fireman Randy are going at it. It's all supposed to calm down at 2:00, but that remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, they're throwing the rest of the eight figures of budget increases around like it's nothing. They substituted a whole new proposal right before this morning's hearing, based on the work session (no public testimony) yesterday. But hey, it's just our money, why would the public get any opportunity to make meaningful suggestions? Meanwhile, back to the back-biting.

Remember Brandon Mayfield, the guy whom the feds locked up on false accusations of terrorism? Looks like he and his lawyers (including Gerry Spence) are collecting a cool two million dollars in partial settlement of his case against the U.S. government. LocalNewsDaily has it here.

After paying Spence, the Mayfield family will probably have enough left over for a Blazer game.

Apparently the name Depoe Bay is a trademark infringement of "eBay," or so say the lawyers.

I'm surprised that Home Depot hasn't jumped in on the intellectual property madness.

When they write the history of the decline and fall of American civilization, this kind of soul-sapping incident will be in there prominently.

The missing tiles on Alberta Street have turned up safe and sound. They were taken down by a Good Samaritan who thought they were falling into disrepair and might get lost. He left them in good hands; the word just hadn't gotten to their rightful custodian by the time the story hit the news (and this blog). Ryan Frank has the story here (scroll down).

Now that's the Portland I love.

The nasty battle between the downtown Portland furriers and the anti-fur protesters is over. The protesters won, I guess, as the fur dealers say they are leaving town.

Where will the next battle be waged between darkness and righteousness in the Rose City? Yea, perhaps at an auto dealership?

Here's a sad tale of one Portland neighborhood on an upward trend -- sort of. You just can't have anything nice around here any more.

More members of our wonderful state legislature are having their memories jogged about junkets they've taken on lobbyists' dimes. You're supposed to report these trips, but when you're busy six months out of every two years letting the state go to pieces, it's hard to remember them all.

The latest batch of clods only got as far as Idaho. The earlier cadre made it all the way to Maui and Israel without noticing.

Here's a good one.

Has anybody heard what's new with the State of Oregon's criminal investigation into the apparent fraud in "clean money" signature- and donation-gathering for disgraced Portland City Council candidate Emilie Boyles? I seem to recall that a state grand jury was supposed to reach a conclusion by the end of the month -- that's this Thursday.

Meanwhile, over on Ms. Boyles's website, there's an entry dated November 20, referring to "Monday's indictment process." Did I miss something?