Here's a mystery from Brandon over at Welcome to Blog:

I was wondering if you and your readers might be able to help me solve a mystery. When I got home from work tonight, I found a cooler sitting in my front yard. Written on the top of it: ""M.B.I. METRO Q.C. DO NOT DISTURB." Of course, I opened it. Sitting inside were six metal tubes in murky water.

I live over by Lewis and Clark and there's a McMansion being built
across the street from my place. I can only assume the construction
site has something to do with the cooler. A Google search didn't turn
up anything worthwhile.

Photos and further info are up on my blog. Here's a direct link:

http://laurabush.info/2007/05/plutonium-in-my-bushes.html

Anyone got any ideas? If so, please leave a comment over there.

UPDATE, 6/1, 9:40 a.m.: As usual, the blogosphere has the answer.

What's a just punishment for this guy (assuming he's convicted)?

And I'm proud to say that I am a witness.

This on Wednesday. This on Thursday -- with no mention of Wednesday.

Pitiful.

Blue moon.

The IRS has started using private debt collection companies to collect unpaid federal taxes. This is a colossally bad idea, but "privatization" has such a nice ring to the little Republican minds at Treasury, I guess. Anyway, if you're one of the lucky taxpayers to get tapped by one of these collectors, it's likely to be... well, an interesting experience. Here are some transcripts that were bouncing around in Congress last week of calls that one taxpayer got:

Call # 1

Taxpayer: Hello.

CBE: Is [REDACTED] there?

Taxpayer: Speaking.

CBE: Right.

Taxpayer: Yes.

CBE: Hey this is Brad with the CBE Group, actually giving you a quick call here tonight in reference to a personal business matter. We actually sent you out a letter. You received that; right?

Taxpayer: No. Who is the CBE Group?

CBE: We are actually just handling a personal business matter of yours.

Taxpayer: What personal business matter?

CBE: Well, actually in order to disclose that we would need to verify your home mailing address with you.

Taxpayer: No, no, no, no. I don't know who you are or what this is. I'm not just going to just give out personal information over the phone to somebody I've never heard of.

CBE: No, I understand. I mean if you'd feel better about it I mean I can give you my number and you can give me a call back.

Taxpayer: No. I don't feel better about it at all. I have no knowledge of any personal business matter. I have no reason to talk to you.

CBE: No, and I understand. We sent you out a letter, so maybe when you receive that you can give us a call back.

Taxpayer: Okay. If it's from someone I never heard of I probably just threw it out because I thought it was junk mail. So unless you can establish some -- tell me more about who you are and what this is all about and give me some real detail, I consider the matter closed.

CBE: Okay. Thank you.

Taxpayer: Bye.

CBE: Bye.

Call #2

Taxpayer's Answering Machine: This is 663 [REDACTED]. Please leave a message. If you want [REDACTED] press 1, if you want [REDACTED].

Taxpayer's Message: Hi, this is [REDACTED]. Please leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.

CBE: This is Brandy. Please call me at 877-272-9923. Thanks.

Call #3

Taxpayer's Answering Machine: This is 663 [REDACTED]. Please leave a message. If you want [REDACTED] press 1. If you want [REDACTED] , just wait for the tone.

Taxpayer's Message: Hi, this is [REDACTED]. Please leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.

CBE: Yeah, this is Heidi. Please call me back at 877-272-9923. Thank you.

Call #4

Taxpayer's Answering Machine: This is 663 [REDACTED]. Please leave a message. If you want [REDACTED], press 1. If you want [REDACTED], just wait for the tone.

Taxpayer's Message: Hi, this is [REDACTED]. Please leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.

CBE: Hi. this is Alex. Just need you to return my call. The number here is 877-272-9923. Thank you.

Call #5

CBE: Thanks for calling CBE. This is Jennifer, number 100. How can I help you?

Taxpayer: Yes, can I speak to Alex, please.

CBE: Actually, Alex comes in in the evenings. Is there something that I can help you with?

Taxpayer: I have been getting harassing phone calls from your company by people who refuse to leave their last names. They are very rude. They say I need you to call me back. That's not something you say. You say would you please call me back.

I've gotten many of these from people with names like Brandy and Heidi and so on calling me. They don't tell me what it's about and they are asking me to call them back. I have no idea what this regards, but I need information about it and if I am not treated -- if the harassment does not desist and I am not treated with courtesy, the lawyers and the police will be on this soon.

CBE: Okay. Well, I can see what this is in regards to, sir. I'm sorry, your name?

Taxpayer: [REDACTED]

CBE: Okay. And could I just get your last name.

Taxpayer: Could I have your last name?

CBE: Yes, last name is Benoit, B-E-N-O-I-T. My ID number is 100.

Taxpayer: Okay. Mine is [REDACTED].

CBE: Okay.

Taxpayer: What is this company?

CBE: It's the CBE Group.

Taxpayer: What is that?

CBE: And it does appear we're handling a business matter here for a [REDACTED]. But, sir, I do have to verify Social Security number and mailing address.

Taxpayer: No. I'm not going to give out my Social Security number and mailing address to somebody who I don't know.

CBE: Okay, I completely understand that. I do have it here in front of me. Is there any portion of it you are comfortable with verifying?

Taxpayer: No, I'm not. Could you please tell me what the CBE Group is?

CBE: Well, we're handling a business matter here, sir, and unfortunately it is a secure matter and so we do have to be careful about who we give that information to. Have you not received the letter we sent out to you?

Taxpayer: No.

CBE: No.

Taxpayer: And I told -- people have been calling me about this. You can't just call me incessantly and say you are handling a business matter, not tell me what it is about, ask me for personal private information, and then say that I have to provide you with this information. You have to verify to me who you are. I have never heard of the CBE Group. I've never done business with anything called the CBE Group.

To you.

The Portland Water Bureau says it's got the part it needs to fix the pooling function at the fountain in Jamison Park in the Pearl District. At last report, the plan was to fix it this morning before the day heats up and the kids make the scene.

I got one of those "Dear blogger, We have something to sell your readers" e-mails this afternoon. I'm not game enough to get too involved, but the service they're offering does look interesting.

A lovely surprise from the Bonneville Power Administration! Thanks, Bush!

Where's our congressional delegation?

And where's Opie? After his PGE coup was quashed, his fervor for public power completely disappeared. Would a well organized, well managed public power district avoid some of these rude surprises? Guess we'll never know.

Here's a horror story.

An international traveler recently returned from Beijing writes:

Hey, a weird thing happened to me on the way home. I usually take a sleeping pill on these long 12-18 hour flights like to New Zealand, China, Russia. This time I took Ambien. Gosh it worked so fast. But I cannot remember anything after falling asleep until we were on our way home in the taxi on about Highway 26. I don't remember eating the breakfast before landing or filling out my customs forms, or getting off the plane, or getting my suitcase or even going through customs. Then I remembered hearing on the news the past few years about people doing weird things from taking Ambien, Xanax or Halcion... I think one person got so belligerent on a flight that they arrested him/her when the plane landed. So I Googled it. And I had "traveler's amnesia". How scary is that... knowing that people take this stuff daily!! Look at this:

Memory loss (so-called traveler's amnesia), sleepwalking, and odd mood states have been reported after taking short-acting benzodiazepines...

In 2006, reports emerged of zolpidem (Ambien) causing sleepwalking and, even more bizarrely, sleep-driving. Most of these cases likely were due to patients using zolpidem along with alcohol or other drugs or taking more than the recommended dose. However, in March 2007, the FDA ordered the makers of 13 of these drugs to strengthen warning labels. The FDA warned these medicines may be associated with potentially severe allergic reactions, such as severe allergic reaction (anaphylaxis) and severe facial swelling (angiodema). These medicines may also cause sleep-related behaviors, such as driving, making phone calls, and eating food while asleep.

The Multnomah County Democratic Party just sent me an e-mail that invites "PCPs and all interested Democrats" to attend training in Tualatin on Saturday. The idea, they say, is "to train and prepare activists and future leaders with the skills and knowledge to ensure Democratic victories throughout Oregon."

Fine, but I've got just one question: What the heck is a PCP?

For some reason this guy reminds me of Fireman Randy when he's mad.

I saw in the Merc blog the other day that Mr. Rubio of Rubio Shoe Repair in downtown Portland will be packing it in pretty soon. Back in the day when I was a full-time practicing lawyer, he put new heels and soles on many a pair of my shiny attorney shoes. He rebuilt a pair of Frye boots that I had at the time, and he even repaired a special leather wallet of mine that I didn't want to part with.

In those days he was working close to the courthouse. Now he's over on Ash, down by the Saturday Market, I guess. With his highly waxed and curly mustache, he always had a pleasant word or two as I sought his help to try to squeeze an extra year or two out of the shoes I bought at Nordstrom. He seemed like the quintessential small business owner -- hard-working, real as could be, and managing to get by. Now there's the kind of guy I wouldn't mind seeing a few of my tax dollars going to support.

There's a certain satisfaction that comes with being good at what you do for a living. I'll bet you Mr. Rubio feels it. Maybe I ought to find something in the closet for him to fix, just one more time before he retires, for old time's sake.

In the second phase of Mayor Potter's Portland Vision Quest, I'm recommending that we implement stricter government accountability measures.

Coal.

All over the great Pacific Northwest, it's so wonderful to see local government giving money away to the deserving real estate operators so that they can build, build, build those vital community assets, with no thought for their own financial interests.

... go to jail.

The popular fountain in the block-square park in the Pearl District is bubbling away today, but the feature that makes the water pool up and then gently recede isn't functioning properly. The Water Bureau is working on it, but in the meantime, you toddler parents all over town who take the wee ones to that place for a mental health break -- be forewarned.

He and his Big Idea pal are taking food from the babies' mouths.

I see that the City of Portland and the Pamplins still can't come to terms on a transfer of ownership of Ross Island. It's a darn shame. That place has got such great potential to benefit all of Portland. Respect the land, people!

Memorial Day photo? Sure. Here.

They're such great people. Everybody loves 'em.