Survivor Portland Bureaucracy: The winner
The final round of voting in Survivor Portland City Hall: Bureaucracy Edition was extremely close all day, but by the stroke of midnight, the outcome was clear. Exactly 100 Tribal Council members cast votes, with 55 of them telling us to banish Lisa.
And so Lisa Turley, director of the Bureau of Emergency Communications, I've got the 411 for you: You were close, but no cigar. You have been dispatched. It's time to pack your things and leave the island immediately.
Because, ladies and gentlemen, our grand prize winner -- the Ultimate Survivor -- is Chief Dave! That's right -- Fire Chief Dave Sprando. He outplayed, outwit, and outlasted 17 other City of Portland bureau chiefs to earn the title. Here he is receiving his award from our sponsor:
Chief Dave wins the right to purchase valuable real estate from the city for a dollar, plus tax breaks originally intended to help poor people. Congratulations to him!
Everybody, join me (in the comments) with our best wishes for the Ultimate Survivor. And hey, how about a nice round of applause for all our contestants?
Without them, we wouldn't be the remarkable, livable, sustainable city we are today. And remember, they all value your input more than you will ever know, so be sure to give them a call every now and then and tell them what you really think.
| Posted at 1:06 AM | Permalink |
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Comments (6)
So Bark Munster predictably organized the Al Capone "Vote early and vote often" constituency. Nicely done.
When it comes to politics, Firefighters rock and rule.
Posted by Silence Dogood | May 24, 2007 5:56 AM
I've known Chief Sprando for over twenty years, and worked alongside of him on many occasions. He truly is a man of integrity, backed by bravery and a sincere desire to keep our citizens safe from peril. Yeah, He's "Old School."
Posted by Bad Brad | May 24, 2007 9:29 AM
"Vote early and vote often" constituency.
Our polling software would make that difficult, although not impossible.
Posted by Jack Bog | May 24, 2007 10:51 AM
In the interests of full disclosure, I need to say that I actually cheated on this one, but it had no impact on the result.
I accidentally reversed my vote and realized it as soon as I clicked, but the poll software wouldn't let me change my vote. So I voted again - I'll decline to say how - for the other candidate to neutralize my mistake.
So you really got 98 votes and one abstention, not 100 votes.
Posted by Alan DeWitt | May 24, 2007 11:18 AM
Good thing we have vote by mail in our real elections. Nobody cheats under that system.
Posted by Jack Bog | May 24, 2007 12:00 PM
You're right about vote by mail Jack. But my parakeet is having a hard time filling out his ballot. He doesn't like ink on his beak.
Posted by Dave Lister | May 24, 2007 12:34 PM