So there we were at the pizza joint with the kids, and they had TNT going on the tube, with the sound off, right in front of me. It was a rerun of "Arli$$," the HBO black comedy series that used to follow "Sex in the City." I'm sure they clean it up a little for TNT, but there was Arliss, the unabashedly hungry sports agent, running around trying to get over on his shiftless clientele, all the while professing to the world what heroes they all are.

I kept thinking, I know a guy like that in real life, but I couldn't figure out who it was. And then, around the third slice, it hit me.

It looks as though my nephew the card shark will have to wait a little longer to become a millionaire.

Them fast-dealin' Trail Blazers have shipped out their center project from South Korea, Ha Seung-Jin, along with Steve Blake (alas) for a big guy, Jamaal Magloire from the Bucks.

This means the Darius Miles-Steve Blake package that the Blazers have reportedly been shopping around won't be sold. But with another tall timber type in the fold, does this mean that Miles and Zach Randolph are on the block together? If Zach's in play, you might get somebody to take Darius with him.

Somebody gullible.

A fellow erstwhile Jerseyite of my age caught my discussion of the pink "stuff" a while back, and he reminded me the other day that I didn't tell the full story of Mateus, the Portuguese rosé that we used to guzzle down at the Jersey Shore when we were too young to know better.

I left out two details. First of all, the Mateus bottle made an excellent candle holder, particularly after it had been used for several different candles and had all sorts of drippings down its side. The Italian restaurants used to do the same thing with those cheesy chianti bottles that came with a basket around them, but for a teenybopper crash pad, only Mateus would do. (O.k., maybe Lancers, which was the equivalent of Mateus, but just those two.)

The other angle that I missed on the Mateus story was the fact that it often accompanied some lovely hashish. Jersey was full of hash in the early to mid-seventies, and where there was Mateus, you had a good chance of finding some "blond." Ah, the nights we'd spend partaking and listening to record albums. We took turns -- everybody would get to play an album side, and explain why they picked that one. Somewhere toward midnight, the Cat Stevens and Joni Mitchell would fall away, and Let it Bleed or Sticky Fingers would get cranked up.

Some Mateus could get spilled.

One guy I could never bring myself to vote for is Ron Saxton. You look at that round mug on the front page of the paper, and you can just hear that squeaky little voice nattering on about illegal immigrants, whether their kids should be U.S. citizens, "I'm focusing on the adults," blah blah blah. "I'm not a career politician." Of course not, dude, you can't get yourself elected. People, is that the best we can do? Super gong!

I still can't see why Teddy Cool Long deserves my vote, though. Bernie Giusto, Tom Imeson, Matt Hennessee, Dale Penn -- I've had enough of the whole aerial tramload of face cards that come with the current guv. As Granny Bogdanski used to say, "Show me your friends, and I'll show you who you are."

I was hoping that Gentle Ben would emerge as a potential winner. But now he looks like just a spoiler. Spoiling it for whom? And what's he really got to offer? Guess I've still got three months to figure it out.

There comes a time in every blogger's life to give it a rest, and as you can see, that's what the last several days have held for me. The real world is shining and ringing, and the virtual world seems a little pale. I'm sure that will change eventually -- turn out the sun and bring in the clouds, that would do it -- but all of a sudden I'm taking it all in, rather than pouring anything out.

John Lennon's wisdom is weighing in on this night. "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." There's a line that originated elsewhere, but it doesn't matter where. "I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go 'round and 'round." Indeed.

Remember the XFL football player who wore "HE HATE ME" on his back where his name was supposed to go? Pretty soon that will be the official slogan of the United States.

If Bush had been President at the time, would the world have been singing "Springtime for Hitler"?

Here's an idea only a Dick Cheney type could love -- a nasty mine up by Mount St. Helens. Let's make that area the next Butte.

Don't know if you'll be able to get this if you're not a paid subscriber, but the Times has a nice little web-only interview up today with Wonkette. She talks about her secrets for blog success, and what it's like posting 12 times a day! (Not me, not today -- Life 101 is calling...)

Hey, Portland City Council members, Chicago is leaving you in the dust... again!

And please throw away the key!

Big full-page ad in the Times yesterday about gay marriage:

Impressive presentation, simple message:

The customary signature block at the bottom:

Some names on there you would expect to see:

Some others that you might not expect to see:

And hey! Whaddya know?

I strongly dislike what's become of Oregon's citizens initiative process. I refuse on principle even to look at, much less talk to, the paid signature gatherers who hover around where I do my personal business. When they asked, "Are you a registered voter?" I used to reply, "Sorry, I'm a convicted felon." But now I don't even do that -- I just keep walking.

If I hear about a petition that I'm interested in (a rare occurrence), I'll seek it out from a source that I feel I can trust. Otherwise, I don't care what they're selling, those greaseballs can leave me alone.

And if previously you didn't have a good reason to do the same, now you do: Check this one out.

Don't think I missed the news story on the audit of the City of Portland's transportation maintenance policies. The news is that the city has now given up on preventive maintenance, and sends out the street crews only when something has deteriorated to a nonfunctonal condition. Penny-wise in the short run, pound-foolish in the long run, according to the audit. And to common sense. Tune-ups are cheaper than valve jobs, or new engines.

But it's actually worse than that. The latest budget for the city's Transportation Office has some sobering observations in it, including these:

Aging Infrastructure

The condition and trends in the City's transportation infrastructure have a direct bearing on the long-term financial health of the transportation fund. The City's transportation infrastructure is deteriorating due to age and heavy use. Much of the transportation infrastructure is past its original useful life. Moreover, inventories have increased dramatically in the last 20 years due to annexation and development. Budgets have not kept up with inflation, leading to cutbacks and an increasing backlog of replacement and repair.

Transportation manages 30 groups of assets worth a total of $5.8 billion. The five most critical elements of the infrastructure are streets, streetlight system, traffic signals, bridges, and sidewalks. Each of these areas presents pressing needs requiring significantly greater resources to protect the public's investment. For example:

. The street paving backlog has reached 597 miles, more than twice the target of 250 miles needed for efficient paving program management.

. The condition of streetlights has declined significantly: 94% of streetlights were rated "good" in 1994 and only 2% "poor"; in 2005, only 22% were rated "good" and 10% "poor."

. Condition of signal hardware has declined from 69% "good" in 1986 to 28% in 2005.

. As of July 2005, 22% of bridges were in poor condition, with 31 bridges listed as weight-restricted.

. 26,324 sidewalk comers need ramps to comply with ADA standards.

PDOT estimates that additional investment of $19 to $26 million per year are required to halt the decline in system condition. An estimated investments of $28 to $36 million would be required annually to maintain the system at sustainable levels.

Cutting existing programs is another bureaucrat favorite. The practice of replacing broken curbs is on the chopping block, for example, and that popular leaf removal service that some neighborhoods get is about to come with a shiny new user fee.

Left out of the current conversation are priorities -- the things that the city is currently burning money on that make no sense.

Take the streetcar, for example. The city's subsidy of this ridiculously unnecessary toy has somehow drifted off the pages of your local paper, but it was at $1.1 million a year (and rising) when last reported. And that was before it was extended down to the vast nothingness in SoWhat, and the talk is of sending it down MLK and all the way to Lake Oswego. Plus we'll pay 15% or so of whatever it takes to operate the OHSU Health Club aerial tram [rim shot] -- and believe me, that will be a jaw-dropper of a number if and when it finally comes to light.

Even if one puts aside the obscene cost of building the toys -- part of which comes from the federal government -- the annual cost to operate them is what sucks the life out of the city in the long run.

Then there's the pure foolishness. Over in my neck of the woods, inner northeast, the city's on a major kick to get people not to drive their cars. They want you to walk or ride a bike -- take Tri-Met if you have to, even rent a Flexcar! But please, please, don't get in your own car and drive! They call it the "HUB" project, which I think stands for Hurl it Under a Bus.

Anyway, I'm willing to go along with the getting-out-of-the-car thing. In the summertime, I try to drive as little as possible, running, walking, and biking for any short hops that don't involving hauling large packages or objects. It feels great, and it's good for you. And I think it's noble for the city to show people how a healthier way of getting around is feasible in our pedestrian-friendly part of town.

But how much should we spend on that? Imagine my amusement when I got from the city in the mail recently not one but two different invitations to have the city hand out to me a free "transportation alternatives kit" that contains all sorts of maps, brochures, coupons and the like -- including a pedometer and a mini-"computer" to attach to my bike wheel to show speed, distance, time, etc. The second solicitation practically begged me to write in and get one of these care packages.

I figured, "Hey, I paid for it with my property taxes -- might as well get something back," and once I sent in my order, within a few days a city minion came out on a bike and delivered it to my doorstep:

Now how much did all of that cost? And aren't there curbs out there somewhere that could have, should have, been fixed with that money?

Bottom line: It's a crying shame what's happened to transportation maintenance in Portland. It's gone the way of park maintenance, school ground maintenance, and other wonderful features of a bygone era. But let's not kid ourselves about why it's happening. It's largely because the city has decided to spend the money elsewhere -- mostly on shinola. (Illustration idea via Cousin Jim.)

An alert reader points out that an absolute dream job has just been posted. Hands off, everybody -- this one's mine!

I'm ashamed to say that Bill McD. has once again hit the nail squarely on the head as he describes us folk of a certain age:

Meanwhile the truth is, WE suck. This generation sucks. You were loads of fun to party with but now that I've seen us in action, it's starting to be a horrible feeling. We go right on sniping at each other while the station wagon is heading off a cliff. We've taken the spoils that our parents sweated to give us, turned America into the richest most materialistic orgy in human history and now we're spending the money our children and grandchildren need for themselves.

America has become the country that hates honest science.

Here. Here. Read all about it.

The sun's setting pretty much straight in the west here in Portland. Time for that midsummer night's dream...

CORRECTION, 6:37 p.m.: Looks like old Sol's going to hit the horizon still a bit north of due west. But it's getting close. No harm in starting that dream a little early. We still come this way only twice a year.

George Bush finally agrees to speak to the NAACP, and what is he selling? Repeal of the estate tax and privatizing Social Security:

You know, one of my friends is Bob Johnson, founder of BET. He's an interesting man. He believes strongly in ownership. He has been a successful owner. He believes strongly, for example, that the death tax will prevent future African American entrepreneurs from being able to pass their assets from one generation to the next. He and I also understand that the investor class shouldn't be just confined to the old definition of the investor class.

You know, an amazing experience, when I went to Canton, Mississippi, I asked the workers there, who were mainly African American workers, I said, how many of you have your own 401(k)? Nearly all the hands went up. That means they own their own assets. It's their money. They manage their own money. It's a system that says, we want you to have assets that you can leave from one generation to the next. Asset accumulation is an important part of removing the barriers for opportunity. I think it's really important, and I want to work with Bruce, if possible. The federal government should encourage ownership in the government pension program, to give people a chance to own an asset, something they can call their own.

Uniter, decider, he's so many things...

About that gal out in Aloha who called 911 to get them to send a "cute" deputy back out to her house, even though there was no emergency:

Has anyone else observed that she's kinda cute herself?

Maybe they ought to stop staring out the window at the aerial tram [rim shot] and take a look at this.

From his amazing son.

Portland Freelancer explains.

Here's a story we'll be seeing a lot of in Portland in the years ahead.

But for now, let's use our proxies.

UPDATE, 3:02 a.m.: Here's something to go with it.

... it makes you want to just stay home and hose down your moose.

The Portland Development Commission meeting next week will continue the generous heaping of taxpayer pork into the fiscal black hole known as the South Waterfront ("SoWhat"). Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but there are all kinds of millions floating around in the new SoWhat documents that I hadn't heard of before. For example:

-- Another $4 million for the SoWhat park (already well north of $7 million spent).

-- $6 million for the greenway, a third of which comes out of the Parks Bureau budget.

-- $18.7 million to coax the Usual Suspects to build "affordable" housing down there.

-- $3.5 million of city money into an "initiative" to try to get OHSU to bring bioscience jobs into the area (which I thought was what they promised to do all along).

-- $3 million "in transportation infrastructure contingency to cover unanticipated shortfalls in transportation projects." (Is this to buy the shuttle buses, or is this for when the aerial tram budget [rim shot], now at $57 million, goes up by another $10 million or more?)

Portland taxpayers, plan a big lunch for next Wednesday. You'll be feeling a little lighter late in the morning.

March 13, 2002:

Q. Mr. President, in your speeches now you rarely talk or mention Osama bin Laden. Why is that? Also, can you tell the American people if you have any more information, if you know if he is dead or alive?...

THE PRESIDENT: Deep in my heart I know the man is on the run, if he's alive at all. Who knows if he's hiding in some cave or not; we haven't heard from him in a long time. And the idea of focusing on one person is -- really indicates to me people don't understand the scope of the mission.

Terror is bigger than one person. And he's just -- he's a person who's now been marginalized. His network, his host government has been destroyed. He's the ultimate parasite who found weakness, exploited it, and met his match. He is -- as I mentioned in my speech, I do mention the fact that this is a fellow who is willing to commit youngsters to their death and he, himself, tries to hide -- if, in fact, he's hiding at all.

So I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him, Kelly, to be honest with you.

But fellow Commissioner Erik Sten, who loudly took up the PGE cause long before Leonard, has decidedly softened his edge.

Sten, who won re-election to the council in May, said his priorities have changed. "I'm just not budgeting a lot of time for PGE right now," he said in a recent interview.

Larry Norton over on the O's Old Town blog has some interesting thoughts on this week's delinchpinization of the Portland Central Fire Station condo project, including:

[P]eople who wanted the station to move, for the most, either had a financial interest in the move or would not be one of the taxpayers footing the bill.

The Fire Department never wanted to move the station in the first place, nor did the Station Advisory Committee (SAC).

As they say, read the whole thing.

Today I got as close as I'll probably ever get to doing a triathlon:

1. Bike over to neighborhood library branch and grocery store (0.65 miles each way).

2. Run down to neighborhood pool (1.1 miles).

3. Jump around in shallow end with kids (1 hour).

4. Run back (1.1 miles).

Not exactly Olympic-level training. But something tells me I'll be feeling it, oh, along about Saturday afternoon.

I spent some quality time with yesterday's New York Times, and I learned all kinds of stuff. Like:

-- The death toll in Iraq is now more than 100 people a day.

-- Blogspot has been banned in India.

-- New York City may try to make Critical Mass get a parade permit for every ride.

-- In New York City, before you can build a large development, you are required to prepare an environmental impact statement.

-- It costs the federal government 1.4 cents to mint a penny.

As Walter used to say, "And that's the way it is."

Here -- watch any of them -- and weep with me.

A survey of Portland researchers reveals that today's presidential veto will have no effect on existing programs.

That sea of Irvington clay that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago has turned into a sea of gravel. They've covered over the native soil with a layer of thick black plastic, and then a thick layer of small gray rocks, to serve as the foundation for the artificial surface soccer field. Here's a closer view:

I just noticed from the two sets of photos that they've removed the old light pole at the far end of the field. There's also a new retainer around three sides of the bed that's been made for the playing surface, and a legitimate retaining wall appears to be going in on the north end:

I hope I get to see what goes down between the gravel and the fake grass. As for the dogs whose owners used to run them on the old schoolyard blacktop all the time, I'm sure they can't wait, either. That gravel just ain't comfy underfoot.

The City of Portland has decided not to move the Central Fire Station. Why not? Lots of good reasons, but the best one is because -- I am not making this up -- it is not a linchpin any more! According to this morning's O story:

"Public process is important, but one of the mayor's primary obligations is to be fiscally responsible with taxpayer dollars," said John Doussard, the mayor's spokesman. Sten, who oversees the Fire Bureau, said the economic outlook for Old To