Smith incident snarls traffic
Oregon State Police report major tie-ups on I-5 in the Portland area this morning as they attempt to cope with an outburst by Portland mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith. Saying he feels stifled by criticism of his driving record, Smith reportedly hijacked a military drone and began bombing cars on the busy interstate freeway. ODOT cameras revealed a high-speed chase that reached speeds of 95 miles per hour, after which Smith was apprehended, but not before kicking several officers in the groin. As he was led away in a straitjacket, he yelled, "They can't cross the Columbia if they don't make it to the Columbia," according to witnesses.
"I've never seen anything like it," said Kim Page of Aurora, who narrowly avoided being hit by flying chunks of asphalt as she was driving her mini-van to her job at Legacy Labs near the Rose Quarter. "There's something about that guy that's not screwed on right."
The mayoral candidate was taken to a local hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, but until Smith's medications kick in again -- and he can give authorities the launch codes -- the unmanned drone will continue dropping ordinance from overhead. Motorists are advised to look up occasionally and tune in to local radio for alternate driving routes.
Smith's supporters have rushed forward to say the incident was "no big deal." Bike Walk Vote added that their support for the candidate remains firm.
Comments (9)
Let me get this straight... A candidate for mayor reaches out to Oregon voters in a new and creative way, and that's a problem? Oh sure, some Oregonians resent him for the drone attack, but don't we want a leader who's willing to make unpopular decisions? A leader who's not afraid to take the initiative with a new idea no matter what the polls might say? Besides, he already has an exciting, new plan to have volunteers fill in the craters from the bombs. Isn't it refreshing to see a politician who can cut through the red tape and get things done? I have never been more sure that this is the man we want in charge of our city and our lives.
Posted by torridjoe | September 7, 2012 7:53 AM
Endorsed by Randy Leonard....how can we lose?
Posted by Old Shep | September 7, 2012 8:31 AM
There's someone(s) crazy around there, but I don't know who...
Posted by Sam L. | September 7, 2012 9:31 AM
"non-life-threatening injuries" = punch in the nutz?
Posted by Steve | September 7, 2012 9:46 AM
Word is out that Straitjacket Jeffery didn't go to an adult psych unit but to the Doernbecher Childrens Hospital "Our Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Team". We wish him the best.
But maybe worse is that Char-lie now wants a streetcar built to Pill Hill. His streetcar bosses feel left out since the Tram excluded a surface connection.
Posted by lw | September 7, 2012 10:21 AM
... will continue dropping ordinance ...
Good pun, Jack.
Posted by Molly | September 7, 2012 10:24 AM
It good to see that those of us with warped senses of humor has made an impact on this site...
And who sez u can't make a difference?
Posted by Tim | September 7, 2012 11:08 AM
If facts make a difference, either that above or this below, one or the other is foolery:
[That Copy'n'Paste is less than half of the Wayne Madsen Report behind his paywall.]I think an incident of Jeff Smith driving drones has a larger probability of being encountered in the real world, larger than the chance risk of the hi-technology Supremacist wet dreams of 2001 being built out. Like this: J.Smith and drones really exist. Nano-bugs and -bombs and -bullyBOO 1) don't exist, 2) can't be built, 3) are 'wish listed' and exaggerated to attract funding, and 4) don't work, (ask anyone from military experience whether the 'equipment' works; see 'FUBAR' and 'SNAFU'). The main US DoD modern weapon is Lie & Bluff, (like Lars and FOX TV), getting people to believe mythic ability exists (although it truly doesn't) can control people as usefully as if such 'magic powers' underwear did exist.
Like, a poker game in which you are told to fold because one player has 5 aces intimidation; (5 aces don't exist, can't be got, is exaggerated, doesn't win: show 'em and get shot).
If hi-tech supreme 'weaponry' did exist, imagine it in the hands of the Jeff Smiths (or Paul Ryans) among us.
And the 'terrifying threat' DoD bluff intimidates fewer and fewer folks -- like a little boy who cries "threat" too many times while clear-eyed people see there is no 'threat.'
Tens of Millions of Americans today know Bush/Cheney's (and Obama's) fable of 9/11 is Big Lies and Americans (especially youngsters) know the 3 skyscrapers were blown up with pre-planted explosives. (Here's a daily debunk countdown to 11th anniversary.)
A Chinese submarine cruised through the 'impenetrable submarine detection network' (DoD exaggeration) off L.A. and, underwater, launched a trans-Pacific MIRV ICBM demonstration seen eye-witness by millions of Los Angelenos ... unfooled by the immediately-afterwards deployed and catapulted spinning TV propaganda.
Posted by Tenskwatawa | September 7, 2012 2:46 PM
There for a second I got it confused with this story: 1 Dead, 1 Wounded During Ky. Homeowners Meeting, By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, September 7, 2012.
~ "A neighbor says people were intimidated by the man accused in a fatal shooting at a Louisville homeowner's association meeting because he was unpredictable and threatening." ~
threatened people often saying he carried a gun. "unpredictable and threatening"
But, so well, Jefferson Smith doesn't carry a gun ... not that he bloviates about.
Posted by Tenskwatawa | September 7, 2012 3:40 PM