Portland police may help in elephant ownership flap
The Portland police bureau announced this morning that it has offered to assist in the forthcoming negotiations between the Oregon Zoo and a California company that has ownership rights to the new baby elephant born at the zoo. At a hastily called press conference at police headquarters, Chief Mike Reese said he had begun discussions with Metro officials, who are in charge of the zoo facility, to have the police serve as a go-between between the zoo and the company, Have Trunk Will Travel.
"We believe that our officers have important skills that they can bring to the table in this situation," Reese told reporters. "Our expertise may make it possible for the calf to remain in Portland while she receives the basic training that she would otherwise undergo under private ownership. It's another opportunity for a worthwhile public-private partnership."
The chief noted that Portland police are expert in the use of stun guns and billy clubs, which are key elements in training pachyderms for circuses and ride operations. Although the use of bullhooks by police is rare, Reese said that several officers had already contacted him to volunteer for practice with the devices. "The bureau is here to protect and serve," Reese said. "We think we're uniquely positioned to help solve this problem."
He added that city commissioner Amanda Fritz, a retired mental health nurse, has offered to be present to comfort the animals during their interactions with the police. The city may also form a new Elephant Equity Commission (EEC) to supervise the project, Reese said.
| Posted at 10:09 AM | Permalink |
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Comments (13)
Jack this is the funniest yet. Nice Job!
Posted by Bill | December 4, 2012 10:23 AM
I'd pay to see Packy sit on any PoPo officer who tried to shoot it with a beanbag gun.
Posted by Harry | December 4, 2012 10:56 AM
I'll tell you, watching those videos of the goons at work in the elephant rental company, it didn't take long before I was hoping to see one of them get trampled. That crap is barbaric.
Posted by Jack Bog | December 4, 2012 10:58 AM
I'm laughing to keep from crying.
Posted by Cary | December 4, 2012 11:09 AM
This is priceless!
But, is Metro so hard up they have to sell offspring to run the zoo? Maybe the breeder politicians in local government could contribute a child or two.
Posted by umpire | December 4, 2012 11:42 AM
Funding for the Elephant Equity Commission will come from a new City fee imposed, per capita, on the air breathed by all persons within the City limits, regardless of whether they are City residents or not. There will be an exemption for all elected officials and government employees, who by he nature of heir jobs, inhale a larger quantity of oxygen than the average, so as to be able to exhale the necessary volumes of hot air.
This is not an unconstitutional inhalation tax, but a per capita fee.
Posted by Nonny Mouse | December 4, 2012 11:48 AM
Just let Tusko the stud elephant stomp a few street kids downtown and we can all be happy...
Posted by Tony | December 4, 2012 12:02 PM
Will the EEC be within the City of Portland or will it be a new layer of Metro?
Posted by Erik H. | December 4, 2012 12:11 PM
Elephantgate....
Who knew what when?
Posted by nancy | December 4, 2012 3:13 PM
This new mission makes a lot of sense.
ALL government agencies have a difficult time staying in their own lane, so it's not all that hard to believe.
The Portland Police Bureau has clearly given up on protecting and serving law abiding citizens. They might as well tackle a job more suited to their "counseling expertise" since preventing property and violent crime is too difficult a task.
Posted by ltjd | December 4, 2012 3:24 PM
Ha, ha! I noticed that the Zoo had an appeal in today's Oregonian in regards to a name for the new baby elephant. Of course you don't really get to suggest anything. Unlike when Packy and other baby pachyderms were named, and citizens were allowed to propose what they liked, the "keepers" have "chosen" a handful of approved names that you must select between. When this happened the last time, I asked the Zoo why they weren't letting Portland citizens contribute their own ideas (our neighborhood families had a great suggestion which they would not consider) and we were told that the keepers "knew best."
Posted by NW Portlander | December 4, 2012 8:27 PM
I'm enjoying this debate on one level:
It isn't everyday that the elephant in the room, is an elephant in a room.
Posted by Bill McDonald | December 5, 2012 1:15 AM
Hostage negotiators--who could be better?
Posted by Sam L. | December 5, 2012 8:44 AM