This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on November 25, 2012 8:44 AM. The previous post in this blog was He taught me how to watch, fight, and pray. The next post in this blog is Take an Alka Seltzer -- here comes another helping. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Caption this photo

Downtown Holiday Unveiling
So far the best we've got is, "He filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk."

Comments (32)

In a flashback of his own mentoring, Sam wistfully realizes how little time is left to give away Portland's remaining assets.

"A lump of coal? I've got a full streetcar full of coal for this clown!"

Where are all the good little boys?

"Wait until this clown finds out there is no Santa"

"...in closing I must say I am very disappointed at being required to deliver Portland’s presents by streetcar and believe the new reindeer tax is a bit unfair. Last but not least, Mrs. Claus and I don’t understand why the North Pole is being asked to help pay for the Sellwood Bridge project."

Don't you mean "He filled all the stockings, then turned to a jerk."

So in conclusion, because the reindeer were emitting too much methane and contributing to global warming, from now on we will only be delivering toys by bicycle. Although Tom Miller has timed all the traffic lights for us, we will still only be able to reach about 112 kids this year. Sorry, the rest are out of luck.

This repulsive creep says his plan for a new partnership, Santa Committee and new tax on all deliveries will result in a better Christmas for families throughout Portland.

How the heck did you ever get such an idiot for Mayor?

I'd like to bump into him in the city hall men's room......

Sam: "Gee, I wonder if anyone else sees that it's Neil Goldschmidt."

Damn, now I know what my next career move it going to be!

I'm just about there on size, can lie my ass off, and no one will make a fuss if a little one is sitting on my lap.

"And here to present you with this year's naughty list, Mayor Adams."

Santa Clause speaks at a press conference where Portland Mayor Sam Adams unveiled his plan to address a city revenue shortfall by collecting a fee on rooftop reindeer parking.

"On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!" And that was before Beau!

"And the brown envelope goes to...."

Santa: "I am here today to announce Sam Adams has been selected to lead our sustainability efforts on the Island of BrokenToys.
Wood chipping and composting will begin immediately.
Do not put reindeer s**t in the green bins.
Pick up will be only on a monthly basis.
All plastics must be put in the blue bins....

I'm feeling a little jolly under my slacks right now. I wonder if his elves are near by?

Rest assured the Better Bag Ban will not affect my sustainable toy bag....

"I am here to announce that Mayoy Creepy has been naughty."

"I shall resign as Santa effective at noon tomorrow. Vice Santa Adams will be sworn in as Santa at that hour in this office."

(thought bubble above Sam): "I think I met him at the 2007 International Bear Rendevous. But he was wearing all leather, so it's hard to tell."

Sam: Wanna' jingle my bells?

Oops, that's "Claus".

Just a moment, I have to go back and get the whip out of the sleigh.

"See these Christmas balls I have in my left hand?? They used to be the Mayor's. See how he is covering up?? Yes, it is true, as they say,---your Mayor has no balls."

Sam is so excited about trains, he's ready to pull one.

Sam's smiling cause he's looking forward to sitting in Santa's lap as soon as the presser is over.....

Hey, Bud, is that the best job I can expect after mayorship?

Santa did his best to fill everybody’s Christmas wishes and then turned to Sammyboy and said: "Along with the wishes of others, here are your walking papers. My job is very difficult as is, so quit dictating how people – including myself - should travel, and stop trying to plug up all the chimneys in Portland you jerk!”

I know he knows who's naughty and nice, but does he have to hold a d#@*! press conference just about me?

"Sorry I'm late -- the closest parking spot was in Beaverton."

"When a Celebrated Activist Turns Out To Be an FBI Informant, the Sagittarian
Satyr Cause© is hereby canceled because Pope disputes the date of Jesus' birth.
Sorry folks, no shopping until further notice"

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