Latest from Portland: Don't flush Kleenex or run garbage disposal
Our City of Portland water and sewer bill got here yesterday, and as usual, we nearly fainted when we looked at the number. It's up more than 15% over the last two years. And we used less water this quarter than in the corresponding quarter in previous years.
That's bad enough. But no communication from the city is complete any more without lots of extraneous material telling you how to live. And sure enough, inserted in with the bill was important life guidance from both the water and sewer bureaus, both of which are currently being sued for misspending ratepayer dollars.
Here's part of what the sewer bureau told us:
We can see why people shouldn't try to flush disposable diapers and turkey carcasses. But honestly -- don't flush facial tissue? Minimize garbage disposal use? For what we're paying these people -- more and more dough every time we turn around -- they'll just have to deal with our used tissues and ground-up lemon rinds.
What next? "Only wipe your butt three times"? You just know that one is coming from these birds pretty soon.
Transportation bureaucrats telling you not to drive. Water bureaucrats telling you to brown out your yard. Sewer bureaucrats telling you not to flush Kleenex. That's Portland. They don't realize that their whole little world depends on the goodwill of the average Portlander. They're coming dangerously close to losing that person.
| Posted at 8:46 AM | Permalink |
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Comments (37)
The next thing The Admiral will do is outlaw toilet paper!
Welcome to the 3rd world! ...Portlandia
Posted by Portland Native | September 20, 2012 9:48 AM
I don't see tampons on the list....I guess they'd re still OK? Ha Ha!
Posted by Portland Native | September 20, 2012 9:50 AM
What next? "Only wipe your butt three times"?
Why was there no "swallow beverages" warning before this sentence like there was on the Thumper Humphreys post?
Posted by reader | September 20, 2012 9:57 AM
A few months ago, PBOT held a seminar called re-streets featuring two speakers from Berkley. One of the ideas presented was a street without signage. My first thought was never in Portland. The dictators at City Hall are too intent on telling people what to do and how to live. One only needs to look at the list of instructions signs posted at intersections where new crosswalk signals have been installed, or the new bridge signs Sammyboy is touting that ask if you need help crossing this bridge. The subtle suggestion only inspires people to jump.
Posted by TR | September 20, 2012 10:06 AM
Dilemma. These instructions make me want to vomit, but I'm not sure where I'm allowed to.
Posted by PDXLifer | September 20, 2012 10:20 AM
In the compost bucket, of course!
Posted by Portland Native | September 20, 2012 11:12 AM
The City will not tell you that you can only wipe three times. However, it WILL recommend that to save paper, all citizens should use both sides.
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | September 20, 2012 11:34 AM
One of the ideas presented was a street without signage.
If we had no street signs, what we would do with that most Portland street sign of all, "Except Bicycles"?
Posted by Dave J. | September 20, 2012 11:41 AM
What next?
No spitting either. Just like that most progressive of cities, Singapore.
Posted by John Rettig | September 20, 2012 11:47 AM
Water bureaucrats and council pushing us to drink fluoride!
Hush hush and a rush rush to a vote to do so.
How about we the community tell the city to stop
interfering with our daily lives/ behavioral and now
their dictate to medicate our community!
http://www.cleanwaterportland.org/
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 11:49 AM
I think the idea is to tell people that even a piece of toilet tissue can cause so much damage to the sewer system that they need to hire even more staff to send out the nag notices to you.
In other words, we are all a bunch of idiots who need constant reminders to stay off their lawn.
Posted by Steve | September 20, 2012 12:11 PM
They don't realize that their whole little world depends on the goodwill of the average Portlander. They're coming dangerously close to losing that person.
How many have left already? They keep this up and there won't be enough moving vans!!
From our beloved City of Roses to the City that Works to the City of Compliance!
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 12:19 PM
Or maybe just "the village"....
"I am not a number!"
Posted by Portland Native | September 20, 2012 12:29 PM
Texas Triffid Ranch The City will not tell you that you can only wipe three times. However, it WILL recommend that to save paper, all citizens should use both sides.
Today's Theme Song:
"Both Sides Now"
-Joni Mitchell
Posted by Starbuck | September 20, 2012 12:33 PM
Hey! Brilliant idea: Toilet paper dispenser incorporating the Mitchell song as it dispenses TP.
Entrepreneurs take note. You saw it here first!
Posted by Starbuck | September 20, 2012 12:39 PM
Toilet paper is so yesterday.
Today it's Bidet.
in Old French, bider meant to trot
Bidet is a French word for pony (and in Old French, bider meant to trot). This etymology comes from the notion that one rides a bidet much like a pony is ridden. In addition, the bidet is also referred to as the "garden hose."
Hey! I'm not making this stuff up!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet
Posted by Starbuck | September 20, 2012 12:47 PM
Like I said yesterday - Fill the garbage bin first - then worry about recycling. and flush food scraps down the toilet - no bones. This is their nightmare that they - the City of Portland - created for themselves. They want to micro-manage our behavior, and have relived us of the responsibility of making decisions regarding our garbage.
Posted by Mark | September 20, 2012 12:57 PM
More evidence that Portland has a few thousand too many bureaucrats.
Thanks
JK
Posted by jim karlock | September 20, 2012 1:02 PM
JK,
Do you have any numbers as to how many planners we have in our city, county and metro?
Another interesting number to know would be how many PR people in those offices?
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 1:49 PM
Seriously, the garbage disposals are the next to go. I've heard grumblings from Greenies.
Vote with your feet people. Get out of Dodge.
Posted by dm | September 20, 2012 2:56 PM
Sewers are designed to carry water, human waste and toilet paper, period.
How about designed to handle fluoride, and they are concerned about toilet paper!!
Excerpts:
http://www.energywave.com/lifestyle-survival-issues/fluoride/fluoride-makes-no-sense.htm
· CORROSION: Fluoride, one of the most highly reactive elements known, is so corrosive that it eats through metal, glass, and ceramic. Fluoridation lowers pH and accelerates corrosion because the water becomes a more conductive electrolyte, precipitating rust or sludge into the systems. Typical examples reported of increased corrosion in fluoridated water systems include: city water main breaks: hot water heaters eaten out: lawn-sprinkling piping systems corroded and leaded; domestic and industrial plumbing rapidly corroded and excessively leaded increasing repair costs as much as 500%; pipes, meters and water-sing equipment clogged by rust and sludge high in fluoride content --8,000 ppm not uncommon, etc. Many towns have abandoned fluoridation because of the exorbitant costs incurred to the public and private sectors for fluoride-induced corrosion.
· LEAD: The high corrosive nature of fluorides causes lead to leach from pipes and solder, increasing lead contamination in drinking water. The problem is most acute in older domestic dwellings with lead piping, but lead is also leached from service lines connecting to the city system, brass faucets (contain lead), copper plumbing soldered with 50/50 lead/tin solder. Moreover, the industrial-grade chemicals used to fluoridate-usually hydrofluosilicic acid, toxic waste product of the phosphate fertilizer industry--contain contaminants such as lead, arsenic, mercury, cadmium, antimony, uranium, etc.Many towns have stopped fluoridating in order to facilitate compliance with EPA safety levels for lead in public drinking water.
There is more on the website including employment safety hazards for workers who handle this product. It doesn't sound good at all!
Maybe that should be the next job for Sam and the Admiral! They wouldn't care unless they had to work there.
What in the world are we getting into here?
There us more to this than just about the teeth!!
We have had geniuses design a system and it looks like buffoons are willing to wreck it!
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 3:26 PM
Those are cautions we heed with our septic system which, over time, costs a lot less. So when will Portland be in line for a reduction in its sewage rates?
Posted by Newleaf | September 20, 2012 3:39 PM
Didn't know I was allowed to throw a steel can in the garbage.
Posted by Anon | September 20, 2012 6:28 PM
Anon... +100.
Posted by PDXLifer | September 20, 2012 6:31 PM
gag- thank goodness we got out of Dodge and left all this "nannisms" behind us ---ooops maybe I shouldn't have said "behind us"
Posted by K.W. | September 20, 2012 6:55 PM
Starbuck: even if the average Portlander could afford the bidet and associated installation costs, he or she could never afford the water to run the thing. Good idea, though.
Posted by Alice | September 20, 2012 7:00 PM
Sewers are designed to carry water, human waste and toilet paper, period.
How about designed to handle fluoride, and they are concerned about toilet paper!!
Oops, I meant to write . . . . . . . . . . . . and they are concerned about facial tissue!!
Who knows, the ultra soft toilet paper may be next on the ban list.
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 8:52 PM
I am not giving up my Cottonelle or my SUV!
Posted by Portland Native | September 20, 2012 9:45 PM
You may need that SUV to drive over to WA to load up on Cottonelle and other products by the time they are done with us!
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 10:02 PM
Look, I talked with folks tonight, some can't sleep over this, I find I write about it, it helps. Much of what I write never hits this blog.
How in the world can there be any respect or trust left for these people who are either as I have said before inept or corrupt?
The continual shabby treatment of the public, and to ignore the science and then tell us they have looked at the science and made the best decision for all of us is just mind boggling! I will add downright scary!
Posted by clinamen | September 20, 2012 10:51 PM
y'all talk a blue streak, and venting is good for the soul, or at least the blood pressure.
But as Tammany Boss Croker once said, "Whaddaya gonna do about it?"
Posted by The Other Jimbo | September 20, 2012 10:59 PM
"Sewers are designed to carry water, human waste and toilet paper, period."
The good news: I guess I no longer have "roust-about" duties since I can't use cleaning solutions or cleansers.
The bad news: Well, don't visit and ask to use the bathroom, please.
Posted by PDXLifer | September 21, 2012 12:49 PM
"Sewers are designed to carry water, human waste and toilet paper, period."
The main problem that I see with this is that Sam, Randy, Susan, and their minions are way too big to flush. So the sewers really aren't designed to carry human waste, as they claim.
Posted by AlSleet | September 21, 2012 5:44 PM
Each member of your household will be issued the three seashells.
City trolls will inform us if any paper enters the sewer.
Posted by Downtown Denizen | September 21, 2012 9:36 PM
The Other Jimbo wrote:
as Tammany Boss Croker once said, "Whaddaya gonna do about it?"
What I did about it was vote with my feet.
I'm happier now. Our public services are just services, not a fulcrum for inane and unaffordable social engineering.
In retrospect, I don't even miss things in Portland I thought I'd miss. It's nice out here.
You've had your eye on that sweet place out there. Join us!
Posted by Downtown Denizen | September 21, 2012 9:43 PM
...that sweet place out there. Join us!
May I ask where that place is that you moved to?
Posted by clinamen | September 21, 2012 11:10 PM
clinamen, my comment above was confusing -- "out there" could be anywhere one dreams of living. In my case, we moved to Clackamas County. Our community isn't perfect (you only see that in Lifetime movies); but we're quite enjoying it there.
Posted by Downtown Denizen | September 23, 2012 7:18 PM