How about after Blazers games? Don't they serve beer in the Rose Garden?

I have no problem with that. But to be fair to the Blazers, they don't tolerate or encourage drunkenness as part of their event "atmosphere."

Bagpipes? That's it to get Timbers fans psyched up.

Slight diff with Blazer games, they have active alcohol monitors. If you go down to the Timbers Army section, they have an ongoing MIN for blood alcohol to get into the section.

Who knows, my someone will realize Merritt's daddy has a lot of GS stock and will sue him one day for a drunk driving death.

Alcohol sales at Blazer games strictly end at the beginning of the 4th quarter. Do the Timbers have a similar rule?

Doesn't it take like 6-8 beers just to make soccer watchable?

I know I'd have to down a half bottle of vodka just to sit through one of those boring games. And I don't really drink much.

"The tradition is new this season" and I don't think that was supposed to be funny.

First of all, if you're genuinely serious about cracking down on alcohol consumption at sports events, you have to start with the parking lot at Autzen Stadium.

Alcohol sales at Jeld-Wen are cut off at the 60-minute mark, 30 minutes before the game ends.

Wait a second. This doesn't make sense.

There's no parking by Jeld-Wen field. Everyone rides the MAX or Streetcar to the soccer game.

There should be no drunk driving. By definition, the worst offense is throwing up or passing out on a train that has entered Hillsboro city limits.....

Brilliant comparison to the parking & Max "enforcement" Jack. I'll toast to that. Prince Paulson would probably just hold his breath, pitch to the floor and kick his feet if they did cast any nets for stupefied soccer sots.

Meanwhile, why don't the Blazers just change their name to the Hearts & Bones Breakers and be done with it?

Bill said: " 'The tradition is new this season' and I don't think that was supposed to be funny.

Yep, noticed that, too. The Rose Festival invoked the same instant tradition when they came up in 2011 with "The Clown Prince", "an instant icon." Why a clown prince was necessary when we already have the Royal Rosarians is beyond me. He also comes with a legend.

http://www.rosefestival.org/clownprince/

Timber fans have a blood alcohol level that is usually higher than the final score...

But seriously, there are hundreds of people out there driving drunk and they need to stop doing it.

Of course one has to wonder why they allow parking lots for bars in the first place.

How about with
"The Clown Prince" we have an accompanying
float with "The Clown Council?"

"you have to start with the parking lot at Autzen Stadium."

Brilliant, lets take the alcohol cap off at Jeld-Wen until we fix Autzen's problems.

"Alcohol sales at Jeld-Wen are cut off at the 60-minute mark"

Then we sure must have a lotta light-weights in that Timbers Army section based on the level of intoxication at games end. I've seen.

God, I can't believe I am admitting to actually going to see a Timbers game. Then again, I understand the need for some kind of general anesthetic after watching them.

"Timber fans have a blood alcohol level that is usually higher than the final score..."

And their average IQ.

You know, I think it would not be too difficult to Photoshop certain faces onto the image of the Clown Prince. I don't like to encourage this kind of rowdiness but it would be strangely appropriate.

Well the decision is easy. Mathematics. What makes more money? Parking enforcement or DUI enforcement?

Clowns are creepy.