It's to laugh
The Portland City Council can easily get one's blood boiling, but in brighter moments it's important to stop and savor the sublime hilarity of their actions. Take the police fitness money scandal, for example -- the one in which any cop can get an extra $739 pay just by showing up once to take a blood test:
Ninety one percent, or 823 of the 900 members of the Portland Police Association got the extra pay the first year for simply showing up to get their finger pricked for blood, blood pressure taken and height and weight checked. The original plan was to have police take a timed obstacle and physical abilities test. Passing would earn the premium pay – 1 percent of top step officer salary, or $739.The city scrapped the fitness test after the union balked about having to take the exams off-duty without receiving overtime. Yvonne Deckard, director of the city's Bureau of Human Resources, said the potential cost of paying officers overtime to take the fitness test would have been unacceptable.
We're surprised comics the world over haven't been yukking it up over that one. It's just too good. But almost as funny are the politicians' reactions to it. This abomination must stop! Yes, so outraged are the city commissioners that by gum, they're going to try to negotiate that out of the next union contract!
Leonard asked the City Council to consider a resolution that would put off any change until a new contract is negotiated in 2013. Under his plan, the city's Bureau of Human Resources would be directed to develop a physical fitness test for police before agreeing to pay a 1 percent premium health and fitness pay to officers in the next contract....Mayor Sam Adams, who serves as police commissioner, said today, "Negotiations or implementation of the negotiations didn't go exactly as I had hoped."
The council voted 4 to 1 to approve Leonard's resolution. Saltzman objected.
What courage. What wonderful stewardship of the public's hard-earned money.
The capper of them all, though, is this:
Saltzman wants to require notetakers at all contract talks to provide an "accurate record" and greater involvement of the council and city attorney's office in crafting city bargaining agreements.
Note-takers? Note-takers? We've got five commissioners, each with a dozen or more minions running around on staff, and nobody knows what's in the union contracts because they need note-takers?
Fred Armisen, eat your heart out -- you'll never be that funny.
| Posted at 10:46 AM | Permalink |
|
Comments (11)
I hope they don't load up on donuts before the test- that will really mess up their blood sugar level...
Posted by Ralph Woods | February 2, 2012 11:36 AM
Oh, but look at how the mayor is spending his precious time: promoting important television about Northwest beers:
http://blog.oregonlive.com/portlandcityhall/2012/02/mayor_sam_adams_promotes_onlin.html
So...how long before he starts tweeting about autograph sessions, so you can touch his robe as he walks by?
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | February 2, 2012 11:40 AM
Sounds to me like one of those "let us make you better people" wellness kind of things a big brother city wanted in the contract, so the union bit. They should have had the foresight to go after perks or pay not so obviously abhorrent to the average taxpayer.
Posted by Gibby | February 2, 2012 11:43 AM
It would be interesting to see a room filled with the 77 cops who didn't take the blood test. I wonder how many of them would look like Mark McGwire or Barry Bonds in their "prime."
"Note takers?" Is that a typo? Don't they mean "negotiators?" That's like saying the Blazers need better fans, not better players.
Posted by observer | February 2, 2012 11:47 AM
Ha Ha Ha! The Portland Police Association (PPA), the police union, wins again! Like it always does!
The PPA is always prepared to outspend the City in prparing for "negotiations" by at least 10 to 1 and have the best of the best legal reps in interest arbitration, a process designed in favor of the unions in Oregon's collective bargaining law (originally written by Ted Kulongowski). The City knows this. Plus RandySam always want to give away the store anyway so folks like Ms. Deckard, try for change and hope for the best... And, always lose.
And just think - all those fake fitness premiums... they'll get factored into the City's unfunded Police Pension system.
Suck it up Portlanders. RandySam left you with a set of unparralleled labor contracts, unsustainable long term costs and no resources or expertise left to make any effective change. You elected giveaway scam artists and you will continue to repeat your errors by electing the next generation of scam artists.
Posted by retired ... and watching the show ... and laughing | February 2, 2012 12:40 PM
In my world, if you aren't able to do your job, you don't get to keep it.
Posted by snowdog | February 2, 2012 2:52 PM
observer--I was thinking that those 77 officers were simply dumb as posts for passing up all that money. Which of us is the more cynical one?
Posted by Michelle | February 2, 2012 4:11 PM
TTR: I'm no fan of Mayor Mcstreetcar, but what's wrong with recording a 20 second intro for a promotion for local business, even if it is incredibly cheesy? God forbid might help out one of our few growing manufacturing sectors.
Posted by styrofoamcup | February 2, 2012 5:00 PM
snowdog wrote:
In my world, if you aren't able to do your job, you don't get to keep it.
So true. I occasionally lose sleep over the ups and downs in my career. It must be nice not to ever worry!
In their world, if you dumped your motorcycle and claimed disability, then the board not only paid up, they actually discouraged you from trying to rehabilitate and come back.
It was a free ride all the way, until the crackdown. I came across a couple (as in they were an item) of PPB officers who retired quite early via this method, then promptly lit out for sunnier climes. They certainly weren't alone.
Even if this isn't done anymore, the general attitude is still there...
Posted by Downtown Denizen | February 3, 2012 12:21 AM
Doesn't anyone even TRY to look like they are competent and honorable anymore? Is this what being on the public dole does to a person? Once you lose the connection between effort and reward, then it becomes a free for all of takers and abusers. But if we (taxpayers) allow public employees to take advantage of us, then we have trained them to expect no resistance.
Posted by Nolo | February 3, 2012 12:54 AM
$739.00 extra pay to stick a finger, results in loosing 56 officer positions, how nice http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2012/02/portland_police_chief_submits_1.html
I'll stick my middle finger at the CoP.
Posted by phil | February 3, 2012 5:21 AM