How to prepare for a catastrophic earthquake
Plant a vegetable garden and ride a bicycle.
You'd laugh -- it's a grotesque self-parody, really -- but we taxpayers are paying for all this greenwash, with money we don't have.
Plant a vegetable garden and ride a bicycle.
You'd laugh -- it's a grotesque self-parody, really -- but we taxpayers are paying for all this greenwash, with money we don't have.
Comments (23)
Why don't we just save CoP a lot of time and trouble and move back into caves?
No sewers/toilets/heat/water/electricity, think of it.
Posted by Steve | September 30, 2010 11:59 AM
How about buying a bunch of temporary bridges (like the Army uses) and then positioning them in warehouses near the river? That's my big fear about a quake--every bridge goes out, and there's no way to get people, supplies, etc. across the river.
Posted by Dave J. | September 30, 2010 12:03 PM
I have a 72 hour kit in my house. An AK - 47 and ten thousand rounds of ammo. No one will take my food away.
Posted by John Benton | September 30, 2010 12:15 PM
Conspicuous nonconsumption. It's better than ostentatious displays of wealth, but the underlying principle and insecurity is the same. Among the many ways recycling is like religion is the need for some to appear pious in the eyes of the world, while others just go about their business.
Portland vastly, vastly overestimates how interesting recycling is as a topic of conversation.
Posted by Kevin | September 30, 2010 12:15 PM
Hi, Billy Mays here for "Not so functional umbrella" Are you a hippy like this lady? Are you afraid of the sun? Do you have long gray hair? Then you need "Not so functional umbrella" to really show everyone who you are.
http://www.portlandonline.com/bps/index.cfm?a=314967&c=53234
Posted by Billy Mays | September 30, 2010 12:22 PM
Oh my! Did all of the hippies of the 60s & 70s move to Portland? There seems to be a certain pride in non-achievement that I don't understand. God bless as we southerners say.
Posted by Larry Norton | September 30, 2010 1:07 PM
Many years ago I lived on a co-operative farm in Colombia. Food was scarce, potatoes rotted in the field (no truck to take them to market). People and livestock were ill (no doctors or vet care)and at the end of the day I watched the entire mess spiral into the black hole of poorly understood business practices and social disarray. Problem was, these folks simply couldn't backstop their "sustainable" lifestyle with a quick trip to New Seasons. Yes, the profiles of Portland greenies are certainly a load of crap.
Posted by Dean | September 30, 2010 1:07 PM
John Benton
Unless of course i have 11,000 rounds, then I just might
Posted by mp97303 | September 30, 2010 1:15 PM
I'm laughing. It's impossible not to.
Posted by dg | September 30, 2010 1:19 PM
Under the guise of bikes and vegatables I am sneeking in a small vicotry for the people.
Expanded off-road bike use will not be allowed in Forest Park. That park is precious. I know of no similar park. Bikes tear it up and ruin the lives of animals who live there.
Now, if we can rouse the bums...Imagine, an open air latrine free park. The hills do have eyes.
Posted by Larry | September 30, 2010 1:19 PM
I'll guarantee this: if Portland were hit with the sort of catastrophic earthquake or volcanic eruption that the area has had in the recent past, you'll see a lot of changes. I fully expect, for instance, to see a lot of the holier-than-thou vegans espousing the merits of long pig if FEMA is as incompetent in a Portland disaster as it was in New Orleans. (If all else fails, make absolutely sure that wireless Internet access is available throughout any such disaster, just so everyone can blog about it.)
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | September 30, 2010 1:45 PM
This makes me want to buy a Hummer and take a 30 minute shower. Pretty sure I'll let the water run down the drain, too.
Posted by ER | September 30, 2010 1:56 PM
I compost my vegan neighbors.
Posted by Mike | September 30, 2010 2:15 PM
"We share our lawn mower, pressure washer and large outdoor equipment with our neighbors. Not only is this good for the environment..."
Gotta love statements like this! Sharing with neighbors is great, but one lawnmower shared by two families does not mean 1/2 the total use of the mower. Duh! Same amount of time spent spewing evil poisonous gasses and blackening the lungs of mother earth. (sarcasm alert). Lucky neighbors, though. You buy, they use.
Posted by PDXLifer | September 30, 2010 3:08 PM
hey JB , with that much ammo I recommend supplementing your diet with all those poodles and other yappy dogs in PDX.
Jeebus man , that is an obscene amount of death you keep in your home.
Posted by billb | September 30, 2010 3:23 PM
Where in the hell do you find a yard big enough for a decent size garden in Portland? I thought that stuff was against the law!
Posted by Bluecollar Libertarian | September 30, 2010 4:05 PM
Wow. This blog is full of fun gun facts. Is all the ammo left over from the great rapture of the millennium?
The Oregon rain sprouts hippies and a lovely supply of escargot...
Posted by NoPo Jule | September 30, 2010 4:07 PM
I'm going to a "Naked Lady" party with Kelly from Woodstock. Anybody else wanna join?
Posted by PD | September 30, 2010 4:46 PM
Honestly, think the marketers should find out what kind of coffee he had in the stainless travel mug and re-purpose the video as a commercial. "Our coffee is so strong and psycho-active that it can turn you into a Portlander!"
Posted by Cozmic Eddie | September 30, 2010 4:50 PM
PD,
I'm not committing myself until she posts a picture.
Posted by PDXLifer | September 30, 2010 5:24 PM
I like the story about sharing the power washer. I guess they never heard of a scrub brush and elbow grease.
Posted by Bluecollar Libertarian | September 30, 2010 8:17 PM
billb - my vote is to leave dogs alone and shoot any cats that stray onto private property and use anything they like as litter boxes... just saying...
Posted by LucsAdvo | September 30, 2010 9:43 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c
Posted by Cabbie | September 30, 2010 9:48 PM