This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 3, 2010 12:29 PM. The previous post in this blog was Another reason to vote for Dan Saltzman. The next post in this blog is Oh, really? You don't say!. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

E-mail, Feeds, 'n' Stuff

Monday, May 3, 2010

Burkholder denounces Times Square car bomb

Portland Metro president candidate Rex Burkholder held a press conference this morning to condemn the attempted detonation of a large bomb inside an SUV in Times Square in New York over the weekend. "This near-tragedy shows the consequences of our dependence on foreign energy sources," Burkholder said. "In this era of peak oil, we need to wean ourselves from fossil fuels. An attack on Times Square is an attack on all of us, and it's particularly offensive in that it was done with a Nissan Pathfinder. Terrorists should realize the enormous benefits that come from use of alternative modes of transportation, such as bicycles. In this case, cycling would have saved on fuel costs and tolls, had virtually zero carbon footprint, and would have had numerous health benefits for the rider."

Burkholder noted that there are now bike lanes near Times Square that could have been employed for the bomber's mission. "In this era of climate change, economic uncertainty, and over-dependence on foreign oil," he told reporters, "we have to plan for and create viable transportation options."

Comments (25)

Is this what he had in mind?

OMG! He's delusional to reality!!!!!

He is actually advocating terrorist attacks using bikes?

Nobody can be this dumb, can they?

It's a joke! It's a joke!

Man -- second one today...

I've got nothing...I'm laughing too hard.

You missed the press conference where he wanted to run bike lanes thru graveyards so he could raise the dead.

Why do I get the feeling that Portland is slowing slding back into the stone age? At least we will buy locally from other cave dwellers.

You see, bikes are the solution for everything!*

*now fights terrorism

It would have been much more palatable had the bomb maker used a Ford Flex.

Jack, when you say "It's a joke!" do you mean a) it didn't really happen and you just made it up; b) he was kidding when he said it; or c) all we can do is sadly laugh when confronted with such a total disconnect to reality?


The last time someone in government here acted that irrationally it was Judge Shirley Fields and she had a massive brain tumor.

I can't believe how irrationally and crazed these bike zealots are about 19th century transportation technology. It's like a cult really. When is someone going to start the horse and carriage movement here in Portland???? It'll be looked upon weirdly in the beginning, but in 15 years, our mayor will be a jockey. I mean come on, you don't have to manufacture a horse in a Chinese factory that exploits workers and is an environmental disaster. Horses aren't made of metals we raped the land to mine! Get your heads out of the sand Portland, let's be really green. Besides, we can compost the horse crap. It could be a city financed system to have horse crap removal carts.

Heh. Nice one!

In all seriousness, though, I'm surprised terrorists haven't used bike bombers yet. Sure, they couldn't carry the same payload as a car bomber, but think how easy it would be to travel swiftly with minimal suspicion into pedestrian-filled open spaces and then back out with both police on foot and in cars unable to pursue. With Western cities falling all over themselves to become biking meccas, I shudder to think of terrorists (and common criminals, for that matter) learning to use the ever-expanding networks of bike paths and bike boulevards and bike-friendly road rules to spread their mayhem.

Does Rex ride? or is the spandex and top-of-the-line bike just for photo-ops like with Mayor Creepy who more famously displayed a preference for full-size V8 demolition derby pickup trucks...

Saturday night I was a few blocks away from that house in SE that was severely vandalized and was a bit suspicious when larger than usual groups of rowdy cyclists and pedestrians seemed to be streaming in that direction.

They're already using bicycles... no registrations, no licenses, highly mobile, can go places where vehicles can't and can outrun pedestrians.

That this parody is so believable, speaks volumes about Rex.


You had me going! JK has it right on!

Jack, please remove the hook from my mouth. I was sure this was the real.

Are you sure the Mayor didn't actually tweet this very same thing?

Had to check the calendar - it is May, isn't it?

Just think of all the nifty plastic explosives one could stuff into the tubing on a bike!

Jack, you got me good as evidenced by my post above. But that tells you how disillusioned I am with this town's management and what I believe to be the actual levels of intelligence as a collective whole of the lot. This brilliant blog of yours regarding Mr. Burkholder would not have surprised me if it were true. Especially in light of the television ads he is presently running!

That's a joke right?

Jack, you could easily substitute Bob Stacey for Rex in your "news release". I've seen Stacey biking in his shorts a few times. But he'd want to add that CRC should be only 4 lanes wide since we'll have 75% bike and mass transit ridership by 2025.

"This near-tragedy shows the consequences of failing to make the Bush tax cuts permanent," ___________ said.

Screw Big Oil.

MINE, BABY MINE!! We need all the coal we can get to feed into Boardman to power all those light rail and streetcar trains that'll criss-cross the entire Portland metro area!

For some reason, I'm reminded when former Dallas mayor Annette Strauss decided to stop city business for an important sanction. See, she'd heard the weekend before of a press release from Donald Wildmon, claiming that an episode of "The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse" showed Mighty Mouse snorting cocaine. Annette, who never let two whole thoughts into her tiny brain, decided that the City Council needed to write a letter denouncing this and send it to Walt Disney Studios posthaste. Annette not only didn't know that Disney was responsible for Mickey Mouse, but when called on it, said "So?"

Clicky Web Analytics