In the recent TriMet board meeting the board was given a WES update and notice of it's one year of successful operation.

They were handed a printed version of this

http://trimet.org/news/releases/jan27-wes.htm

which has no cost of opration or ridership numbers and no member of the TriMet board had any questions.

If the appointed board doesn't have any questions about WES then what would they have questions about?

If they never have any questions about anything that must be why they get appointed.

Every one should be replaced.

Breathes there citizens, with soul so dead,
Who never to themselves hath said,
We need an efficient mass transit!
Whose lungs hath ne'er within them burn'd,
As home home their SUVs hath turn'd,
From suburban wasteland boulevards!
If such there wheeze, go, mark them well;
For them no Minstrel raptures swell;
Low though their taxes, proud their name,
Boundless their wealth as wish can claim;
Despite those titles, power, and pelf,
The wretches, concentred all in self,
Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
And, doubly dying, shall go down
To the vile dust, from whence they sprung,
Unwept, unhonor'd, and unsung.

Apologies to Sir Wlter Scott

A reader writes:

I'm not a fan of poetry. However, there was one poem on TriMet buses a few years ago that I thought was good. It was called, Teaching the Ape to Write Poems.

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/20369

I drive
Because I am
Not TriMet

Is that haiku?

No, but it's deep.

Stranded During the Commute on a Snowy Evening

Whose plan this is I think I know.
They're on the City Council, though;
They will not see me stranded here
To watch this road fill up with snow.

My little car must think it queer
To stop without an exit near
Between the zoo and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

I give my frozen feet a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The snow is unplowed, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

New Bus Mall shelters
Glow like the Las Vegas strip
They keep out no rain

Hark! Street kids rejoice!
We've make crime convenient.
Escape By Streetcar!

What the hell is that?
I think he's masturbating!
God, I hate the bus.

What's with the scissors?
Just a little off the top.
Mobile barbershop.

Stay behind the line -
New breed of Tri-Met drivers
Oddly violent

Gateway transit stop
Is en route to PDX?
This route makes no sense.

They've stolen a lane
From the busy downtown streets
Why can't I turn right?

It's time I confess
The sign on the roof was right
Indeed, "F" the tram.

On the MAX I ride
fearful for my life, I am
burning smell of pee

WES -- mass transit -- serves too few.

At great expense, bankruptcy too.

Shelter that leaves me cold and wet.

The homeless kids all bring a pet.

Frequency declines each year.

Unlike the bums, who stink of beer.

With fare increases, I'll bike or drive.

Pay to park, and stay alive.

We were very tired, things were very lax -
We had gone back and forth all night on the Max.
It was bare and bright, and smelled like a stable­
'Cuz a bum had only held it as long as he was able,

We were very tired, things were very lax,
We had gone back and forth all night on the Max.
We hailed, "Good morrow, tweaker!" to a sore-covered head,
And stole a morning paper, which neither of us read;
And he wept, "God bless you!" for the downers and the meth,
And we pushed a feeble senior out the door to his death.

(w/ apologies to Edna St. Vincent Millay)

Tri-Met loves light rail
Sorry if your bus got cut
Just move and take WES

Ben - how revealing that press release was. My favorite part:
"Riders said the best feature was the fast travel time, followed by the comfortable ride and friendly staff. The trip along the 14.7-mile route between Beaverton and Wilsonville takes 27 minutes."

I'm a bit weak in math, but isn't that about 30 miles per hour? Doesn't it usually take about 10-15 minutes to go from Bvtn to Wlsnvl? (Maybe a little longer during rush hour, but surely not 1/2 hour.)

"I cost a lot more
But the buses are faster,"
WES sighed. "Sorry."

When you’re a WES,
You’re a WES all the way
From your first budget issue
To your last rider of the day

When you’re a WES
If the trains lack riders
You’ve got Tri-Met around
To out fib all other liars

You’re always on track
You’re never gonna worry
Killing bus routes makes up the slack
Let em ride a surrey
They can’t be in a hurry

When you’re a WES,
You stay a MESS

Apologies to Sondheim and Bernstein for that last post

It was a mistake
rockwood I had disembarked
now I'm fed by tube

Twenty-some years ago I lived for a year+ in Chicago and spent a lot of time on El trains. I somehow memorized a poem that was on a placard on the walls of one of them. Interestingly, a poem about memories.

In cities there's a lot of time spent alone in crowds. The little flips or blips of literature are a nice use of public space.

Ironic cliche:
At TriMet, common sense gets
Thrown under the bus

Ah, I long for czechoslovaki-ay,
where underground, bus, and tram,
zoom and hum and clack away
with the singular aim...
of getting citizenz to point B,
from point A,
in the quickest possible way.

I went to kafka's grave,
I said a prayer, for everyone who died, and for everyone who lived.
Then I hopped the underground,
admiring it so swiftly on its way.

Too bad the good parts of communism paled
by comparison to its failures.

In the meantime, in Portland,
where we are so clever,
bus routes shrink,
the max stinks
and public transit takes forever.

Stupid train
promoted by fools
but I pay