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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on September 18, 2006 4:42 PM. The previous post in this blog was He's for the skools. The next post in this blog is And now, the filthy lucre. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Monday, September 18, 2006

This just in

A reader sends along this news bulletin:

NEW YORK -- A public-school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

Comments (5)

Math majors love math jokes!

I'm still waiting for these guys to be hauled off to a secret prison somewhere. (I'm kinda shocked it hasn't already happened.)

Does Al-Gerba present a problem or an Issue?

Well at least he's not onto Al-Gore-rythm
quite yet, but you can sure they'll dance around it when the time comes.
M.W.

While some think their numbers are infinite, others think they are imaginary. We should not let the administration's summations divide us.




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