Thought for the day
I've got a great money-saving idea. Rather than building a $30 million aerial tram, and then spending a million dollars or so each year to operate it, why don't OHSU and the City of Portland buy, say, 100 stretch limousines for $100,000 each (total: $10 million) and drive the rich doctors up and down Pill Hill in them?
For $100,000 a year, I'm sure you could get some great snacks catered in. And Commissioner Sten could get the whole hill hooked up hot for wi fi, with monster laptops in every limo. The docs could read their stock quotes in real time. Once a week, some of foreign residents from the hospital staff could give foot massages in the back seats. Maybe patients could ride along and have their exams en route.
All this and more, with a fleet of drivers, and it would still be cheaper.
And you wouldn't be wrecking anybody's neighborhood.
And you wouldn't be gambling with very expensive, prohibitive-to-insure, unprecedented people-moving technology.
And you wouldn't be building ugly ski-lift towers.
But no.
Comments (14)
Ouch, Jack. That was snarky even for you - keep it up!
Is there any chance b!X could drop off a written copy of your proposal at a City Hall meeting. Seriously. b!X?
Posted by Scott-in-Japan | June 10, 2004 3:30 AM
You're forgetting about the patients. Some of them just might use the tram too. Especially if they can take a streetcar to the lower terminal. Fewer cars on the road to compete with yours.
And the nurses. And the techs. Hey, that's starting to add up to a LOT of people.
And then there are cyclists. Not all of us cyclists have abs of steel. A tram to take us up from Macadam to Pill Hill (and then on to the Terwilliger Parkway route) would encourage more of us to take the cycling plunge. And that means less money in the House of Saud's (and Halliburton's) pocket.
As for "wrecking a neighborhood" losing the ability to sunbathe nude in your backyard, or on your roof, without gawkers, doesn't qualify as "wrecking the neighborhood" as far as I'm concerned. I certainly wouldn't mind living under the tram. But living near the I-5 noise machine, as many in that neighborhood do would be a major bummer. That doesn't change, tram or no tram.
I won't speak to the technology, since I'm not an engineer. As for the "ski tower," one man's Picasso is another man's POS.
Posted by Gordo | June 10, 2004 9:17 AM
A couple of years ago I was in a graduate transportation planning course at PSU. One of my classmates worked for Commisioner Sten and his course project was an analysis of the tram. He compared the tram to running shuttle buses from North Macadam to the Hill. Not only were the shuttle buses far less expensive, they could actually move more people (or the same number of people more quickly).
Not exactly rocket science, but didn't someone say something once about the elegance of simple solutions?
Posted by Brian | June 10, 2004 10:06 AM
Brian's right. This is why God made the Number 8 bus.
Posted by justaguy | June 10, 2004 11:17 AM
Is the tram designed primarily to transport doctors? Are most OHSU doctors rich? How do their salaries compare with those of our local "public servants?" And how do the contributions compare?
(I don't support a public subsidy of the tram, either, though I am not unalterably opposed to it in concept. I do believe OHSU has a workforce in the neighborhood of 10,000. It has been cut, I think, by the OHP cuts. OHP, Medicare, et al are surely the largest subsidizers of the medical industry. The public subsidy will grow when a single payer plan is instituted that leaves the insurance company part of this expensive American medical equation intact. And I venture to wager that is a "when," not an "if.")
Posted by Sally | June 10, 2004 12:06 PM
I made a similar suggestion during consideration of the Marquam Hill Plan at the Planning Commission. My concept was a fleet of Flexcar Ferraris. That would also have been cheaper and more efficient than the tram, plus shuttles or flexcars would get doctors and patients from many buildings to many others, rather than from one tram landing to the other. All the analysis showed the tram is hugely more expensive than the transportation benefits it would provide.
But the tram isn't primarily for transportation. It's a gimmick, a mega-billboard, a huge advertisement for OHSU and the investors in North Macadam. It is, and always has been, indefensible in terms of cost-effective transportation.
Posted by Amanda | June 10, 2004 4:05 PM
1) This discussion is mired in misunderstanding of the geography of pill hill. How does one get to pill hill on the bus from N. Macadam? You can go downtown on the 35, then take the 8 up to OHSU. I think that's the only way. It takes like 40 minutes if you time it perfectly. If you dedicated a line that didn't hit downtown, it would still wind through the neighborhoods in close-in southwest or up Terwilliger. If you wonder how much of a painfully slow ride that would be, ride the 40 sometime through Corbett. The narrow roads, going through the Ross Island backup, etc. None of the studies that conclude how busses would be cheaper than the tram even mention this qualitative difference in tram v. bus travel.
2) Also, can we really trust residents of LIAR HILL? No! They're all liars! That's why God is making the Tram - to punish them for their community of lies.
3) It ought to be called BITCHY HILL. Look at real estate prices in Telluride, Vail, Breckenridge, and Steamboat. Those properties adjacent to the Gondola route, even if they are not slopeside, command big premiums, probably because a gondy view invokes warm feelings of ski community. Something similar will happen in Portland. I'll bet anyone a billion dollars that properties right under the tram will appreciate big time.
4) Finally, let's call this for what it really is: EASTSIDAS v. WESTSIDAS. You eastsidas are jealous of our tram. Your dumbass boring covered reservoir idea went sideways, so you want to bring down our exciting tram. No way holmes!
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Posted by ganjdola | June 10, 2004 7:17 PM
40 mins to OHSU?? Depends on where you live, Gonjola. I lived dowtown (14th & taylor) for years and took the #8 bus up to the hill. If I remember correctly, it took about 15 minutes.
Posted by Lily | June 11, 2004 1:14 AM
You're missing one thing, Jack. The tram has saved a half million already. They were going to call it the "Goldschmidt Memorial Tram". Now that he's hiding in disgrace, they don't have to pay him the royalty.
Posted by Dave Lister | June 11, 2004 9:12 AM
Since I read the Randy Gregg article "gushing" about what an unprecedented engineering marvel the tram will be... I have a new one word proposal for another unprecedented engineering marvel:
"JETPACKS"
Just think of the tourist value of watching doctors and nurses jetpacking up and down Pill Hill. Plus Jetpacks have the ability (unlike the tram) to go anywhere! Need to go downtown to secure some more boondoggle funding from the PDC (now located in the Pearl District) It's probably a 45 second ride---whooooosh! funding secured!
Posted by Mike D | June 11, 2004 1:15 PM
For $40 million, you would think they could invent Land- Speeders. You know, Luke Skywalker's floating car in the first Star Wars. Or maybe a transporter...but that's probably a $50-million option.
In the meantime, I vote for the jet-packs!
Posted by Scott-in-Japan | June 11, 2004 2:25 PM
Well, these are all terrific ideas... and ones those pointy-headed transportation engineers would never have come up with.
One problem, though: in every case, you'd still have to face the biggest problem. That is, whatever you try, there will be the "anything the government does is inept" crowd to pacify.
Whether it's jetpacks or trams or buses, there's always some tortured connection to be made to Neil Goldschmidt, or Vera Katz, or maybe Enron, and then the irate and ignorant bloggers of the world will throw around a half-dozen non-linear arguments against it, drag in some references to major league baseball and Ater Wynn, plus maybe some black helicopters, and reach the inescapable conclusion that it's all a scam intended to steal from taxpayers.
Thanks for the thoughtful analysis of this important public issue, Jack.
Posted by jj | June 12, 2004 8:58 AM
In this case, the connection to NG and Vera is far from "tortured." NG was paid many tens of thousands of dollars by Homer Williams and probably others to use his influence to push this project through. And believe me, Vera Katz does what she's told by NG -- or at least she did until recently. If you want "thoughtful analysis" of the kind you want, maybe you should try The Oregonian.
Posted by Jack Bog | June 12, 2004 10:58 AM
Now the NG isn't calling the shots (or at least as overtly), who is going to run this town?
Posted by Scott-in-Japan | June 12, 2004 5:10 PM