One of the indignities you bring on yourself by driving under the influence is the social stigma that comes when you get arrested for it. Nowadays, your booking photo gets plastered all over the internet, everybody gets to tsk-tsk you, and you'll get the stink eye from your employer, if you still have one.

That is, unless you're a Portland policeman. When these guys go down for DUI -- and it happens with disturbing frequency -- their buddies in law enforcement keep it as low as possible. In the wee small hours of Sunday morning a Portland detective named Darrell Miller reportedly got popped for DUI in Clackamas County up on Mount Hood. And Miller's mugshot is -- where? Nowhere, because they didn't even properly book him:

Phillips said Miller was not booked into jail largely because the incident occurred on Mount Hood, a good distance from the Clackamas County Jail. Miller is scheduled to appear in Clackamas County Circuit Court on Feb. 26.

Who drove him home? Next we'll hear that he "only" blew a .09, which is just a little over the legal limit, and so we ought to cut him some slack. Tell that to the many .09-ers who have gone through the whole rigmarole.

Is there still a Mothers Against Drunk Driving? They need to get active again in Portlandia.

A free bojack bumper sticker to the first person who can come up with the web address of any photo of Detective Miller, anywhere. Meanwhile, he's on telephone reporting detail -- where the bad cops all get sent until the media attention dies down. It's crowded in there.