You have to laugh at this one, to keep from crying: Portland's toothless citizen advisory board for utilities is a little miffed that before they left city government in tatters, the Sam Rand Twins never got around to drafting new guidelines on how water and sewer revenues should be spent:

During the 2011 work session, the mayor informed the PURB that a process was in place to develop utility expenditure rate criteria. The OMF (Office of Management and Finance) was to develop the criteria which were then to be reviewed by City Council and the PURB. To date, no such criteria have been written. Over the last year, the city was also sued for its use of ratepayer funds in ways not directly linked to the delivery of water and sewer services. The PURB continues to be concerned over the city’s use of ratepayer dollars to fund projects that are not directly linked to the delivery of utility services.

You may remember the Twins' unwritten guidelines: "We'll spend it however we want, whether it's legal or not, and the other three bobbleheads on the City Council won't dare lift a finger to stop us." Those were recently put on hold. To paraphrase Hillary Clinton, it takes a lawsuit.

City budget officials say they are continuing to work on the criteria and plan to present the new guidelines during the upcoming budget process.

Yes, Commissioner Guffman is in charge.