Portland mayoral candidate Char-Lie Hales probably couldn't give you the time of day without misleading you at least a little. His pledge to limit campaign contributions to $600 per donee turns out to be ludicrous, in that he'll take $600 from a donor, then $600 from each of that donor's relatives, another $600 from each of the same donor's fictional business entities, and so on, ad infinitum.

Adding to the hilarity is the identity of a prominent donor who is playing this game with Hales. It's none other than Dike Dame, who with his buddy Homer Williams have siphoned off millions of dollars from the City of Portland treasury for their private development projects, culminating in the utterly failed South Waterfront (SoWhat) District and the embarrassing aerial tram [rim shot] to Pill Hill.

Williams, as you may recall, was on stage in the limelight with Hales the night of the primary election. You could almost see Williams's lips move as Char-Lie spoke. Dame was reportedly convicted in 1988 of bank fraud. You would think that a fellow like Hales might not take campaign contributions from such a source, much less several contributions all chopped up into convenient $600 bundles. But that's Hales. When you vote for him, you vote to send your money to Homer and Dike. Go by streetcar!