Or privatize the park... this is a simple scenario offering another example of how little government cares about it's property. Just think how much they care about yours.
Memo to City Workers: In a recent story about dog poop in the Oregonian, the Park Bureau's Ali Ryan said, "From a practical standpoint, I’m not sure it’s going to work." In the future when talking about South Waterfront, please refrain from obvious laugh lines like this. It just makes us - and this whole project - look even more ridiculous.
From a practical standpoint? We don't want our projects connected to that kind of crazy talk, okay? And then to add, "I'm not sure it's going to work"? That's not the tone we want either. A better way to phrase it would be, "This will work and become a vital linchpin between the dog's butt and the ground." Thank you but watch it from now on. --Mayor Sam.
P.S. I'm rethinking my commitment to bicyclists after the accident the other day. Not funny.
This is the kind of story that suggests banning dogs altogether. (Except for the kind that get all trained up to, say, take a chunk out of the leg of Osama Bin Laden's
fifth sex-and-the-kitchen slave. You know, the one that got inaugurated in her teens, and whose daughter Osama named Safiya, after the Mohammedan loyalist spy who specialized in trapping Jews.)
Navy Seal dogs remind me of what truly great animals dogs are, even when compared to their towering overlords, the czats.
Sounds about right. Out here, we have more and more people putting big signs up in parks and front yards reading "CHILDREN PLAY HERE" and take photos of offenders refusing to clean up after their dogs. Nothing else seems to keep the yups from assuming that, like everything in their lives, the Little People will clean up after them after they're finished playing.
And as you read this, keep in mind that our city council has resolved to ban plastic bags in 2012. Whatever you think about plastic bags, they are awfully convenient for picking up after dogs. I have yet to find a single soul who prefers paper bags as an alternative.
Here's the cure. Hire a dozen seasonal rangers at $10.00 per hour, no benefits. Have them cite people for $150.00 for pooping and off leash.
Do not give breaks if they contest the fine with the arbitrator.
A version of this method was beginning to have practical effect a short while past. The new administrator is from a social work background and believes that the best action to take is to counsel off-leash and pooping dog owners.
Why don't we create a dog DNA registry in Portland and then just test samples for the DNA of the dog that deposited them? That way, you don't have to see the "crime" being committed.
This problem is so not limited to SoWa. It's everywhere in this "dog-friendly" city. Dog owners demand and expect all sorts of favorable treatment but when it comes to cleaning up their kids' s*%!, forget it. Even Paris has cracked down. OK, so if higher fines won't work, what exactly will?
Pistolero is correct. Private owners are better stewards of their property than the government will ever be regarding communally owned property. Can you imagine the SoWa condo owners policing their neighbors - ratting the dog poop renegades out to the condo board? Condo owners taking photos of each pooch doing their thing while dog owners looked the other way? Too funny, but it would work better than any hired gun.
While this doesn't preclude the need for publicly owned spaces, there are distinct advantages of leaving land in privately held hands. For more on the value of self interest and environmentalism, check out PERC (Property and Environment Research Center) at http://www.perc.org.
I don't think I would let my dog poop OR my kids play any place close to Sowhat.
I remember what used to be there! Just walking around down there could seriously contaminate you.
Comments (13)
Are they sure it's coming from dogs?
Posted by Snards | June 10, 2011 12:32 PM
Or privatize the park... this is a simple scenario offering another example of how little government cares about it's property. Just think how much they care about yours.
Posted by Pistolero | June 10, 2011 12:42 PM
Adorable kids. They remind me of the ones in "Village of the Damned"
Posted by Tom | June 10, 2011 12:51 PM
Memo to City Workers: In a recent story about dog poop in the Oregonian, the Park Bureau's Ali Ryan said, "From a practical standpoint, I’m not sure it’s going to work." In the future when talking about South Waterfront, please refrain from obvious laugh lines like this. It just makes us - and this whole project - look even more ridiculous.
From a practical standpoint? We don't want our projects connected to that kind of crazy talk, okay? And then to add, "I'm not sure it's going to work"? That's not the tone we want either. A better way to phrase it would be, "This will work and become a vital linchpin between the dog's butt and the ground." Thank you but watch it from now on. --Mayor Sam.
P.S. I'm rethinking my commitment to bicyclists after the accident the other day. Not funny.
Posted by Bill McDonald | June 10, 2011 1:23 PM
This is the kind of story that suggests banning dogs altogether. (Except for the kind that get all trained up to, say, take a chunk out of the leg of Osama Bin Laden's
fifth sex-and-the-kitchen slave. You know, the one that got inaugurated in her teens, and whose daughter Osama named Safiya, after the Mohammedan loyalist spy who specialized in trapping Jews.)
Navy Seal dogs remind me of what truly great animals dogs are, even when compared to their towering overlords, the czats.
Posted by gaye harris | June 10, 2011 1:49 PM
Sounds about right. Out here, we have more and more people putting big signs up in parks and front yards reading "CHILDREN PLAY HERE" and take photos of offenders refusing to clean up after their dogs. Nothing else seems to keep the yups from assuming that, like everything in their lives, the Little People will clean up after them after they're finished playing.
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | June 10, 2011 2:30 PM
And as you read this, keep in mind that our city council has resolved to ban plastic bags in 2012. Whatever you think about plastic bags, they are awfully convenient for picking up after dogs. I have yet to find a single soul who prefers paper bags as an alternative.
Posted by Dave J. | June 10, 2011 3:40 PM
Here's the cure. Hire a dozen seasonal rangers at $10.00 per hour, no benefits. Have them cite people for $150.00 for pooping and off leash.
Do not give breaks if they contest the fine with the arbitrator.
A version of this method was beginning to have practical effect a short while past. The new administrator is from a social work background and believes that the best action to take is to counsel off-leash and pooping dog owners.
Good way to keep turds in the street.
Posted by LL | June 10, 2011 3:45 PM
Why don't we create a dog DNA registry in Portland and then just test samples for the DNA of the dog that deposited them? That way, you don't have to see the "crime" being committed.
Posted by Dave J. | June 10, 2011 3:52 PM
This problem is so not limited to SoWa. It's everywhere in this "dog-friendly" city. Dog owners demand and expect all sorts of favorable treatment but when it comes to cleaning up their kids' s*%!, forget it. Even Paris has cracked down. OK, so if higher fines won't work, what exactly will?
Posted by Dominic | June 10, 2011 4:39 PM
Pistolero is correct. Private owners are better stewards of their property than the government will ever be regarding communally owned property. Can you imagine the SoWa condo owners policing their neighbors - ratting the dog poop renegades out to the condo board? Condo owners taking photos of each pooch doing their thing while dog owners looked the other way? Too funny, but it would work better than any hired gun.
While this doesn't preclude the need for publicly owned spaces, there are distinct advantages of leaving land in privately held hands. For more on the value of self interest and environmentalism, check out PERC (Property and Environment Research Center) at http://www.perc.org.
Posted by Nolo | June 10, 2011 6:23 PM
I don't think I would let my dog poop OR my kids play any place close to Sowhat.
I remember what used to be there! Just walking around down there could seriously contaminate you.
Posted by portland native | June 11, 2011 7:54 AM
Portland is more like Paris every day.
Posted by k2 | June 11, 2011 9:18 AM