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Friday, February 25, 2011

Admiral Randy's shopping for two new fireboats

The $400,000 rescue boat that the City of Portland just purchased has merely whetted the appetite of the fire commissioner. Now he's going to replace two of the city's fireboats. But not just any old replacements -- these are going to be custom-designed, no doubt with heavy input from the Loomaster himself (patent pending). Only the best for this man's Navy.

Comments (24)

The City-at-the-Center-of-the-Universe must have the best of everything, you know.

Can we put a bird on it?

It just never ever ends. Living in Portland is starting to feel like getting kicked in the nuts every single day.

Let me guess, we'll have to vote on some bonds to pay for these things? What am I thinking, of course we won't get a vote on this.

Go by gold plated fire boat!

Let's see...custom designed! That will at least double the cost!
A new liars budget for you Jack!
And no doubt these boats will have to be built some place like...Germany! Even though there is at least one quailfied builder right here in Portland.
I can't wait to see what the fix really is.

And they just conned us into a property tax increase for firetrucks.

BTW a quick google check for "fire and rescue boats for sale" yields a wealth of information.
There are many used options available that would probably be just fine.
But as you mentioned,"only the best for this man's Navy".
And what in blazes does the fireman or anyone in his office really know about boats anyway??? How could any of them possibly make a reasoned or informed decision?

Hold On!! Is it possible that with all the density built in SoWhat, etc and much more yet planned for the future, that this may be an insurance requirement? We may not have or will not have adequate coverage.

Might it be too expensive for selling those condos? What is the coverage for fire insurance now? How does density affect the rates? Some communities that do not have excellent coverage have to pay more for insurance, as I understand it. Would be interesting if someone here has information on that?

I'll pay for a one-man sub so he can inspect the "inner workings" of the big pipe.

Wait, let me rephrase that...

I guess that would be Sam's job.

Wait, let me rephrase that...

Am I the only person who reads this and suddenly hears the Sex Pistols' cover of the old shanty song "Friggin' in the Riggin'"? The verses about the cabin boy Vicker might apply to the city of Portland more than anybody thought...

"Is it possible that with all the density built in SoWhat, etc and much more yet planned for the future"

Maybe from his perch in City Hall, Randy can just foresee the day when the river will be the only remaining functional transportation route. The streets will be clogged with unemployed 19-year-old biking nowhere to do nothing.

He had better hope that Mayor Binghamton doesn't find out about all of this.

They won't be biking 'nowhere'. They'll be biking around scavenging for dropped coins and cig butts.

Mr. Grumpy and Snards,

Apparently many were lured in here by PR marketing sustainability...wonder how long it will take them to find out how sustainability is more of a word here than reality.

Mayor and Randy can just go North to Alaska per my suggestion a few weeks ago for their RandSam Company. Have a feeling they would prefer to take their pensions to an island drinking margaritas. Where will the rest of us go when we are taxed and pick pocketed out of here?

tommyspoon Can we put a bird on it?

No, but you can always flip the bird at "The Admiral" as it floats on by.

Water transport is generally the most energy efficient mode of transportation - even more efficient than the streetcar. (If you row the boat yourself, it's more efficient than bicycling. If you put a sail on it, it's free, no pollution wind power.)

So why not create a new water taxi system in which the boats would double as fire-boats? We could be the Venice of America...since the whole Amsterdam thing is a big flop, we don't want to be like London (they pride themselves on their buses, after all), we can't be like Paris (Seattle beat us to that with their Space Needle)...I guess we could be like Berlin, and put a huge wall around Portland to keep them out from those nasty capitalist communities like Beaverton and Gresham and Lake Oswego under the guise of protection.

Then we could take it a step further and restore Guilds Lake. Sure, we'd have to destroy a lot of buildings, but it'd be the ultimate in restoring the environment prior to man's influence - building Portland on top of lakes.

We could be the Venice of America...

Works for me...

...since we're already sinking into the
sea of debt these geniuses have run up.

Send in the pigeons...

...don't bother, they're here.

We could be the Venison of America - you know the old deer in the headlights bit!

These boats are going to be regional assets!

Has anyone at City Hall determined what percentage of river rescue victims in Portland were actually on their way to or from Clackamas County?

A $20 boat registration fee add-on for Clackamites would pay for a lot of marine grade bio-diesel.

And the shakedown continues....

And if the boats spend any amount of time in the Columbia River, there's a sure way to sucker Vancouver and Clark County into paying for it whether they want to or not.

Well, at least we knwo why Randy told Sam to take over the river crew, so he could blow money on this.

The boat really needs neon to get the final Randy touch.

Please tell me someone somewhere can stop this pair in 2012.

Might get some other city to invite the duo in to "implement plans" - however, if they read Jack's blog,...they may not get a job elsewhere, so we may have to start praising them. The irony!

Are the customizations vital or are they of importance to the operation of the fire boat? Will they become more effective rescue machines with all the customizations? Customizations mean extra cost.

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