Name the SoWhat immigration detainee tank
Portland's a great town for its processes in naming public facilities. And so we might as well start thinking about what to call the new federal immigration agency complex about to be installed in the already troubled SoWhat district. It's going to be a place where an undisclosed number of federal detainees sit behind bars awaiting deportation hearings -- but we're not supposed to call it a "jail" because the people in handcuffs won't be there for more than 12 hours at a time, supposedly. The heavy armed-guard presence and double fence might send a different message, however.
Anyway, what should the place be called? And just to get the low-hanging fruit out of the way, we've already got enough stuff in Portland named after César Chávez. In keeping with the federal criminal justice aspect of the place, and the notorious location, the Dike Dame Federal Holding Facility might have a nice ring.
| Posted at 7:48 AM | Permalink |
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Comments (27)
The Vera Katz Memorial Waterfront Community Center
The Homer Williams Bed and Breakfast
I Don't Have a Passport, SoWhat? Detention Facility
Location #16 on the Portland Streetcar Tour of Homes
Posted by the other white meat | August 9, 2010 8:12 AM
"It's going to be a place where an undisclosed number of federal detainees sit behind bars awaiting deportation hearings"
The Sam Adams Re-Education and Voter Recruitment Center.
Free postage included.
Posted by Steve | August 9, 2010 8:27 AM
"The Sam Adams Re-Education and Voter Recruitment Center" seems a little long. It could hurt T-shirt sales in the gift shop.
If you want to commemorate Mayor Adams, name it "Stalag 17 Going On 18".
Posted by Bill McDonald | August 9, 2010 8:39 AM
Better:
Stalagmite 17 going on 18.
Posted by Lawrence | August 9, 2010 8:50 AM
the Ice House or better yet, Sam's Living Erogenous Alien Zone. T-shirt sale abound "SLEAZ"
Posted by phil | August 9, 2010 9:07 AM
Club-Fed SoWat.
Posted by Mister Tee | August 9, 2010 9:13 AM
The Lynch Pen?
Posted by Snards | August 9, 2010 9:25 AM
Hoover PDX Tax Dollars for Naught Building
Posted by LucsAdvo | August 9, 2010 9:29 AM
SoWat Park and Ride
Park your butt in jail then ride the bus to Tacoma.
Posted by phil | August 9, 2010 9:38 AM
Chavez makes sense as a name since he opposed illegal immigration...as it undercut the financial success of legitimate immigrants
Posted by lars | August 9, 2010 9:38 AM
Guantanamo Pines Inn.
Posted by genop | August 9, 2010 10:31 AM
Portland Day Labor Center
Posted by Ben | August 9, 2010 10:33 AM
"Cesar Chavez Day Labor Center"
with a tip of the hat to both Ben and lars above.
Posted by Nonny Mouse | August 9, 2010 10:47 AM
LICE - the Lars Larson Immigration and Customs Enforcement Center
Posted by dg | August 9, 2010 11:08 AM
I thought about naming it for Lars. He can probably see it from his studio if the door's open.
Posted by Jack Bog | August 9, 2010 11:10 AM
Abu Ghraib - Portland center
Posted by John Rettig | August 9, 2010 11:57 AM
I'll leave it to Bill McDonald to comment on anything about Lars that might be open.
Posted by umpire | August 9, 2010 12:04 PM
This got me thinking...
Does anyone remember how a former head of Immigration in Portland was moved/demoted (at least as I recall) because he had the temerity to keep, I think, a German woman without a visa from entering the US?
That was pre-9/11 and pre-Arizona...
Posted by PJB | August 9, 2010 12:06 PM
The '57 Buick Boat Ramp.
Posted by Johnny | August 9, 2010 12:15 PM
I vote for LICE.... now that is perfect....
Posted by LucsAdvo | August 9, 2010 12:41 PM
I can imagine him down there like Yosemite Sam waving his guns around at everybody. That is if he doesn't get all NIMBY on it 'cause it's a little too close to home.
Posted by dg | August 9, 2010 12:54 PM
The Thorny Palace.
Posted by JS | August 9, 2010 1:07 PM
Stinking Badges
Mexico Hold'em
Up the River Resort and Detention Center
Posted by ralph woods | August 9, 2010 3:29 PM
Yes,
LICE is definitively the best name! I don't know who this DG guy is but he has a future in advertising! Actually he may need a future if he doesn't get back to work and stop hanging out in this most excellent blog.
Posted by Dean | August 9, 2010 3:43 PM
Hotel Creepy
Posted by ben | August 9, 2010 8:16 PM
The So-Wat movie should be:
"Trams, Tramps and no Automobiles"
Posted by PanchoPDX | August 9, 2010 9:01 PM
Shouldn't that be L'LICE? So culturally specific with the 2 LLs
Posted by portland native | August 10, 2010 1:24 PM