After joining 24-hour Fitness, I came to find that even my straight-laced CPA had a tattoo. Not that I was looking or anything.

Like Austin, Portland is mostly 25- to 44-year-olds

No, it isn't. In fact, Portland's *median* age is just over 35, and the largest percentage of people (by age) is between about 35 and 50. It's another of the classic Portland myths.

but it has more tattoo shops per capita (about 12 per 100,000 people).

So, they determined how many "tattooed" people there are by how many tattoo parlors there are? Wouldn't that be like determining how many auto repairs there are by how many service garages there are? Or how many people there are by how many sidewalks there are?

Considered by "Popular Science" and several other publications to be the country's "Greenest" city,

Ah, yes. See yesterday's post. One publication quotes another publication that found something on the Web that said that somebody said that Portland if "green". So, it must be true, and we're reporting it--though it has nothing to do with tattoos.

Portland is reportedly known for its huge arts and crafts community

Whatever that actually means.

as well as its music-loving residents,

nature-loving hipsters
I'm guessing that they're not clear on the meaning of "hipster".

and collection of rock music icons

Er, what?

most of whom apparently love body art.

Yes, apparently, because totalbeauty.com said so, and I know they heard it form somebody, so it must be true. Post it on the City Council website so we can brag about it.

But the Church of Elvis is now closed...

Wow, just another reason to be "proud" of Portland.

I am hating this town more every day.

Sing-a-long time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxLjUzKhdJM

Me and my brother were talking to each other
'Bout what makes a man a man
Was it brain or brawn, or the month you were born,
We just couldn't understand

Our old man didn't like our appearance
He said that only women wear long hair

So me and my brother borrowed money from Mother
We knew what we had to do
We went downstairs, past the barber and gymnasium
And got our arms tattooed

Welcome to my life, tattoo
I'm a man now, thanks to you
I expect I'll regret you
But the skin graft man won't get you
You'll be there when I die
Tattoo

My dad beat me 'cause mine said "Mother"
But my mother naturally liked it and beat my brother
'Cause his tattoo was of a lady in the nude
And my mother thought that was extremely rude

Welcome to my life, tattoo
We've a long time together, me and you
I expect I'll regret you
But the skin graft man won't get you
You'll be there when I die
Tattoo

Now I'm older, I'm tattooed all over
My wife is tattooed too
A rooty-toot-toot, A rooty-tooty-toot-toot
Rooty-toot-toot tattoo too
To you

But the Church of Elvis is now closed...

Not true! I recently visited it in Old Town, kitty-corner from the Hung Far Low sign location. But as best I could tell, it's strictly automated these days -- no store behind the displays.