Nothing burns money like Fire
Times are tough, folks. State and local government has run out of money, and here in Portland, your essential services are being cut back. Police precincts closing, potholes growing, and no P.E. for little Johnny at school. Water and sewer bills are going through the roof, too. People's morale is down.
Hey, I've got an idea! Let's redecorate fire headquarters!
Portland Fire & Rescue’s headquarters building, located at 55 SW Ash St, was recently remodeled and seismically upgraded. PF&R is fortunate to own many vintage artifacts, photos and ephemera that represent its proud history and traditions. PF&R would like to use some of these items to create an inviting environment in the building’s first and third floor public lobbies.What's that? Well, yes, I know we already have a firefighter museum over on Belmont. And a firefighter memorial over by PGE Park. And we're building another memorial by the Hawthorne Bridge. But hey, you can't get too much of a good thing.
Of course, this is important enough to call for some professional talent, so the first thing we do, let's get right out there and hire a consultant. And heck, this such a great idea, let's not put a dollar amount on the contract -- we'll leave it open-ended.
1. Evaluate the lobby areas for potential interpretive exhibit configurations, visitor access, lighting and other technical concerns."Community partners" -- that's always good. Plus, the Fireman-in-Chief will show you his neon rose sign.2. Review historical photographs, ephemera and artifacts located at the PF&R’ Historic Belmont Firehouse, PF&R’s Logistics warehouse, Portland Archives and/or other Portland area locations and evaluate their possible use as exhibit materials.
3. Work with a group of PF&R staff and community partners to develop a theme for the interpretative exhibits.
4. Work with PF&R staff and community partners to refine the final design.This is gonna be great. Remember, lack of public awareness of fire bureau ephemera threatens Portland's sustainable way of life. It's worse than driving a car! We must do this, for the children.5. Design museum quality interpretive wall, shelf, and freestanding exhibits, and signage, graphics and lighting for the 1st and 3rd floor lobbies at 55 SW Ash St. PF&R artifacts, photos, ephemera and other materials and objects may be used as appropriate in the final design.
6. Fabricate exhibits, signage, graphics and lighting to museum standards.
7. Install interpretive exhibits, signage, graphics and lighting.
A Fire Bureau artifact.
| Posted at 7:36 AM | Permalink |
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Comments (13)
Hey Jack,
Did you know that you are a "registered vendor"?
Posted by portland native | June 30, 2010 8:09 AM
"in Portland, your essential services are being cut back."
I wouldn't equate that with running out of money. We can always find money for bikes, trains and "sustainable" projects.
Posted by Steve | June 30, 2010 8:46 AM
Ha ha! Jack, that's your best photoshopn' since you shivered Paulson & Adams' timbers! Randy's burned (again).
(King Tut)
How'd you get so funky?
(Funky Tut)
They said you do the monkey.
(Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgTPH5y1-ZI
Posted by Mojo | June 30, 2010 8:49 AM
Nice one JB!
Posted by Vance Longwell | June 30, 2010 9:53 AM
Jesus "A" F%&^#$@ Christ are you kidding me. The real artifact is Fireman. He is spending like its 1980
Posted by m | June 30, 2010 10:04 AM
Jack, you don't understand that it's all about the different pots of money.
You see, that pot over there, the one brimming to the rim with rubies and gold dubloons ? The one with the hoses running into it marked "urban renewal" and "sewer money"? Well, that's the "Pot for Bulls**t Vanity Projects".
And this pot over here, which seems to hold a few old nickles and a couple of buttons? That's the "Pot of Essential Services."
Now unfortunately, they just can't mix the pots. There's some law somewhere about that. And the City of Portland would never ever stoop to creative accounting, so there is just no way around it.
Posted by Snards | June 30, 2010 10:11 AM
I'll bet they're doing it under an "Emergency Ordinance" too. Anything Randy wants is an emergency.
Posted by Mister Tee | June 30, 2010 10:13 AM
When you said "neon rose sign", I thought you were going to say "firehose".
Posted by none | June 30, 2010 11:15 AM
Boy the city can't get even this boondoggle right. A fireman's museum should come with Pizza service and salad bar just like Engine House Pizza.
As for commissioner Leonard, this is the same guy who thinks it o.k. to sign a longterm contract for biodiesel for $7 plus per gallon versus regular diesel at about $2 per gallon. The same guy who doesn't see any problem with water and sewer rate increases of over 6% per year for the last decade or more. Nope he wanted to raise them even higher to buy some vacant property we just can't do without. The idea of a low cost emergency option on some similar piece of property just isn't gold plated enough for him.
Posted by Bob Clark | June 30, 2010 11:42 AM
"A Fire Bureau artifact" of Pharaoh Randses Ho-tep?
Posted by Geoffrey Duin | June 30, 2010 12:44 PM
Best photoshop on this blog... evah
Posted by LucsAdvo | June 30, 2010 4:00 PM
Totally hilarious...thanks Jack.
Posted by Denis D. | June 30, 2010 6:54 PM
given all the publicity about Tut's missing penis in the news...we wonder???
Great Photoshop!
Posted by portland native | July 1, 2010 8:19 AM