The missus and I just installed a bidet from USABidet.com (you haven't lived until you hear a deep south accent on the answering machine saying "Thane kyew for calling You Ess Ayyyyy Bidaayyyyyy, . . .).

So far, so good. As promised, there's a dramatic drop in the amount of TP needed to feel safe going out in public. With some experience using the thing, I bet we'll get down to using very little indeed.

Their business card today says "Start your day without the morning paper."

Where do you find this stuff Jack?

My best source of materials is my readers.

As always, the worst satire becomes earnest marketing campaign. Are we allowed to start gelding marketing majors now?

Their theme song could be Wipeout.

TP is basically useless except as a cheap substitute for Kleenex. The new flushable moist wipes are a substantial improvement, but still, I don't understand why bidets aren't standard equipment in all homes and apartments by now.

In unseemly realms, (sure to wipe the smile off any face), words I don't like to hear together: Palin and thinks, where defecation meets The Nation.

Palin critics to publish competing book

The same day that Sarah Palin's memoir "Going Rogue" hits bookshelves, critics of the former Alaskan Gubette will publish an almost identical book attacking her. ... Richard Kim and Betsy Reed, editors of The Nation, will release a collection of essays critical of Palin entitled "Going Rouge: Sarah Palin: An American Nightmare."

Bunch o' bathroom humor, there.