This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on December 19, 2008 5:00 PM. The previous post in this blog was Comments contest winner: Oregbear!. The next post in this blog is Eyewitness snowstorm report!. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Welcome to our Cyber-office Christmas Party

Comments (86)

Don't forget, you can re-start the music up above on the comments page.

And try the artichoke dip!

2-liters, Lemon Lime Talking Rain Sparkling Water:

Calories 0
Total Fat 0
Saturated Fat 0
Trans Fat 0
Cholesterol 0
Sodium 0
Total Carbs 0
Dietary Fiber 0
Sugars 0
Protein 0
Vitamin A 0
Vitamin C 0
Calcium 0
Iron 0

Laphroaig Quarter Cask, quite possibly the same bottle I drank from last year.

Where is everybody?

Is it time yet for the airing of grievances?

airing of grievances

It depends on what they are.

I believe grievances are aired quite often hereabouts, don't you? (hic..urp) Scuse me

I heard that Levi Johnston's mother was going to be here, but she hasn't returned my calls today. Anybody heard from her?

I talked to her on Tuesday. She said she had some party favors for us.

I brought a six-pack of Pyramid Snowcap!

Cool. I have two bottles of Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale from 2005. Is it any good to drink when it's that old? Is it a valuable collector's item that I ought to leave unopened?

Well, crack it open and give it a taste! It should still be OK.

Hey, Jack. Where's your restroom?

There's a guy outside that I don't recognize:

I started at 2:30 eastern time, so I'm looking for some black coffee by now.

OK, Pyramid Snowcap #1 is history!

I'm not drinking anything since I have to fill in "All" in the box for medical history item: "Family history of alcohol abuse."
But I'm smoking one of the big cone-shaped white cigars that Tensk handed out. Jack's artichoke dip tastes pretty good.

Alas, I'm stuck at work. But if i could, I'd be enjoying a bottle of Anchor Christmas Ale. I especially like this year's version.

Oh cool, we can smoke in here? I want to fire up a nice Don Diego Robusto I've been saving.

Go ahead. Don't tell Fireman Randy.

Water, of course! And not that fancy (plastic) bottled stuff, either. I recommend it for those of you who are going with something harder. It's also good for washing up. And, that intoxicated Santa looks like he could use a bucket of Bull Run splashed on him.

Drinking: Campari, gin, soda
Wearing: A-line skirt, keyhole sweater, bullet bra, stockings (hoping for a raise)
Listening to: "Christmas Cocktails"
Listening for: News that Bristol's in labor

Is Randy going to be here, Jack? Sam? Grampy?

Grampy moved to Florida two weeks ago.

I'm drinkin' local -- Jubelale!

Drinkage: Cherry Coke Zero. It's be better with a shot of something, but I don't have anything to shoot into it. *sighs*

I'm going for that old classic: hot buttered rum. After days of housebound-ness and/or illness, it's certainly hitting the spot!

hot buttered rum

I've got more left over batter than I know what to do with. I picked up a bottle of Cruzan next door. We'll see how long it lasts.

This party's more rockin' than a bus ride in Seattle.

Screwdriver with Organic Nation vodka, but there's also some Jubelale in the fridge.

Prepping here for the NCAA Football Playoff Subdivision Championship Game (what?!! playoffs?!! But that's impossible!!!) between Montana and Richmond at 5 p.m. on ESPN2.

Go Griz!

Ah yes, the Griz.

We're still getting packages together for East Coast relatives, but then it's time to get serious about planning Christmas dinner. What should we have?

Yeah! Go Griz. I'll be watching that game with some friends and beers.

Chris, I realized we were using the same recipe when I figured out why you were asking about agave nectar!

The batter will keep indefinitely in the fridge, you know. Or you could regift it...

Jack, your holiday hors d'oeurves are delicious. My compliments to the Chief: How! Way!

In my cups I'm a nog nut -- yo ho ho, and a bottle of Cruzan 140 to go ... with it.

Happy Holidays, blogsters everywhere. Have one for me.
Sigh, 24 years on the wagon. Maybe I'll just drink a cyber-rum and coke, smoke a cyber-bomber and do a few cyber-lines. Naa, better not chance it.
Erik's comment about the same bottle from last year really said it all about the difference in people. With me, there were no same bottles from last night, much less last year.

It did save a little time though. Who needs holiday decorations when you're already lit up like a Christmas tree?

Party on.

Bill, remember: Nixon used to hallucinate on Dr Pepper.

I'm still on Sprite and dark chocolate bars this afternoon.

Hey, what's that smell?

I've got a question: Do cyber-parties need a designated blogger?

Anybody else spend the day shoveling snow?

Here's a quartet of winter photos.

I hope this link works ...


Do cyber-parties need a designated blogger?

Don't drink and hyperlink.

There's something floating in the punch bowl that I can't identify.

Sorry I'm late, but I'm already on my 5th Ciroc Vodka (The only vodka that I know of derived from snap-grapes) I add only a touch of grapefruit juice to the Ciroc in a chilled glass.

I'm also cracking crab, and feeling pretty good right now. I would have been here earlier, but I don't drink often and kept typing in "Jacks hog blog" (which took me to another fun not fit for work site altogether). Anyway, Happy holidays!

I'm barbecuing in the snow flurries, and writing out Christmas cards. Grand scene. God bless Portland, Oregon.

Chicken or burger?

Jack, I'm naive enough to pose this question: Nixon once claimed he hallucinated while drinking Dr Pepper? What? I actually ran a Google search on what I'm sure is an inside joke but I decided to inquire anyway.

There was a comedy album skit in which the Nixon character confessed that he hallucinated on Dr P. I think he was under the influence of marijuana at the time. Cheech and Chong maybe, or the National Lampoon "Radio Dinner" album... anyone remember more clearly than I do? (Memory loss from that period is common, I suspect.)

Jack, did you invite that Multnomah County Probation supervisor that stole some hippy lettuce from the evidence room a year back?

I am drinking a nice home brew (chocolate stout).

I've got a pecan bourbon pie in one hand and a Tom Waits CD in the other. If the pie's not a hit, who cares after two slices. Have you booked a future celebration at the Convention Center Hotel? Better make reservations early because of the anticipated avalanche of Shriners and Star Trek groupies.

I just opened my three-year-old bottle of Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. Stand by for a review...

Three years in the bottle did not hurt Celebration Ale at all. In fact, it might have helped it by mellowing out the hoppy-ness. Better save that last bottle of '05 for next year...

Where's your cup?

Doggone - I forgot and almost missed the party! I have made a small dent in the gin bottle anyway, whilst wrapping Christmas gifts. Thanks for the virtual party Jack!

Hey, what's that smell?

Sorry, man. A few of us were in the back bedroom for a couple of minutes.

I hope it's okay.

Jack, are you going to share links to the YouTube vids that have been running in the background?

I have been enjoying the party so much, I haven't been able to keep up with them.

Uh, everybody? Keep it down for a minute? The cops are here.

Oh, hell! Hey, can you hold this?

Dump it in the plant!

Hey I'm back...turns out my ex-girlfriend lives right around the corner and...well, anyway, what did I miss?

The cops just left. We have to kind of keep it cool.

Hey, is she still there? Invite her over.

Bill will drive her.

Does she have any friends?

So sorry about my date. She's really sorry. You have no idea...

She'll pay her fine on Monday.

Sure, I'll invite her over if that's cool with everybody. And I will ask her to bring some friends too!

Cool. Try to keep them away from Bean's friend.

Eat up, everybody! The caterers want to go home.

Do you think if I try to smoke the M&Ms that they will melt?

Well it's been real, people.

I've got to hit the road before Arctic Blast 2008™ starts up again.

Here's a holiday message I like to share around this time of year from cult favorite Vern Fonk Insurance of Seattle. And speaking of insurance, y'all be safe heading home.

Has anybody seen BobW? He looked a little sick the last time I saw him. He said he was going out on the fire escape for some air.

Rich -- What's the deal with your friend's friend?

Hey, look out the window. This'll be funny. That guy's going out to pee on the lawn ornaments because I told him the LED lights weren't electric.

Oh...wow, I must have passed out...dang I have a headache! Time to walk home. Thanks Jack!

Jack, Sorry about that, I went over to my ex's place and she had left. I had to pee real bad so I went out into the snow to write my name and wound up getting arrested for public urination. Just got bailed out.

I want to apologize to everyone for my behavior yesterday. I thought the party was starting at 2:30 Eastern time and so by the time the festivities actually began I was already back in college.


Anyway, I thought that line about kissing the girls toes under the missles was pretty funny last night, but this morning, upon reconsideration, my shame was hot acknowleging I employed that line even once, keener still when merciless memory reminded me that line, or even cruder variations, was my calling card to every damsel at the party. Anyway, my apologies. Sorry, I embarrassed you and New Jersey, Jack. As we know, it's not that easy to embarrass New Jersey.

And by the way, some guy in your neighborhood who saw me writing my name in the snow said that for $50 he could help me "improve my handwriting". Might want to keep an eye on him.

Sorry, again.

Wrong event. Looks like I never made it to your cyber-party. Oh, God, it seems I'm really going to have to face those people again.

Coffee? Eggs?

Uh...Oh ...where'd everybody go?
Blink Blink...
I was lurking...on and off while we had real live guests last night.
How 'bout a Bloody Mary?
Thanks Jack.


I thought the tie on the doorknob was a sign that would keep you guys from bursting in without knocking.

As the designated blogger I tried to make sure everybody got back to their home pages safely when the party was over, but some of the rowdier ones got away from me and almost crashed their computers.
We also have a lost mouse that somebody left behind and be careful opening any emails called "Bare Asses on the Office Copy Machine." Thank you.

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