Help rename the Burnside Bridgehead project
The Portland Development Commission remains wedded to Opus Northwest as the developer for the Burnside Bridgehead project -- the controversial development on the east side of the Burnside Bridge. This week they'll talk about extending the commitment to Opus yet again, for another year, despite the fact that after three years and several previous contract extensions, the whole plan for the site has gone nowhere. They would have stimulated the local economy more if they had simply installed a cemetery.
There's little or nothing left of the original project that competing developers and outraged neighbors once fought so bitterly over. Why not scrap the whole thing and start over? No, instead they'll wish and hope and scheme and dream some more, and supposedly negotiate with prospective tenants in secret. More smoke-filled room stuff. (Picture some buzzed Home Depot execs nodding out on a leather couch, the PDC guys in kneepads moaning "please, please...," and the Opus guys drawling "That site shore is purty.")
Along with the latest round of foolishness is coming a "rebranding." Maybe if they start calling the project by a new name, eventually the Google searches will stop exposing the long-term futility of the whole thing.
But the folks at the PDC seem to have neglected an important feature of public process here in Portland -- the valuable citizen input that constitutes the riches of our city. They can't "rebrand" the Burnside Bridgehead without hearing from us, now, can they? Of course not!
And so, in our continuing spirit of public service, we hereby solicit your views on a new name "brand" for the Burnside Bridgehead project. Couplet Meadows? The Charrette Minaret? Void Center? The Hurl District? Readers, do your civic duty in the comments.
| Posted at 10:13 AM | Permalink |
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Comments (29)
Because the area is on Burnside and Couch Streets, given the project's likely public subsidy and our propensity to shorten names to initials, I suggest calling it $40,000,000 B.C.
Posted by Isaac Laquedem | February 25, 2008 11:45 AM
The New old Baloney Joe's.
Posted by meg | February 25, 2008 11:58 AM
Katz and the Jammer Kids.
Posted by Dave Lister | February 25, 2008 12:01 PM
The Portland Poop Deck.
Posted by b!X | February 25, 2008 12:05 PM
Charrette Minaret? Void Center? Hurl District?
Jack, when you're on, you're on. i laughed so hard coffee came out my nose.
Posted by ecohuman.com | February 25, 2008 12:16 PM
"Baloney Row"
Posted by TKrueg | February 25, 2008 1:15 PM
Bridgetopia?
SmartBridge Center
Or really unique,
"Burnside Station"
Posted by Howard | February 25, 2008 1:46 PM
Burnside Projects
Posted by Harry | February 25, 2008 2:01 PM
i laughed so hard coffee came out my nose.
i do hope you were drinking coffee at the time.
"BumTown East"
"Day Labor Village"
"Snoose Hollow"
"What's the Pointe"
"Planned Eunuch Development"
"The Round and Round"
Posted by cc | February 25, 2008 2:05 PM
I love "What's the Pointe" -- the perfect complement to the SoWhat District.
Posted by Jack Bog | February 25, 2008 2:15 PM
Chicanery Row.
Posted by RicN | February 25, 2008 2:19 PM
How about the:
Sustainable
Urban
Core of
Knotted
Streets
aka S.U.C.K.S.
Posted by Larry K | February 25, 2008 2:41 PM
There Will Be Debt
(in a tip o' the hat to the Academy Awards last night...)
Posted by got logic? | February 25, 2008 2:43 PM
"Streetcar named Desire"
Yes, quite hackneyed, but the whole reason this Bridgehead is getting pushed is to justify:
a) Streetcars on the east side
b) Repaving 1.5 miles of W Burnside for $85M
I wish Sammy boy would get over his obsession with the streetcars and downtown.
Posted by Steve | February 25, 2008 3:03 PM
How about one of these:
"Hocus Opus Project"
"Burnside Pighead Project"
"The No Developer Left Behind Project"
"Bad Ash Project"
"Ankeny Panky Project"
"The Pork District"
Posted by Metro Watcher | February 25, 2008 3:29 PM
"Lents West"
"Concrete Woods"
"Gates of Heavin'"
"FlimFlam Alley"
Posted by cc | February 25, 2008 3:47 PM
Just ditch the pie-in-the-sky ban on big box retail and it will go
Posted by John | February 25, 2008 4:23 PM
Salvation Army West Annex
Posted by joel | February 25, 2008 4:23 PM
Shennanigonia
Scandal Village
Urban ReScrewed
Fat Cat Station
No one's watching world
Burnside Pretty Place
Voters Suck Central.
Posted by Howard | February 25, 2008 4:50 PM
Looks like a great place for an unsubsidized high-end covention hotel. "Joseph's", of course.
Posted by godfry | February 25, 2008 4:54 PM
Those are very good. Part of the reason I subscribe to bojack. We should vote on it in a day or two!
Posted by dman | February 25, 2008 5:20 PM
Subsidy Village?
Tweaker Heights?
Vista del Barrio?
School Tax Free Living?
Posted by Mister Tee | February 25, 2008 5:37 PM
"The Avenue of Roses" (82nd can just wait their turn)
Posted by PG | February 25, 2008 6:17 PM
"Burningbridge Palazzo"
Posted by Torch & Pitchfork Society | February 25, 2008 7:12 PM
Retail Dreams, Wholesale Subsidies
Posted by godfry | February 25, 2008 7:40 PM
Uuve bin Had
Posted by godfry | February 25, 2008 7:41 PM
Cashfire's on the Gulch?
Scam's Club?
However, my vote says we have a winner in...
The Hurl District.
Posted by dyspeptic | February 25, 2008 11:48 PM
Ooops! Never mind.
Posted by Jack Bog | February 27, 2008 11:05 PM
It should remain vacant and be called Vera Katz Baseball Field.
Posted by Bark Munster | February 28, 2008 11:44 AM