I think I've had it with character guys. You know, guys with great mothers and girlfriends, who end up not playing. Oh, for the glory years when yellow hummers rolled through the night, pot smoke billowing out of every window. So what if they were going 80 mph in a stoned haze? At least they could play. Oh, for the times when a Blazer would challenge a search even though it had taken place in airport security. That's the sort of original legal strategy in the courtroom that translated into original play on the court. Oh for the days when losing a few pounds in the off-season didn't mean you were voluntarily working out with your teammates - it meant the police had seized your stash. That's the lesson for the kids out there: Never, ever do anything extra for your job. Just do what they pay you to do.
How did this happen? It's simple really: Greg Oden was perfect - he was humble, personable, and fun. These are not fun times. These are times when the Rasheeds of the world step forth to accept a championship ring. America is off the path. Nothing good can thrive in this darkness. I blame Greg Oden's knee on President Bush's doomed policy in the Middle East. It's so obvious. We're not supposed to have fun during times of such great mayhem and sorrow. Life is a battle between serious and fun and even during the best of times, fun is at a serious disadvantage. These are not the best of times.
Oh for the days when we turned to lawyers to explain the situation, rather than doctors.

I heard some commentator say that in his pre-draft physical the Blazers looked specifically at Oden's knees and found nothing there to worry about. Supposedly. Either Oden didn't tell them that his knee hurt or it's a condition that totally developed since then.

Why must athletes engage in unnecessarily risky behavior? I mean, didn't he realize the danger of getting up off the couch? Kids, the lesson here is stay on the couch. Your knees will thank you for it.

Bill, your post is genius. I haven't laughed out loud as of late due to some severe personal issues. Thanks for the wit and wisdom, pal.

"Oh for the days when losing a few pounds in the off-season didn't mean you were voluntarily working out with your teammates - it meant the police had seized your stash."

That is too good!

I agree!!

Especially this part:
"I blame Greg Oden's knee on President Bush's doomed policy in the Middle East."

Re:photoshopped pics
Naughty naughty naughty!

Anyone know if Tonya belongs to the Teamsters or Longshoremens union?
Ron

I'm pissed. I've been using that I'd get off the couch honey but it hurts my knee excuse for years. Now she's all over me to get an "exploratory" scope job. It's a small thing she says. Out for 2-3 weeks. Right. Damn Oden.

I hear knees aren't so important in the NBA. So, what's the big deal?