I am not making this up. Fireman Randy wants to make it illegal to tape off your viewing spot along the route of the Rose Festival Grand Floral Parade.

Hey Randy, I know this is about as meaningful as we can make city government nowadays, but don't you think it will just make a bad situation worse? It's cutthroat enough out there along the parade route without City Hall stirring things up. When two of your more enthusiastic constituents wind up stabbing each other over a spot on the curb, the blood will be on your hands. (We've already had one kooky parade tragedy this year, and the fleet's just arriving.)

Besides, whom do you think you're kidding? Do you think the people who do this are going to stop just because you pass an ordinance saying it's a no-no? Are we going to send cops out to rip up the duct tape all day Friday? What will you do with all the confiscated cheesy lawn chairs that were chained to the parking meters and sign poles?

I think all those biodiesel fumes may be getting to you.

Once the city draws blood on the taping issue, you can see where this is heading. It won't be long before parade watchers will have to drop a couple of bucks to buy parking stickers from those overpriced, "sustainable" parking meter contraptions. You'll have to keep them stuck to your forehead throughout the entire parade.

UPDATE, 6/8, 2:03 a.m.: It's about to get even uglier than I thought out there.