Multnomah County Sheriff Bernie Giusto surprised political observers today when he told a reporter that he may not seek re-election. In a brief interview outside Michael's Sausage, Giusto said he has been asked by federal authorities to join in a special national security strike force, the precise nature of which he could not disclose.

Sources close to the sheriff, however, said the mission involved a planned intervention involving a high-ranking Bush administration official with a substance abuse problem. "All I can say is, Bernie is going to be Bernie," the local source said. "If there's a pretty woman who's got a problem with her old man, the sheriff's ready to help. Helping people is what he does best."

A recent review by The Oregonian of Giusto's expense account and cell phone records turned up $5.19 of unsubstantiated meal charges at Burgerville, two bottles of Brut cologne classified under "ammunition," six instances in which the sheriff initialed an expense voucher rather than signing his full name, three expired holds on VHS tapes at the Multnomah County Library, and 116 phone calls over the past month between his cell phone and the private living quarters of the White House.

"We do individual things for individuals, whether they are people of position or not," the sheriff said as he jumped into a county police cruiser and sped off to an East County Junior League meeting. "It's not an issue, and I have no qualms."