All bloggers worth their bandwidth keep a constant tally of how many folks are visiting their sites, and where they're coming from. And there are "ratings" services such as The Truth Laid Bear and Technorati, who give us the rankings of who's hot, who's not as of any given day.

The blogosphere isn't like television, where a couple of times a year (May and November being the biggies, I think), the ratings that a show gets in a particular period count way more than they do at any other time of the year. For example, the David Letterman baby show the other night was a big hit in a key "sweeps" week, but I wonder if Dave and Regina planned it that way. Back in February, did they used the "CBS Rhythm Method" to time the conception? (The way this works, on the nights when you're not supposed to have sex, you watch CBS, which gets you out of the mood.)

What if blogs had "sweeps," and we were all particularly hungry for hits right now? What would we be blogging about?

Here's the headline I'd be leading with: Mohammad Ali has been arrested for sexual abuse.

Or else I'd be calling Jared, the Subway Sandwich guy, and asking him if he's got anything to hide in his video collection.

I'd get my hits -- but probably nothing like what I've been getting for simply mentioning the Coors Light Twins (who, by the way, are Polish-American). Dzien dobry, girls!