Rumor has it that right-wing commentator Rush Limbaugh, who just resigned in disgrace from his extremely brief side gig as a sports commentator, is under investigation for illegal drug use. His accuser says Limbaugh's been hooked on several painkillers, including oxycontin, the "hillbilly heroin," for years.

The lefties are going to jump all over this juicy scandal, broken in the National Enquirer(!). And although I generally sympathize with drug-addicted people, particularly those who, like Limbaugh, have been treated for painful medical conditions, in this case I'm going to make an exception.

If a public figure whose ideas Limbaugh didn't like were in this position, the Big Fat Fair and Balanced Idiot would be ranting and raving to his drooling faithful about it for weeks.

Cue up "Like a Rolling Stone," folks, because if the reports are true, this gentleman is about to commence his well-deserved new career as a trivia question. Maybe he and Newt can party together.

(P.S. Looks like Tony got to this way before I did, and as usual, he nailed it. How the guy has time to write so well and still keep all the supermodels satisfied, I'll never know.)