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Friday, June 20, 2003

This just in

Abid Hamid Mahmoud al-Tikriti, the just-captured "ace of diamonds" from the former Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein, last night blasted his number-four status, arguing that he should rank higher than both Uday and Qusay Hussein in the infamous deck of cards.

"When the Americans told me I was number four, I practically fell out of my chair," Mr. Mahmoud told CNN's Larry King during an hour-long interview. "What were they smoking when they put together these rankings?"

From the Borowitz Report.

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