This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on November 26, 2002 2:12 AM. The previous post in this blog was New kids in town. The next post in this blog is Long time gone. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Never trust a pirate

If you have little kids in the house, you probably know all about the snack foods called "Pirate's Booty," "Fruity Booty," and "Veggie Booty." These little puffed goodies resemble Chee-tos, only blander, and with weirder flavoring. Most children at a certain age can't get enough of this stuff -- so much so that one mom we know calls it "kiddie crack." We finally had to curb our little one's access to booty, as she was filling up on a decidedly unbalanced diet because of it.

Well, wouldn't you know it? The booty people were evil, evil, evil. Nestled in my New York Times yesterday was a tiny legal ad addressed to "all persons in the United States who, between January 1, 1999, and October 1, 2002, purchased at retail any of the following products distributed by Robert's American Gourmet Food, Inc." -- and then listing all three booties. The message? The booty boys and girls are being sued in a class action for allegedly falsifying the fat and caloric content of their products, and now a settlement is being proposed. The newspaper ad directs us all over to the official booty website for the full text of the settlement notice.

If you go over there, check out the colorful graphics and the seemingly innocuous little commercial site, with the plain words "settlement notice info" just under the cute cartoon booty hottie.

Perhaps funnier, although doubtlessly typical of class action settlements, is the proposed remedy: The booty boys and girls will be required to circulate a bunch of coupons giving consumers 40 cents off on each bag of booty purchased for a specified period in the future.

The plaintiffs' attorneys won't be getting compensated in snack food, however. Their reward, up to $790,000, will be paid in cash.

What a country.

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