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Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Top 10 George W. Bush Strategies to Improve Corporate Ethics

10. All new magnifying glasses and steno pads for the SEC compliance unit

9. Bring back "cuss cups" at corporate board meetings

8. Shorten grace period for correcting misleading financial statements -- 24 hours after getting caught

7. CEO salaries capped at $1 billion per year, effective in 2010

6. From now on, all insider trading must be done on your own time

5. Hold corporate America to same high ethical standards adhered to by the White House over the past decade

4. All document shredding must be done manually

3. New sentence for securities fraud: 10 jillion years

2. Have public schoolchildren pray that Bush appointees to SEC and courts will suddenly start enforcing the laws that are already on the books

And the No. 1 George W. Bush Strategy to Improve Corporate Ethics:


1. Kill Saddam Hussein




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