Here we go with another exciting week, and another exciting month. Nothing can top last week, though; it was unreal. First we unveiled the plans for the MARC. A 50-foot climbing wall and a fancy pressurized swimming pool! Woo hoo! And I didn't let on, but I know just how to get the Salvation Army to pay for it, too: a huge Jesus statue at the top of the climbing wall. You know "Touchdown Jesus" at Notre Dame? Wait 'til they see Crampon Jesus in Portland! And an underwater Holy Ghost painted on the bottom of the pool. Maybe a couple of Virgin Mary's in the yoga rooms, too.
The separation of church and state thing could be trouble. Those pesky ACLU types will come sniffing around. But hey, if it means I get my name in the history books, I can sing a discreet chorus or two of "Bringing in the Sheaves"! One nation, under God!
We'll even have water sports down on the east side of the Willamette next to the Broadway Bridge. That'll be an upgrade from the dead-man-floating games we get down there now. Maybe as a transition, we could start right away handing out fencing gear to the homeless people who are stabbing each other all the time.
I ended the week with a bang, too, with my big announcement. Tom for Mayor! That ought to give Old Moneybags a little agita. He doesn't understand how soon my time is coming. I'll drive him nuts for four years, starting now, and blow him away after one term. Campaign finance reform, and then I'll take him by storm. Move over, Tom McCall.
Posted by Erik at May 3, 2004 05:05 AMYou have it all wrong on the use of the Memorial Coliseum. It should become a giant shelter, service, and recreation center for the homeless. A large percentage of the cronic homeless are veterans so what better way to honor them. Homelessness is one of the nations major growth un-industries so why not plan for it. The Portland Business Alliance wants them out of downtown, but there will be holy hell to pay if they wind up in the inner city neighborhoods - or anywhere else.
But on a more serious note, why not use this fine old public building to house the consolidated City-County government. It would be nice to include METRO and School District #1 too. I have this fantasy about politics replacing sports as the primary spectator activity in Portland. There would be stats galore regarding every public figure and every public entity. There would be public meetings with thousands in attendance and they would even pay money to get the best seats. The sale of the other property downtown would pay for it. It would provide space for the new county court house. We could move the Portlandia statue to above the main entrance. It would give new meaning to "Thinking Outside the Box" and, last bu not least, Vera would have her legacy.
Posted by: Donald at June 13, 2004 10:57 AM