March 23, 2004

"Let me tell you how it will be..."

I'm loving my new "bite out of crime" theme. I haven't had this much fun since Dick Tracy died.

They ought to give me an extra badge. I've got more open cases than Lenny on Law and Order. First it was the "entrepreneur" housing inspectors, then the tax guy who cut all those back-room deals. They can run but they can't hide from the Long Arm of Lents.

Where's the DA? You would think he'd want in on the action. Then again, what does he care? Nobody's crazy enough to run against him any more. It's guys like me, who have the whole block party crowd on their case, who need the mileage.

Boy, a certain lame duck sure got her Chantelles in a wad over the newspaper coverage. I can't believe she sent the cops over to see what was on those computers. I hear all they picked up was a couple of NCAA pools and some links to the Sports Illustrated calendar.

Well, I'm not going to let her stop me from turning over every rock I find. Next up: all the cheats out there who don't pay their business license taxes. Probably a bunch of makeup saleswomen driving around in their pink cars. I want to see the looks on their faces when we come blasting in on their Tupperware parties. And freelance cartoonists! They may walk up on stage for their little Pearly "creative" grants, but I'll get five times that much back from them in taxes. Deadbeats, welcome to the city that works — you over!

Note to self: Have the campaign staff take the pulse on the tax thing. This is no time to go overboard and start drawing approval ratings as low as the IRS.

Posted by Randy at March 23, 2004 01:06 AM
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