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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on November 6, 2011 7:20 PM. The previous post in this blog was 'Dog day afternoon. The next post in this blog is Jeffer-Sam Smith TV. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Sunday, November 6, 2011

What would it be like?

The other day the whole family found itself in groovy NoPo, and we ran into this guy and his human, out for a walk:

Since then, we've been hearing, "Dad, can we get one?"

Discuss.

Comments (31)

I would never let me kids get a human. Isn't that illegal?

Probably a bit healthier to walk it than to eat it.

No. End of discussion, Dad. Exotic pet. Move on. Thank goodness it wasn't a chimp.

Why not get a politician instead?

Looks like mineature pig is being walked by adult human.

Your offsprings' ages?

You and Mrs. Bogdanski want to take up pig walking "X" times per day because you have so much free time?

What are the serious details on the care and feeding and pooping of pig and cleanup requirements?

Once you get that serious data, they you and Mrs. B need to decide if the kids are ready for the work that the pig would necessitate. Thats always a unique decision - specific to your kid(s). What works for Sally and Joe Doe and their kids Sarah and Steve doesn't necessarily fit your kids and your household.

Pigs aren't cats. More "hands on" care needed.

Are your kids up to it?

Only you guys - you and the Missus - have a clue as to the answer to that question. There are no universal; applies in all situations answers.

My 9 year old grand daughter has two lionhead rabbits. They are low maintenance and small. They are trained to relieve themselves in one area of their cage so very tidy.
Read the book Charlotte's Web with them instead of getting a pig. They will lose interest.

Run (!) do not walk from this idea.

I know someone who has one of these 'miniature' pigs and the first thing I thought when I first met it was, "Good god, what is that?!?!"

The thing is HUGE. It's like (well not like, it IS) living with a pig!

My bet is that guy will be getting the idea when his cute little piglet grows up and you won't see him with the pig because he will have asked himself, "What was I thinking?!"

Are they allowed? Some places not. can you take it with you? can you potty train it? Can you take it to work with you on Pet day? I've know people that have had them. find a few that do, and consider your lifestyle and how it would fit in. Consider back yard chickens instead.

Oh, come on, go ahead.

Have you already forgotten what a neighborhood institution this guy had become?

I still recall the day as a youngster when I learned where bacon came from.

The Internet says "teacup" pigs grow to be a little over a foot long and 35-40lbs. Doesn't seem all that huge.

You guys have cats, right?
I don't think the kitties will approve of a 40 lb pig in their midst!
And you do know that cats always! get even....when they feel slighted.

Sure, I could get one. Then I can feed him with all the food scraps I have in my new handy dandy compost pail! Then again, the little guy would eventually end up on my weber grill, but hey, that's recycling isn't it?

I say watch Pulp Fiction again for your answer. We all know what Jules would say, but what would Vincent Vega do?

I like that. WWVVD? Might start asking myself that question on a regular basis.

It would eliminate the need for a slop bucket. You could probably get the neighbors to donate their slop also.

Do they shed? Can you breed them with a poodle to eliminate allergy issues?

With the pig eating all the neighborhood slop you will soon have a 100+ lb pig. These creatures are called "miniature" because they do not weigh 1000 lbs!
Please tell the kids NO!

And ... Aaron you are dead wrong there is no such thing as a tea cup pig.

I'm qualified to answer, as I raise pigs (well, up to conventional slaughtering weight).

You DO NOT want to have a pot-bellied pig. According to:

http://www.amazon.com/Pot-Bellied-Pet-Pigs-Mini-Pig-Training/dp/0962453102

pot bellied pigs have the maturity of a two-year old, and throw tantrums if they don't get sufficient attention.

Do you really want that?

On the other hand, if it doesn't go well, they barbeque up really nice!

Portland Native, you're mistaken. They were bred for small size to make them more convenient to handle when used as a human analog in studies. They're available as pets. Try a little research.

(Now, it is true that the smallest pigs sometimes referred to as "tea cups" are genetically not different than the rest of the miniature pigs. These are usually runts, and sometimes have health problems. But you can indeed get them from what I can glean. There might be ethical concerns.)

Bacon - Mmmmmmmmmm.

I've known several people who've had Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs, and I also know a woman who lives north of Dallas who runs a pot-belly rescue facility. The two main reasons why well-meaning idiots abandon their pigs (and I mean this literally, where the pigs are dumped to fend for themselves) is because they didn't know how much they'd eat or how big they'd get. Most people would avoid keeping an Irish wolfhound or Rottweiler in an efficiency apartment, but you see that all of the time with the potbellies. All they see are the cute little piglets, and it never occurs to them that they might get any bigger.

That said, don't let me stop you if you're really prepared to keep one. I'll just say that growth shock hits owners of potbellies the way it hits owners of reticulated and Burmese pythons. (In both cases, I hear morons stating "They stay small if you don't feed 'em," and my wife usually has to stop me from smacking the morons in the head with a cricket bat.)

Aw, geez....

More Portlanders getting miniature pigs can only mean that we are headed down the road to off-leash hogslops in every city park where pig-owners and their pets can go to socialize and meet other pigs and their owners.

Keep Portland weird, Jack. Go for it!

TTR, you are absolutely correct.
And Aaron the so called "tea cup" pigs are literally starved to keep them smaller...do your research!...FYI their internal organs continue to grow to normal size, and they have a life expectancy of less than 5 years, compared to a normal life of 12 to 15 years.
Only unscrupulous breeders tell prospective buyers the pigs stay small if you don't feed them!
These creatures are smart, stubborn, and well...pigs! No one who doesn't have some acreage, lots of time, a desire to be home all the time, and a knowledge of farm animals should have one.
And BTW there is no after market for grown up potbellies. Those poor creatures are just not cute piglets anymore. That is why there are rescue facilities like the one run by the lady in Dallas.

i recall when my then 11 year old sister saw someone with an exotic pet. oh my gosh "BAW -- Mom WHY can't i have a monkey, too??" 35 years later and she still won't own up to it.

I regularly give my wife grief about getting one exotic pet. Just one. Every time I've saved her bacon, I tell her that all I ask in return is a crocodile monitor. When she balks, I used to say "well, take your pick. A crocodile monitor or an affair." (I've stopped doing this. She's taller than I am, her elbows are very sharp, and I already have a dent in the top of my skull that I can use as a candleholder from where she's rapped my pan for similar comments.)

Personally, I'm doing this because it gets me out of other trouble. After arguing the merits of keeping a 13-foot, 75-pound carnivorous reptile that's known by 50 names in its native New Guinea, and all of them translate to "demon," all I need to do is say "We don't even need a cage for it. Sid ("Nancy" if it's a girl) can sleep with us." After that, suggesting projects such as sealing off the back porch with greenhouse film for the winter seem incredibly reasonable.

No.

But nobody likes 'no', including kids. So never say 'no'. F'rinstance, at the swimming pool, do NOT say to kids, scurrying, dripping, "don't run." Say, "walk."

Always, if you're good, remove every 'no' or 'not' from your language. It's a mental exercise to catch yourself about to say it. And replace it with the alternative word, (there always is one, it's a mental vocabulary-building exercise), which states an affirmative of not-the-negative. So, rewording the 1st paragraph instruction goes like this: "F'rinstance, at the swimming pool, instead of saying, "don't run," say, "walk." 'Walk' is the affirmative, or declarative, of 'not run.'

Instead of saying, "no pig," try distraction, ("ask again later"), or substitution: "maybe a goldfish," "maybe a hamster," "maybe a parakeet," etc. Depends on what you'd prefer, or tolerate. If actual enjoyment is not an option ... I mean, off the table.

I recommend a few chickens in a small coop in your backyard, Jack. Eat the eggs. Fertilize the flowerbeds. Recycle the molted feathers as a ceremonial Indian headdress for Halloween. Later, eat the chickens. You need a rooster to get fertile eggs if you'd like to hatch some. Later eat the rooster; (that's not a 'rooster,' it's a 'fryer'). Or rent him out (weekly rates) to neighbors who have only hens and want chicks. You get the whole 'cycle of life' thing going on, which is the best lesson a child can learn.
The greatest thing you will ever learn
Is just to love, and be loved in return.

Anyway, that's how the birds do it. I don't know how the bees do it ... uh, I mean I'm ignorant of bees. I just eat their honey.

[Next time in Thought Control instructions we meet Rule No.2 - remove all vertical references to human relations; no one is 'above' or 'below' another, we don't 'climb the corporate ladder or hierarchy' on another 'level', but rather we approach 'the central core' of 'denser responsibility'; everyone is horizontal, equal standing, on the same plane; and Rule No.3 - remove 'will' and 'would' (also 'won't' and 'wouldn't') from speech; eliminate 'will start down a slippery slope' thinking; nobody knows what tomorrow may bring, everyone knows all things are possible. My T.C.Rules are only suggestions that work for me, being careful in my little mind what I think, and might work for others who care; also, knowing such Rules are in use may help readers find a flow in my syntactical somersaults.]

That is the cutest photo you have ever posted on this blog.

So nice to see another crocodile lover on this forum. Snakes are my favorites. It's funny how people just don't really appreciate carnivorous reptiles that stalk and sunbathe and strike and glimmer and shimmer and coil..

My idea of a good retirement gig would be catching Black Mambas in South Africa,
or photographing crocodiles sunbathing on riverbanks...those silvery ridges and amazing jaws and tails..no other creatures possess such a bizarre and nerve-racking beauty...


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