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Monday, June 13, 2011

From the Jail Duck police blotter

Here's one of Eugene's student athletes driving 118 miles an hour on a suspended license at 4:30 in the morning. Probably on his way to an anthropology study group meeting.

Comments (20)

Mkaes me so proud that the Portland Rose Festival used the football bozos as grand marshalls this year, and that the same Rose Festival folks "knighted" the stupid *uck suit wearer.

A nice extra touch that LaRiviere spent Saturday making nice with the butcher of Gabon.

UO, really a school one should looh up to. Yeah, right.

Rented car?

Somehow I bet the player wasn't paying the rent.

Dear NCAA -- extra benefit for a stupid kid at a cheater school maybe? Think you might look into that?

4:30? Man, those guys get up early!

Innocent until proven guilty!

Go Ducks,

John, B.A., Journalism '04

Or until pleading guilty.

those guys get up early....

Or stay out late.

John, Journalism '04

You are very young, aren't you.

Tell me o educated product of the Joke of Eugene, just where, as I am not serving on a jury considering this clown's 118 MPH jaunt down I-5, I am required in any way to consider the buffoon anything but guilty.

Cite your sources, and write a cogent argument demonstrating how that shiboleth applies to anyone but a juror in a criminal trial.

While your rah rah cheerleading for the ducks is cute, the duck athletic department and its players are wearing a little thin in this state.

And say, how about that rented car....who is paying that rental.

Maybe you can do t Kelley and the NCAA a favor and demonstrate that it was his folks in from out of town for a long weekend visit who rented the car and then got him up real early to drive down I-5 to the Roseburg for some fishing in the Umpqua.

Yeah, that must be it.

I'll wait.

Probably a long time, since its an argument you cannot cogently or rationally make.

About what I'd expect from a journalism major at the Joke of Eugene, err, umm, I mean UO.


A passenger with a valid license drove the rented vehicle away from the traffic stop.

A. Passenger? Who's that, their freshman Belgian kicker?


No more alum bucks from me. I'm fed up with these clowns. These jokers are the gift that doesn't stop giving.

"Innocent until proven guilty!"

And here we have a specimen in it's natural Internet habitat of Anatidae Insciens, the ignorant duck.

Let's follow the chain of evidence, shall we? He was clocked doing 118 mph on a public roadway by a sworn officer, who had to catch up with him using a police cruiser with a calibrated and certified speedometer, to say nothing of a Ka-band radar gun.

Having a mountain of probable cause to make the traffic stop (see above), he pulls your beloved duck over, asks for his license and registration, only to find that the license was suspended.

Going over 100 mph, on a suspended license, at night. If a local DA wants to go wild on him, they could probably make a case for reckless driving and / or reckless endangerment. Also, the rental company could probably come up with some civil charges if they decided to - pretty sure all the rental contracts require you to drive in a manner that complies with local laws and statutes.

Oh, and in case you want to try to say that he wasn't being reckless (which would be stupid and laughable, but not out of the realm of possibility for most myopic duck fans), let's go over some basic facts. You're a journalism grad, so you know how to find background facts, right?

• The average low-beam headlamp illumination distance is 180 feet.
• The 60 - 0 stopping distance of a 2011 Nissan Altima is rated at 126 feet.
• Cliff Harris was doing almost double that speed

If something would have been on the road, or an animal would have found it's way onto the freeway (have you seen I-5 south of Albany?), he would have not been able to stop even if he would have had reflexive reaction times measured in nanoseconds. He was "overdriving" his headlamp illumination.

Thanks for playing.

Nonnny Mouse and MachineShedFred-

Sarcasm much?


You can't rent a car with a suspended driver's license, Fred. Looks like he was maybe functioning as a desiccated driver or sumpthin'. Hah. He's not the only one associated with that car who should be in big trouble.

Maybe MADD should start picketing Autzen Stadium -- and the Rose Festival and those creepy Rosarians, while they're at it.

I heard there was a pregnant Beaver football player in the back seat and they were racing to the hospital.

UO is properly written as YOU OWE.

BTW what do Journalism majors study?

John, I thought you might be facetious in your remark. Funny that some didn't think that. O 1970

You may not be able to rent on a suspended license, but you also usually aren't allowed to let someone else drive the rental.

It's also quite easy to claim sarcasm after seeing the reaction. Unfortunately, there are so many Duck homers out there that it's hard to tell if someone is actually being serious when it comes to this kind of thing.

Just look at the astroturfing this blog gets whenever there is a story about the Timbers.

Fred - not quite a fair comparison - after all, the Timbers are a rich guy's toy - the Ducks, they're a - oh, never mind.

Speeding toward NCAA sanctions.

The whole discussion at O, legally, will get down to NCAA Rule A school employee or rep "may not provide a student athlete with extra benefits or services... like...use of a vehicle". Since, according to the "facts" today, the lady was compensated, so there's no "extra benefits or services". No legal infraction from that standpoint.

But I hope O doesn't parse words/meanings and gets down to the moral issues of the incident. They should suspend for at least 2 to 3 games. LSU wins the first.

Driving? In Eugene? How dare he.

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