When it comes to comedy, nobody beats the City of Portland. They just mailed out hundreds of bumper stickers with the message "I Only Drink Tap Water." You only drink it -- you don't also wash in it? Ewwww.
Has somebody got a used copy of Strunk & White to send to these people?
Comments (16)
Not in my house! That stuff comes out a lovely rusty brown color. I don't even give it to my cat.
I think William Safire (and possibly even Strunk) would let the city off with a minor misdemeanor on this one. Putting the "only" after "drink" is less mellifluous. It also could be written, "I drink tap water only." But the bumper sticker's message is understood as it's written.
Please, these clowns have raised water/sewer 10% this year and at least 5% a year for the foreseeable future. This is what they waste their time doing?
Besides if they are so up on Bull Run, maybe the BS (bumper sticker) should say:
Oh, come on, Jack! This is a campaign designed to highlight the fact that, believe it or not, there are people around here who actually drink tap water because it truly is the more sustainable choice!!!!!!! It's not meant to be a grammar lesson. (But speaking of grammar lessons, any idea why Jon put "sustainable" in quotations marks, by the way? Talk about someone who needs a copy of Strunk and White.)
And besides, as Gil pointed out, I think you get the message, no?
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (16)
Not in my house! That stuff comes out a lovely rusty brown color. I don't even give it to my cat.
Posted by none | September 27, 2008 6:06 PM
I save my bathing for skinny dipping in the source.
Did you notice the comments?
Already the anti-fluoride nuts are rhyming.
Posted by Alan Cordle | September 27, 2008 6:07 PM
I gave them a chance to hire me ... but they passed on it.
See what happens?
Posted by Samuel John Klein | September 27, 2008 6:16 PM
I only smoke home grown.
Posted by jjinthejoint | September 27, 2008 6:54 PM
The street rats bathe in it. Set up surveillance on a Benson Bubbler sometime!
Posted by Cosmic Charlie | September 27, 2008 7:28 PM
Only I don't.
Posted by Allan L. | September 27, 2008 7:39 PM
Probably their subliminal way of getting people to stop drinking bottled water because its not "sustainable".
Posted by Jon | September 27, 2008 9:47 PM
I think William Safire (and possibly even Strunk) would let the city off with a minor misdemeanor on this one. Putting the "only" after "drink" is less mellifluous. It also could be written, "I drink tap water only." But the bumper sticker's message is understood as it's written.
Posted by Gil Johnson | September 27, 2008 10:59 PM
Are you a snoot?
Let David Foster Wallace help answer that question. (Read at your leisure)
http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/DFW_present_tense.html
Posted by ejs | September 28, 2008 5:47 AM
My dog only drinks toilet water. Eauuuuuuu
Posted by Pete Ayres | September 28, 2008 9:40 AM
I have that copy of Strunk and White, but I'm not parting with it. And I'm wondering... are the bumper stickers sustainable?
Posted by PDX Native | September 28, 2008 4:10 PM
Please, these clowns have raised water/sewer 10% this year and at least 5% a year for the foreseeable future. This is what they waste their time doing?
Besides if they are so up on Bull Run, maybe the BS (bumper sticker) should say:
"I only drink Portland tap water."
Posted by Steve | September 29, 2008 8:15 AM
How about "My water comes from the tap"?
Posted by Kai Jones | September 29, 2008 10:51 AM
I tapped that water.
Posted by Mister Tee | September 29, 2008 9:13 PM
Oh, come on, Jack! This is a campaign designed to highlight the fact that, believe it or not, there are people around here who actually drink tap water because it truly is the more sustainable choice!!!!!!! It's not meant to be a grammar lesson. (But speaking of grammar lessons, any idea why Jon put "sustainable" in quotations marks, by the way? Talk about someone who needs a copy of Strunk and White.)
And besides, as Gil pointed out, I think you get the message, no?
Posted by Jennie | September 30, 2008 9:12 AM
If you're going to pick on the bumper stickers, we cheerfully request that you do so in the form of a limerick.
Posted by Sarah Bott | September 30, 2008 9:32 AM