This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on November 11, 2006 8:46 AM. The previous post in this blog was All in. The next post in this blog is Roy G. Biv. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Aerial tram = PHART [rim shot]

Radio guy Bob Miller suggests that the new OHSU Medical Group aerial tram [rim shot] be called "PHART" -- short for Pill Hill Aerial Rapid Transit. I must admit, it's got quite a ring to it. And b!X has picked it up, which is a good sign. He can smell a smash hit acronym at quite a distance.

Can't wait for the neon: "Go by PHART!"

Comments (42)

I like it. It's juvenile and immature, but so am I. Besides, the "PH" spelling gives it a classy touch. One recommendation though:

If you switch from aerial tram to PHART, I'd
retire the Rim Shot.

Oh gawwwwd..

That really is annoying so, yes, it's probably perfect.

Oh, indeed. Juvenile and immature. Pretentious (the 'ph' spelling). And the "soap bubble" tramcars can readily be re-envisioned as gas clouds. It resonates with some of the world's more (in)famous transit systems, BART.

It rolls trippingly off the lip when giving directions, too: "Just take the PHART to the Physician's Pavilion," and "Hatfield Building? You'll have to PHART that down to SoWhat," and "Oh, that's easy, just go to Kohler and PHART."

I don't know if they've finalized the names of the individual tram cars yet, but I think that, in recognition of the whole cable and dangling things context, perhaps a famous marionette might be an appropriate source of names. I recommend 'Howdy' and 'Doody'.

He's got it nailed, except for one minor problem: Bob's come up with a great name for the system, but the idea is to name the two bubbles.

I grew up in a poor household. No hot tub, and just one bathtub. We might call the first PHART bubble "Jacuzzi", and maybe the second one "Ooops".

How does your sphincter now whether it's just gas coming out, or something else, anyway?

I suggested that we name it for all those who will actually use it when it finally gets up and running ... the "sick" and the "tired".

The sick and the tired, waiting in long lines with the tourists... reminds me of when I commuted to the California bar exam for three days on the San Francisco cable cars.

name the two cars......

PHART Bubble and PHART Gas

something to do with wind or cheese might work as well....

Chinook and Santa Ana
Gouda and Bleu

Sorry...I'll stop now

Can't wait for the neon: "Go by PHART!"

The t-shirt possibilities alone are endless.

How about: "PHART - Ride Like the Wind!"

The Ad Song for OHSU Health Services:

PHART-Ride Like the Wind

It is the night
My body's weak
I've got the runs
No time for sleep
I've got to ride
Ride like the wind
on the PHART again

I would have preferred


Delusions Of Grandeur Aerial Rapid Transit

Given the con job about 10,000 biotech jobs coming to SoWa.

But that's just me, the delusional retired fat cat.

High Vera.

And I got
A secret to hide
It's costing 20 dollars
For every ride
But I ride, ride like the wind
Gonna ride like the wind

How about Silent and Deadly?

I gotta admit that's a great one, but... Dammit! I was already using that acronym for a regular item in my kid's lunch. (Peanut butter, Honey, Apples, and Raisins on a Tortilla.) Sigh.

I can just imagine the opening ceremonies. When it comes time for the cutting of the ribbon instead of a round of applause, the assembled cut loose...

Maybe we can get Christopher Cross to cut the, um, ribbon.

In your wet dreams they will put it up there. But as a vernacular term who knows. Sounds about right.

BTW from all the attention evident on this site I appears that this "grossly mistaken" project is well on its way to become the most talked-about/appealing symbol of the city. I'm, for one, not surprised.

On finally on the wind issue. Trust Swiss I say, they have been building and operating trams in environments far more harsh then what we have here. If you ever been to any ski resort you know what they do when winds become intolerable. They simply suspend the operation. Weather statistics say that will be rarely needed in Portland.

Let them fly, both OH and SU.

Ride PHART, "Phart and Pharty". They'll get you there before you smell it.

is well on its way to become the most
talked-about/appealing symbol of the city.

You're right. Well worth $60 million, and a real priority item. I take it all back.

Talk about being hoist on your own petard!

You got a valid point here Jack. Mine is Eiffel Tower was expensive like hell and of similar priority. (I realize comparing Eiffel to PHART is a bit of a stretch). However having something special in your city is sometimes worth the extra expense. Lets hope the tram will live up to its hype. Looks good so far.

Ah, whatever. It's a great addition to the city's transportation options.

Personally all the SUV's I have to dodge going up that twisty road to OHSU for my treatments are the real 'PHART's.

Finally I'll get a comfortable safe way to get through the city and up the hill to make the weekly trek.

Yeah, be sure to come back when the City of Portland goes the way of San Diego in the financial department. I'm sure you'll be full of hope then too.

Well, the Blazers are back, and now we have the PHART. Looks like Rip City is back.

We could name the bubbles Phunky and Phatal.

This may be the funniest thread I've read on this blog, or any other blog. I think PHART is gonna stick like, well, you know.

I like to think of it as an occasional saffron-poached pear for the City. Fine as long as we can afford it. The bean counters over at the City Hall say we can, so why not?

Besides it looks like on the balance the City will profit from the SoWhat project (beats having an industrial wasteland there) and one can justifiably think of PHART as an integral part of it. Sure they could have gotten pill pushers and real estate types to pay a fairer share, but you know you cannot have everything in life. Things don't work that way.

It would be real bad though if your prediction of San Diego type of outcome came true. You really think we are heading there?

Not with this attitude:

The bean counters over at the City Hall say we can, so why not?

Which bean counters would you be referring to? The ones who lied?

It would be real bad though if your prediction of San Diego type of outcome came true. You really think we are heading there?

Yep. We just put a Band-Aid on the severed carotid artery known as the Police and Fire Pension Fund. We're going to start putting the equivalent of 10 bucks a month aside, thinking that will pay a million-dollar mortgage that's about to come due in a few years. The SoWhat district and the tram are being built on borrowed money, relying heavily on the assumption that the condo market is going to go wild, when in fact it's heading downward. Portland will never be able to handle all the debt it's taking on without some seriously hard times.

BTW, Godfry, if you're going to use italics, please don't forget to turn them off.

Jack Bog Well worth $60 million, and a real priority item.
JK: Only $60 mil? It isn’t running yet, the final bill hasn’t been paid yet and if there are lawsuits, it may be years before we know the real cost.


My wife thinks that PHART is a right name given the way the wind breaks thru those curves at times.

...be sure to come back when the City of Portland goes the way of San Diego

"No neighborhood better demonstrates the turnaround of San Diego in recent years than the historic Gaslamp Quarter..." (Wine Spectator, Nov 15 issue).

I'm not arguing for fiscal stupidity, but, in the real world...cities not only survive, but even sometimes thrive, despite poor decision making. "Hope" isn't just a town in Arkansas.

We should be preparing non-stop for the earthquake that will be one of the biggest challenges Portland ever faces. That should be our mission as a city - not turning the place into an amusement park.

Frank, I hope you were kidding. We're jeopardizing the financial future of the city to get a good mention in Wine Spectator? How Graggalicious.

So Porland is now Rip a PHART City?

Miller didn't know what he had with his CD-
jacket Pill Hill Aerial Rapid Transit
until I pointed out to him, the city commiss and several others that he had an acronym to rival that of SF's BART.

Frank, I hope you were kidding. We're jeopardizing the financial future of the city to get a good mention in Wine Spectator? How Graggalicious.

I was being funny. (And, hey, San Diego got a whole article, not just a mention.) The point, though, is that even the dumbest stuff...somehow we get through it (or, well, we die). Bill's absolutely right, we should be preparing for the upcoming earthquake...not building hospitals and trams on the fault-line, but, hell, apres le deluge and pass the Pinot!

(Psst....is Bart Munster, Mark Bunster? Or someone just funnin' with us?)

I don't get this preoccupation with earthquakes or tsunamis the people handling emergency planning for Portland have. How about Mt. Hood blowing herself out of existence and leaving half of the Oregon totally obliterated. Isn't that more likely?

San Diego could use some PHART to fuel the Gaslamp District.

Kd, sorry about your trips up to OHSU. But do you think it makes sense to use North Macadam that now has land sq/footage cost equal to downtown Portland, along side a beautiful river, for a massive parking garage to serve OHSU on top of the hill?

Then compounded this with the fact that the NM parking lot has only two access points out of there that is totally undersized and with no easy/cost effective remedies for increasing capacity. Then, if you increase capacity it only goes to a freeway system that has only two lanes in each direction.

Towers, cabling and cars, $60 million.
Being able to name the thing PHART, priceless!

I like "Silent" and "Deadly" for the cars. But I also like "Peter Kohler's Stones: Left and Right".

I can't wait to find out the real cost per ride. We are so screwed.

And another thing..... Anybody caught believing those bean counters say anything other than what they are told to say hasn't gotten over learning the truth about Santa Claus. Anybody caught claiming they say anything other than what they are told is in the business of selling the local equivalent of deeds to the Brooklyn Bridge.

Here's one for the pro-PHART faction: "Come the revolution, you'll have a PHART and like it!"

Save a little money and just change the name of car 1 to 2.

"When you ride PHART you're always in #2"

Brilliant; from the best info we have the cost per ride is approx. $68 per trip. This is based on a 20 year life cycle cost. You can log on commissionersam.com with his post about two months ago and PDOT's own abbreviated life cycle cost helps substantuaate this number. Note that PDOT doesn't include land costs in those figures, plus a few other important costs.

We assumed the 4000 maximum trips per day that PDOT calculates, and this maximum is after full build out of SoWhat and assuming 10,000 bio-tech jobs. There hasn't been one bio-tech job created. So it seems inconceivable that the 4000 trip max. can be achieved because the basis for PHART was that the job connections were needed between PillHill and SoWhat .

But if we let the PHART become a tourist facility, maybe so. It is nice we built a tourist facility while calling it "the linch pin" for jobs.

Entries for PHART suppository names: Scratch and Sniff.

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