Given the chance to play God, here's a first draft of my levels of damnation:
Madonna, Laker fans
Circle I Limbo
Barry Bonds
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
Karen Minnis
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
Paid signature gatherers, Lars Larson
Circle IV Rolling Weights
Telemarketers, Erik Sten, Portland Planning Bureau
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Paul Allen
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
OHSU
Circle VII Burning Sands
Ann Coulter, Condo developers, Dick Cheney
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Neil Goldschmidt
Circle IX Frozen in Ice