My work as a rapper is through. I delivered all 10 of my rap numbers as scheduled tonight -- although I confess to relying on cue cards for a good part of it. I have a new respect for artists who come out and do all new material -- especially if you just wrote it two days ago, it's not that easy to keep it memorized. Plus, there's a big difference between reciting it in your underwear in front of a computer and doing it in costume in front of a live crowd.

Special thanks to the artists whose work I, shall we say, made fair use of. You can't go wrong with tracks like these:

No Pain No Gain - Buckshot LaFonque with Uptown (and Albert Collins)
Papa Was a Rollin' Stone - The Temptations with the Funk Brothers
Express Yourself - Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band
Some CowFonque (More Tea, Vicar?) - Buckshot LaFonque
The Horse - Cliff Nobles & Company
Farewell to Tarwathie - Judy Collins with humpback whales
Super Freak - Rick James
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
Give Up the Funk - Parliament
Bust a Move - Young MC

Having hacked these to pieces, I think I'm going to play them for myself in their beautiful original versions now, and call it a good night.

UPDATE, 4/30, 3:43 am: Photo here.