It's NBA draft day, and I could hurt my jaw yawning about it. Tonight's the night when young basketball stars who want to become professionals are selected by various pro teams. This year, a kid who just barely finished high school will be the no. 1 pick. Which bad team he will play for is definitely less interesting than the fact that Nike's already agreed to pay him $90 million (yes, that's U.S. dollars) to endorse its shoes. Of course, the kid's no stranger to money -- he already got his high school team disqualified for the season by accepting a Humvee in exchange for his talents.

The draftees get younger and younger. At the rate they're going, in a few years, the teams will be paying millions for frozen embryos.

A special sideshow to the circus is the participation by Portland's own Trail Blazers team. The former general manager, Bob Whitsitt, recently announced his resignation after setting new standards of arrogance and stupidity that have alienated the once-faithful fans. But there's no new person to replace him as GM yet because the fellow the Blazers reportedly offered the job to has decided -- get this -- he would rather be the scouting director of the New Jersey Nets than the GM of the "Jail Blazers."

As they say when one of the players gets hit in the groin, oooooh, that's gotta hurt.

So Whitsitt will run the draft, but this time, they swear he's turning over a new leaf. No more "head cases" with off-court problems. Only men of character need apply.

At least, players who haven't done hard time by the age of 18.