1221 SW 4th

Up like a rosebud, high on the vine

Another glowing tribute for me on the front page of the paper today. The whole country is debating what my legacy will be; it's good to see the media finally catching on to the big story of the year. Any day now, the phone will ring and it will be The New York Times.

The poor dears, they left so much out, though. They said nothing about my brilliant plan to put toll booths on the Willamette River bridges, or the way I fought so hard for Homer, and his shining condo towers and aerial tram that Portlanders love so dearly. Not a word about the Convention Center expansion, which is some of the smartest public money I ever spent. They forgot to give me my due for the streetcar -- the revolutionary mass transit that's slower than walking. And what about all those years I carried water around here for Neil, the most powerful visionary of them all?

They did say one thing that tickled me no end. That sweetie Bridget Barton is quoted as saying that I turned Portland into "a quasi-New York-style, urban center." Oooh, Bridget, bless your little Lake Oswego, BMW-driving heart. That kind of talk gets me hotter than a Women's Half-Yearly Sale.

Ah me, it's not the last time they'll be writing me up. They don't realize that I have no intention of retiring. Already I'm making plans to sit with that nice Diana G. on the Art Committee for the South Waterfront. You know those $1 million totem poles we bought for Jameson Square in the Pearl? I'm going to make sure we don't make the same mistake again. Those colors are all wrong. And when you put a credit card in the Euro parking machines down there, they're going to play "It's a Small World After All."