It can happen here
Republican Party officials today insisted that Portland has a legitimate shot at hosting the 2008 Republican Natonal Convention. The announcement yesterday that the city was on a list of locations invited to bid for the event had been greeted with widespread expressions of skepticism.
In a conference call from his undisclosed location, Vice President Cheney told reporters this morning: "I think things have gotten so bad inside Portland, from the standpoint of the Portlandic people, my belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.... I think it will go relatively quickly,... (in) weeks rather than months." He predicted that the usual left-wing demonstrators in town would not "put up such a struggle" and that even "significant elements of the Red and Black Cafe... are likely to step aside."
In response to questions, Cheney said he was going to have just one beer with lunch today before practicing with the codes for launching the nation's nuclear weapons.
Comments (19)
I'd rather have Dick Cheney drunk near the firing switch, rather than Al Gore (with or without beard), Hillary or Janet Reno.
I wouldn't let them watch the goldfish bowl while I was on vacation. Al Gore couldn't find the Gaza strip on a map.
Posted by brother gary | February 16, 2006 4:26 AM
I cannot help but think that Sebastian Telfair's subtle homage to the VP yesterday might improve our chances.
Posted by Dave J. | February 16, 2006 8:57 AM
Let me be the first to propose a little duck hunting excursion to Sauvies for the VP with his buddies, Congressmen Smith and Walden. Blue Oregon might even consider sponsoring the beer garden.
Posted by geno | February 16, 2006 9:30 AM
I cringe at the thought of Portland's ignorantgentsia taunting the delegates as they arrive and depart the convention center.
Here's a great example of where quick access to an adjoining hotel would provide a secure corridor for the conventioneers to avoid being hit by tomatoes (or worse).
IF WE BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME.
Honestly, if New York City can host a Republican convention, why not Little Beirut?
Posted by Alice | February 16, 2006 9:44 AM
I am definitely all for it. It would be one of the most hilarious events of all time. The unintentional self-parody of every Republican convention would only be magnified—and think of the financial boost for Mary's Club, the gay bars and all the "lingerie modelling" places on 82nd!
Posted by Libertas | February 16, 2006 9:51 AM
The GOP won't come here. There is no electoral gains to be had.
They are inviting Portland as a publicity stunt, but they'll choose a blue or more likely near-blue state. So, for instance, Philadelphia or Pittsburgh. If they are worried about losing a red state, Tampa, Phoenix. San Antone would let them appeal to Hispanics.
Also, they'll want to take one more stab at 9/11. So again, I'd predict somewhere like Philly.
Posted by paul | February 16, 2006 9:54 AM
Is your real point that Democratic, liberal, progressive, policies and politics is taking a body slam in the last six months in Portland? How much longer can it all stagger on? Unfortunately for some time to come. Seriously, there is another way, but it will take a step back and an open mind. Are there center left folks who are fed up with the present course our politcal leaders are taking us on? Keep an open mind and take a look at what ideas the center right has to offer. What ideas you might say.
1. Reform the Portland Development Commission back to its original mission: redeveloping areas with actual blight. Now it has turned into an over expanded way for city officials to direct and control growth, which rewards a chosen few developers with the contacts in city hall. Any takers on the center left?
2. Affordable housing/shelter(ie apartments). The second story program would look to rehabilitate second story space currently unused or under used by redirecting tax abatements for condo towers(ie the Pearl, South Wat. Front) which are justified for affordable housing by our leaders, toward rehabilitation of existing living space spread throughout the city among many property owners. Look around the city, how many boarded up windows do you see on second stories and above which could be remodled to either provide new apartments or upgrade beyond flop house grade? Less glamorous for sure, but removes blight and revitalizes neighborhoods in an equitable manner. Any takers from the center left?
3. Give local control to neiborhoods through area specific zoning controled by that specific community. When people make the biggest investment of their lives(their house), they have invested in the character of that neiborhood; its density, lot sizes, hight and size of houses. Right now there is a bias to density(I call it cram down) where city planners who want higher density tend to override the property owners who have been there and will continue to be there for outside developers because it fits with the planners' desire for greater density. Would not true local control invigerate local participation instead of the widening apathy we now are starting to see. Any takers on the center left?
4. Have Portland city leaders make traffic congestion a much higher priority than is currently the case. Traffic congestion is real and it effects our economy and quality of life for the above 90% of people who drive cars. Any takers on the center left?
Well, there you have it, a short course of possible center right ideas. Worthy of discussion? Any takers on the center left? Only time will tell.
Posted by jimevans | February 16, 2006 9:55 AM
Wow, Jim! I mean...wow.
Posted by Libertas | February 16, 2006 9:57 AM
Gordon Smith will need the boost for his reelection.
But, really, let's face it... almost every single large city in America, including Salt Lake City, is blue. When you look at the national county map instead of the state map, you'll see these little blue dots in a sea of red.
If the GOP really wanted to support their constituents, they would hold their convention in Watertown, South Dakota. Realistically, that's not practical, so they could do it in Provo, Utah.
Posted by Sid | February 16, 2006 10:58 AM
Such a tactic does make some sense. If the RNC thinks that Oregon is in danger of being lost to the left (a debatable proposition, I think) then bringing the convention here makes some sense. Keeping the Rs fired up in Oregon can be nothing but good for the party as a whole. If they can keep the Oregon faithful feeling as if they are part of the greater movement, then there's a possibility that they'll field some reasonable candidates for office and increase the success of the party as a whole, and not just in Oregon.
Posted by Jud | February 16, 2006 11:16 AM
Thanks for the link, JB. If the Republicans come to town (not gonna happen), they'll bring whole new meaning to the term "painting the town red."
Yeah, that was an awful gag.
Posted by Brandon | February 16, 2006 12:01 PM
Yo, Jim... Interesting concepts. A friend of mine has suggested that each neighborhood be allocated a portion of the city budget based upon the tax revenue stream generated from within each neighborhood. This portion of the budget would be for neighbors within each neighborhood to decide how those funds are to be expended on public projects within their neighborhood. They could also "bank" allocations in order to undertake more costly projects which the city, in its entirety, is resistant to funding.
I think doing so would certainly motivate greater involvement at the neighborhood level. Let the people at the closest level of governance have control over the funds, and make their choices and compromises on how that is best done.
As an old leftie whose politics have slipped their moorings, and gone maverick, I wholeheartedly support the muzzling of plutocrats pimping their pet projects through paid-for provincial puppet politicians. PDC should be entirely restructured and redirected.
As for the RNC, I really don't care. I did love the Jack's "report from Dick Cheney", though.
(I also loved Dave Letterman's, "This just in...Dick and Lynn Cheney have been reported knocking over a Mini-Mart.")
Posted by godfry | February 16, 2006 12:45 PM
If this town gets its Little Beirut moniker because it actually vocally/visually opposes inept clowns like Cheney and Bush, so be it. Hey America, don't think we didn't tell you so.
Posted by TK | February 16, 2006 2:41 PM
Good point, TK. Obviously, we much prefer our homegrown inept clowns.
Posted by Jay | February 16, 2006 4:09 PM
We just have our own brand of inept clowns, that's all
Posted by TK | February 16, 2006 5:08 PM
btw Chicago turned the GOP down today.
Posted by myrln | February 16, 2006 8:41 PM
Was that just the living that rejected the RFP in Chicago, or did the dead get a say so too?
Posted by Alice | February 17, 2006 9:20 PM
Great, that's all we need. Another mega-convention that teases Portland and then turns away due to "lack of convention space". That will get Portland's establishment to "find"
a few hundred million dollars for yet another convention center expansion, and mega-hotel.
Maybe Serena Walsh Construction will be on the City Council by then (if not still on the County Commission) so she can vote to throw yet more pork dollars to her in-laws' business. Why not?
She's an heiress to the fortune (a fact the so-called "progressives" of this city ignore).
Bob T
Posted by Bob Tiernan | February 18, 2006 1:56 AM
Come on, Wyden makes her look like a pauper.
Posted by Jack Bog | February 18, 2006 1:57 AM