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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on December 31, 2012 3:35 PM. The previous post in this blog was Alert! Alert!. The next post in this blog is In Portlandia, nothing succeeds like failure. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Monday, December 31, 2012

Your new cr-apartment

An alert reader sends along some photos of a new particle board monstrosity instantly blighting the corner of 14th and Pettygrove. We don't know about you, but we'd rather have an old single-story industrial building with a handful of real jobs in it than another hipster warehouse:



But what really gets to the reader is the cheapo-cheapo pavement on the public right of way on the side of the building:

I point you to the "sidewalks" they seem to be getting away with. Asphalt, really? City of Portland, are the codes slipping? Please note, they seemed to have enough dough to do their own walkways in cement, just not the public sidewalks.


This is the perfectly planned Portland. There must be a good explanation. Maybe it's some sort of eco-asphalt. Must be.

Comments (37)

Let me guess - there's no off-street parking for this project?

There are bike racks -- is that what you mean?

Eko* asphalt.

Happy Ney Year, Jack. You'll be writing about a lot of crapartment and developer shenanigans in 2013.

This project in particular is the one you wrote about a while back in this 2009 posting.

Yes, these units are as small as 267 square feet, the largest is a whopping 385 square feet.

Please note hot they must use a fish-eye lens to make the units look livable in the photos.

The asphalt sidewalks seem to be part of the Pettygrove Green Street Vision ...whatever that means.

Perhaps it's pervious pavement.

'Freedom center' ?!

That's downright terrifying.

Wapato Correctional Facility is nicer than the above building. Better art too.

NEXT: FLIP DOWN BALCONIES WITH POP UP TREES.....YOU REMEMBER..... JUST LIKE THE POP-UP BOOKS FROM CHILDHOOD....

WE GOT THE RIGHT DYNAMIC FOR THE NEW FRONTIER

$ 1,050/month for 385 sq. feet?

You'd think for THAT, they would at least use enough letters to spell ECO & HOUSE in English.

Freedom from common sense. The IKEA display spaces are probably better built.

Why all the complaints? This is METRO's vision for ALL of us and is what the region wants as shown by repeatedly electing the same set of green idiots to METRO time after time.

The root cause of all of this is the artificial shortage of land created by METRO's urban growth boundary and their decision to build up instead of out (except for land owned by METRO councillers.).

Thanks
JK

I was curious to see floor plans of the apartments they offer. I was wondering what they could do with 300 sq. feet. I went to their website and couldn’t find any floor plans or pricing. They had a few photos, and some of the supposed upscale hipster clientele that they hope to capture. Ha, and the well dressed, non tattooed, non pierced models depicted don’t exist in Portland. That developer will go broke even before the city sends more money and turns it into low cost housing.

Does the square foot include the fold-down decks as seen in the first pic?

"Eko-haus" -- that's just SO Yuropian, I am charmed.

"Freedom Center" has a nice ring to it.

Just like "Democratic People's Republic of Korea" does.

It really is scary. Maybe the next PDC "live-work" project can be called Arbeit Macht Frei.

Do they come with jackets ?

Seriously? These are lumpy temporary paths. Not sidewalks.

This from a city that initially tried to require Local Choice Produce Market (NW Ninth & Everett) replace its sidewalks because the "squares" were 36" instead of 18". (see the October 2012 NW Examiner for photos).

These are dorm rooms en suite.

Yeah, Harry, it is likely pervious pavement.
[insert joke about the pervs giving one the frost heaves here]

It must mean "freedom" from your parents, until you need rent money for your hovel.

What was in that location?
. . . another good old building there being replaced with the new urban chic?

The prices are an outrage. Twenty years from now these will be looking like East Berliners.

20 years from now they will be condemned, torn down and replaced by something else....hopefully.

Are you kidding? They are totally like East Berlin already.

Is the permeable asphalt made less permeable by using straight edges or forms?

(CR)ASPHALT.

Twenty years from now these will be looking like East Berliners

At what point will the Stasi start laying mines in the Willamette River, and replace the 405 with a massive concrete wall, minefield, and armed border guard towers?

You know, to keep the Clackistanis and the Vantuckies out?

The Russians have a word for this kind of state-sponsored housing "workers housing"... хрущёвка, "krushchyovka".

From the Petty Grove Green Street Vision document regarding color scheme:

"Pick a color scheme that clearly illustrates a concept, Bauhaus industrial or a lighter Socialist worker-housing aesthetic were two ideas put forward."

Wow, so much for the warmth and charm of classic Pacific Northwest design.

P.J. O'Rourke refers to this as "stack-a-prole" architecture.

"Pick a color scheme that clearly illustrates a concept, Bauhaus industrial or a lighter Socialist worker-housing aesthetic were two ideas put forward."

Ha ha. Took me a minute to realize you had to be joking. Had to be.

Is the building shown in the photo finished? If so, what's the shoddy, seemingly useless cladding under all of the windows?

Ah. Five years ago, I described Portland's new aesthetic as making East Berlin look good, and I had innumerable hipsters and Cat Piss Men telling me "Well, so much that YOU know. YOU live in Dallas." Who knew that these dinks liked East Berlin's architecture?

Anyone notice the cutesy names developer Mark Madden is putting on his newest creations? "Miss" for Mississippi Ave., "Martin" for MLK Blvd., "King" for another MLK thing, "Sherm" for one on the corner of SE Sherman near Ladd's Addition, and my favorite- "Glee" for one on NE Glison. Not sure how "Norm " or "The Freedom Center" got their names. Makes me nostalgic for the pretentious address numbers developers were slapping on their creations. But the real embarrassment is the buildings themselves. Poor Portland. Simply loved to death.

Erik H. wrote: You know, to keep the Clackistanis and the Vantuckies out?

As with the primary purpose of the Berlin Wall, the proposed Portland Eko-Wall would first keep the disillusioned Portlanders from leaving.


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