Having wasted everyone's time with his fatally flawed bid to be Portland mayor, the unemployed ex-state legislator is calling together his faithful to talk about future political causes that he might espouse. Holding a real job is, as we all know, out of the question.
Comments (18)
Seems like the perfect spokesman to pick up the mental health issue.
Are there any openings for professional full-contact Parcheesi players?
Maybe the Rose City Rollers could use a punching bag....I wonder how Nutsy would look in a pencil-thin mustache with his hair greased back?
"Jefferson Smith Asking Volunteers What to Do Next" How about advocating for term limits. We need citizen politicians, not career politicians that continually dictate to the people instead of being of the people, by the people and for the people. Correspondingly, wouldn’t be interesting if both Nutsy and Sammyboy applied for the same position. Both have similar qualifications - or lack there of.
The idea that Portland could have, maybe even very nearly did, go from Sam Adams to Jefferson Smith is scary.
Promoting him to mental health advocate would be like putting Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of the cafeteria. He is so shameless, so clueless, so unrepentant.
And why should Jeffy get a real job? In a real job, he wouldn't get far with his incessant "Look at MEEEEEE!" antics. Hell, he wouldn't get far even if he went into Portland journalism.
Or, to quote from the best documentary about Portland ever made, "Hands up: who likes me?"
(later) "I said 'hands up: who likes me?'"
"We heard you the first time."
"Why don't you like me?"
"Because you're a complete bastard."
"I'm being serious, Vyvian."
"So am I. You're a complete bastard, and we all hate you."
(laughing)("I find that rather difficult to believe."
Now here's just hoping that Nutsy doesn't follow along and try to kill himself with laxative pills. Or if he does, I'm not cleaning the mess.
"like putting Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of the cafeteria"? Sally, you rock.
Did you notice what was missing from Jefferson Smith's list of things to do next? Here's how one item should have read:
Do you want to keep this historic grassroots organization together but have me walk away since I misused your idealism and good will to try and seize power as Portland's mayor?
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Hope Larson - A Wrinkle in Time, the Graphic Novel
Rudyard Kipling - Kim
Peter Ames Carlin - Bruce
Fran Cannon Slayton - When the Whistle Blows
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 26
At this date last year: 66
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (18)
Seems like the perfect spokesman to pick up the mental health issue.
Posted by mk | December 21, 2012 10:42 AM
We need a ban on paid public officials.
Elected positions should be part-time, unpaid, except for maybe a small stipend when they are actually "working."
Other government jobs should be reserved for veterans and the disabled.
Posted by Frank the Tank | December 21, 2012 11:34 AM
"Jefferson Smith Asking Volunteers What to Do Next"
How about getting a real job and contributing to the tax base instead of spending it?
I'll leave the more lewd suggestions to others.
Posted by Steve | December 21, 2012 11:41 AM
He could start giving personal defence lessons to women.
Posted by Robert Collins | December 21, 2012 11:47 AM
Are there any openings for professional full-contact Parcheesi players?
Maybe the Rose City Rollers could use a punching bag....I wonder how Nutsy would look in a pencil-thin mustache with his hair greased back?
Posted by Mojo | December 21, 2012 12:36 PM
"Jefferson Smith Asking Volunteers What to Do Next" How about advocating for term limits. We need citizen politicians, not career politicians that continually dictate to the people instead of being of the people, by the people and for the people. Correspondingly, wouldn’t be interesting if both Nutsy and Sammyboy applied for the same position. Both have similar qualifications - or lack there of.
Posted by TR | December 21, 2012 12:54 PM
The idea that Portland could have, maybe even very nearly did, go from Sam Adams to Jefferson Smith is scary.
Promoting him to mental health advocate would be like putting Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of the cafeteria. He is so shameless, so clueless, so unrepentant.
He should be ignored.
Posted by sally | December 21, 2012 1:56 PM
And why should Jeffy get a real job? In a real job, he wouldn't get far with his incessant "Look at MEEEEEE!" antics. Hell, he wouldn't get far even if he went into Portland journalism.
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | December 21, 2012 3:34 PM
Or, to quote from the best documentary about Portland ever made, "Hands up: who likes me?"
(later) "I said 'hands up: who likes me?'"
"We heard you the first time."
"Why don't you like me?"
"Because you're a complete bastard."
"I'm being serious, Vyvian."
"So am I. You're a complete bastard, and we all hate you."
(laughing)("I find that rather difficult to believe."
Now here's just hoping that Nutsy doesn't follow along and try to kill himself with laxative pills. Or if he does, I'm not cleaning the mess.
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | December 21, 2012 3:39 PM
What Sally said!
Jeffy should just quit!
Posted by Portland Native | December 21, 2012 7:26 PM
Does this mean his post-election bender is over!
Posted by reader | December 21, 2012 8:01 PM
Sandwich artist.
Eat fresh, Nutsy.
Posted by RJBob | December 21, 2012 8:58 PM
Nutsy should become an evangelist for the CRC, as the plans as they stand are nearly as stupid as he is.
Posted by B.P. Red | December 21, 2012 10:56 PM
I wonder if Mrs. Smith is behind this "what next?" movement.
Posted by reader | December 21, 2012 11:00 PM
Sally's had a great week of posts here. Yazzah!
Posted by Mojo | December 22, 2012 12:02 AM
"like putting Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of the cafeteria"? Sally, you rock.
Did you notice what was missing from Jefferson Smith's list of things to do next? Here's how one item should have read:
Do you want to keep this historic grassroots organization together but have me walk away since I misused your idealism and good will to try and seize power as Portland's mayor?
Posted by Bill McDonald | December 22, 2012 11:33 AM
We could really use a reasonably priced kitty litter cleaning service.
Posted by Mister Tee | December 22, 2012 9:56 PM
I see him as a progressive answer to Glenn Beck, making hyper-earnest, tear-stained bordering-on-crazy talk on MSNBC for an hour a day.
Posted by Downtown Denizen | December 23, 2012 12:35 AM