The City of Portland website should be nominated for comedy awards. It's funny, especially when it isn't trying to be. Here's a good one -- a PowerPoint presentation made to city employees as part of a "wellness" program. It must be about personal finances, because it sure isn't about what city government does with taxpayer funds:
They say the best way to teach is by example. That sure ain't happening in this case.
Comments (11)
Since the city is now "teaching" stuff are they going to provide free meals to help student learn more effectively?
In other words, far too many CoP employees are being told by their parents "Well, now that you have a real job, instead of working for the Mercury, we don't have to keep sending you money to get by, now do we?"
It needs a small addendum, all caps bold, at the end: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD AN EMPLOYEE ATTEMPT TO APPLY THESE SUGGESTIONS OR PHILOSOPHY TO HIS OR HER JOB.
"Outgoing" and "upkeep" are one word, not two.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the author had to apply her little financial wellness program to the streetcar?
This should be a mandatory slide for all transportation project PowerPoints.
Bullet #1: Know the difference between "want" and "need". We all want sexy streetcars. We NEED basic transportation.
Bullet #2: Think of the true cost. Streetcars cost $25 million a mile, plus additional costs in operations and maintenance. You'll have to borrow that money, so through in borrowing costs (interest payments). A bus costs $400,000. You can afford that up front.
Bullet #3: Buy Quality. Say, how's that United Streetcar working out? The one and only Streetcar sits in the yard more often than actually running; United Streetcar is also far behind schedule (in years) with the other promised streetcars. I hear Gillig and New Flyer have an impeccible reputation for deliving on time, on budget, year in and year out, with hundreds of satisifed customers.
Bullet #4: Live within your means. If you can't afford basic service, maybe you shouldn't buy that fancy toy. It's more important to fix your crumbling foundation and roof, than to add the swimming pool and rec room...
The street car passed in front of me yesterday. I was able to count 19 occupants before it traveled swiftly out of view, but I may have missed one or two. Just thought you should know.
I ride the NS streetcar to and from work when I'm not walking (sometimes it's faster). I rarely get the chance to sit down. Since it's so crowded, I never see a fare checker on board. A fare checker would never be able to make his or her way through the streetcar in time to check everyone on board and it looks to me like few are buying tickets. Some waiting at the Central Library stop still seemed to be under the impression that there was a fareless zone. When I told them that was no longer true, they didn't believe me and of course nobody asked them for proof they'd paid, so they were vindicated.
Conversely, I see the streetcars go by bound for the eastside with only a handful of people on board. And let's not even start talking about WES.
Flying home from Boston a few weeks back I heard the elderly woman behind me in the TSA line telling people how progressive Portland was because "all the transit in the metropolitan area was free."
I didn't have the heart to correct her.
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (11)
Since the city is now "teaching" stuff are they going to provide free meals to help student learn more effectively?
Posted by Portland Native | December 3, 2012 10:00 AM
In other words, far too many CoP employees are being told by their parents "Well, now that you have a real job, instead of working for the Mercury, we don't have to keep sending you money to get by, now do we?"
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | December 3, 2012 10:38 AM
It needs a small addendum, all caps bold, at the end: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD AN EMPLOYEE ATTEMPT TO APPLY THESE SUGGESTIONS OR PHILOSOPHY TO HIS OR HER JOB.
"Outgoing" and "upkeep" are one word, not two.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the author had to apply her little financial wellness program to the streetcar?
Posted by sally | December 3, 2012 10:53 AM
For $30, you can have a copy of this presentation with the leaves removed.
Posted by RJBob | December 3, 2012 11:30 AM
This should be a mandatory slide for all transportation project PowerPoints.
Bullet #1: Know the difference between "want" and "need". We all want sexy streetcars. We NEED basic transportation.
Bullet #2: Think of the true cost. Streetcars cost $25 million a mile, plus additional costs in operations and maintenance. You'll have to borrow that money, so through in borrowing costs (interest payments). A bus costs $400,000. You can afford that up front.
Bullet #3: Buy Quality. Say, how's that United Streetcar working out? The one and only Streetcar sits in the yard more often than actually running; United Streetcar is also far behind schedule (in years) with the other promised streetcars. I hear Gillig and New Flyer have an impeccible reputation for deliving on time, on budget, year in and year out, with hundreds of satisifed customers.
Bullet #4: Live within your means. If you can't afford basic service, maybe you shouldn't buy that fancy toy. It's more important to fix your crumbling foundation and roof, than to add the swimming pool and rec room...
Posted by Erik H. | December 3, 2012 12:11 PM
Looks like a prsentation for financial illiterates. Is that what the City is hiring these days?
Posted by Dave A. | December 3, 2012 1:06 PM
The irony is painful.
Posted by canucken | December 3, 2012 2:44 PM
Erik,
The street car passed in front of me yesterday. I was able to count 19 occupants before it traveled swiftly out of view, but I may have missed one or two. Just thought you should know.
Posted by Ted | December 3, 2012 2:59 PM
I ride the NS streetcar to and from work when I'm not walking (sometimes it's faster). I rarely get the chance to sit down. Since it's so crowded, I never see a fare checker on board. A fare checker would never be able to make his or her way through the streetcar in time to check everyone on board and it looks to me like few are buying tickets. Some waiting at the Central Library stop still seemed to be under the impression that there was a fareless zone. When I told them that was no longer true, they didn't believe me and of course nobody asked them for proof they'd paid, so they were vindicated.
Conversely, I see the streetcars go by bound for the eastside with only a handful of people on board. And let's not even start talking about WES.
Posted by NW Portlander | December 3, 2012 3:35 PM
I was trying to laugh but it sounded more like a cry.
Posted by JO | December 3, 2012 5:43 PM
Flying home from Boston a few weeks back I heard the elderly woman behind me in the TSA line telling people how progressive Portland was because "all the transit in the metropolitan area was free."
I didn't have the heart to correct her.
Posted by Old Zeb | December 3, 2012 7:43 PM