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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Caption contest

We'll get you started: "What am I going to do when he's around the house all the time?"

Comments (55)

Charlie's got my vote!

"How many 'worst nights of my life' does this guy have?"

Don't get him angry, don't get him angry, don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry . . .

"Did I remember to give him his medication?"

"I really need to start eating Aptivia..."


So far so good, but I've seen these humor things go really bad, so...

Here's some good advice: You have to pick the right component to make fun of, and that's the sofa flipping and, of course, the politician. Jokes about a woman with blood streaming down her face or getting stitches because a 6'4" man just punched her are not the way to go.

Here are some examples of the humor targets in other stories that were seemingly way too ugly for comedy.

Jon Bonet Ramsey story - We made fun of the Boulder Police Department.
The murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Simpson: We made fun of the lawyers, Judge Ito, and of course...O.J.
The Michael Jackson child abuse stuff: We made fun of Michael Jackson. We didn't make fun of the kids. That would have been sick.

An example where the pros got it wrong (not me, thank God) was when they went after the security guard in the Olympic Park bombing in Georgia. Yes, they were basing the jokes on official news reports, but I waited. I never ridiculed the security guard - since dead - because I wasn't sure he did it. Turns out he was a hero, and they ruined his life. That was tragic.

I never made fun of the Ramseys, because I wasn't sure they had anything to do with the Jon Bonet murder. I still don't believe they were involved, but even if you don't know, do you realize how far down you've sunk if you're making jokes about a murdered kid's parents implying they did it?

I would strongly urge people in this case to avoid jokes about women getting beaten bloodied. It's just not funny. The sofa flipping? That's where the humor is.

"Why couldn't he have brought the puppy dog to hide behind, and given me the day off?"

"Every six months, change the smoke detector batteries, check. Flip the mattress, well, maybe not."

"Is it true you can fool a lie detector?"

"Calgon - take me away."

"They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning, No-one you see, is smarter than he,"

Good points Bill...Like this?

“Maybe he can go into the furniture restoration business. Become a couch flipper.”

“At least I’m driving us home.”

“Why can’t I get that song out of my head? Lollipop, Lollipop....”

“Wait till I get you home. I know I won’t be one sleeping on the couch.”

You're way too white to claim racism. Sam already used the gay card. Remember....more bike lanes, more steet cars, more bike lanes, more street cars.

"Ooh, look dear! A Hot Skwash centerpiece!"

"Maybe it's time to call that divorce lawyer..."

"I never should have dumped Erik Sten."

Jefferson Smith's favorite video game.

Jefferson Smith's favorite reporter.

Jefferson Smith's favorite show as a kid.

Interesting how out of date his wikipedia page is.

What a softball interview.

Jefferson Smith's favorite coffee.

"Why do I feel like I'm stuck in an episode of 'The Good Wife'?"

Jefferson Smith's favorite snack food.

And the official candy of the Jefferson Smith campaign.

Thank God I'm driving home.

Shut up or I'll "bop" you one and flip over this couch.

“Why couldn’t he have just sold weed and snorted coke? Damn, he’d be president right now”?

"I should have listened to my mother."

"Jody Stahancyk says to wait until after the election. Not sure I can wait that long!"

"If I was running for Mayor instead of you, you knucklehead, I'd be up 20 points on that con man from Vancouver."


"Maybe I should focus on the positive. At least that idiot Torrid Joe will stop calling."

Maybe the best caption is the one Jack put there.

"Yep, it definitely was a smart move to keep up my bus driver's license. Maybe I can still get that kindergarten route in January."

I have my dad on my shoulder to keep me focused.

"Great, and when he's done lying about the sofa, he'll be back home all day, lying on the sofa."

"ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. I get it; Couch flipping!

I thought it was cow tipping."

"I'd like to Bopp him in the face about now..."

"Yeah, I heard the, I heard the, I heard the question."

"Stutters, no real-life presence, and only able to connect to people via television...damn, I married Max Headroom!"

"You told me if I tagged along I'd get to meet Carl Click. Where's Carl Click?"

"What would Tyler Durden do in this situation?"

Is he drinking water out of a vase, or did he have an ice cream sundae?

"Oh no, when you look into his ear from this angle, you can actually see the snakes in his head."

"Gosh, you really ARE a douchebag."

I was always too distracted by his odd behavior to notice, but Jefferson sure does have a lot of nose hair.

Why did I marry this bozo?

"Maybe I should tell him I have a concealed hand gun license"

Always thought when I sobered up that it would be okay. I was wrong, where's the gin.

Make it good - the PFFA and PPA do NOT like to be tied to a loser.

"This must be what it feels like to get punched in the nuts."

"Every day he reminds me more and more of a can of Spam. Maybe one day I could just feed him to the cat."

"*That* was the worst night of your life? You ain't seen nothing yet!"

"First Bluto, then Ralph Cramden, he's so talented!"

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