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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on October 3, 2012 10:47 AM. The previous post in this blog was The liberal case against the Portland head tax. The next post in this blog is Here's lookin' up your records. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Clippings

Caption contest

We'll get you started: "What am I going to do when he's around the house all the time?"

Posted at 10:47 AM | Permalink

Comments (55)

Charlie's got my vote!

Posted by Michael Pingree | October 3, 2012 11:02 AM

"How many 'worst nights of my life' does this guy have?"

Posted by Garage Wine | October 3, 2012 11:02 AM

Don't get him angry, don't get him angry, don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry,don't get him angry . . .

Posted by Steve | October 3, 2012 11:10 AM

"Did I remember to give him his medication?"

Posted by everyone knew her as nancy | October 3, 2012 11:17 AM

"I really need to start eating Aptivia..."

Posted by Jim Walker | October 3, 2012 11:31 AM

Really?!?

Posted by Mike (one of the many) | October 3, 2012 11:32 AM

So far so good, but I've seen these humor things go really bad, so...

Here's some good advice: You have to pick the right component to make fun of, and that's the sofa flipping and, of course, the politician. Jokes about a woman with blood streaming down her face or getting stitches because a 6'4" man just punched her are not the way to go.

Here are some examples of the humor targets in other stories that were seemingly way too ugly for comedy.

Jon Bonet Ramsey story - We made fun of the Boulder Police Department.
The murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Simpson: We made fun of the lawyers, Judge Ito, and of course...O.J.
The Michael Jackson child abuse stuff: We made fun of Michael Jackson. We didn't make fun of the kids. That would have been sick.

An example where the pros got it wrong (not me, thank God) was when they went after the security guard in the Olympic Park bombing in Georgia. Yes, they were basing the jokes on official news reports, but I waited. I never ridiculed the security guard - since dead - because I wasn't sure he did it. Turns out he was a hero, and they ruined his life. That was tragic.

I never made fun of the Ramseys, because I wasn't sure they had anything to do with the Jon Bonet murder. I still don't believe they were involved, but even if you don't know, do you realize how far down you've sunk if you're making jokes about a murdered kid's parents implying they did it?

I would strongly urge people in this case to avoid jokes about women getting beaten bloodied. It's just not funny. The sofa flipping? That's where the humor is.

Posted by Bill McDonald | October 3, 2012 11:34 AM

"Why couldn't he have brought the puppy dog to hide behind, and given me the day off?"

Posted by Bill McDonald | October 3, 2012 11:43 AM

"Every six months, change the smoke detector batteries, check. Flip the mattress, well, maybe not."

Posted by Newleaf | October 3, 2012 11:52 AM

"Is it true you can fool a lie detector?"

Posted by Jack Bog | October 3, 2012 11:55 AM

"Calgon - take me away."

Posted by dg | October 3, 2012 12:01 PM

"They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning, No-one you see, is smarter than he,"

Posted by Tom | October 3, 2012 12:06 PM

Good points Bill...Like this?

“Maybe he can go into the furniture restoration business. Become a couch flipper.”

“At least I’m driving us home.”

“Why can’t I get that song out of my head? Lollipop, Lollipop....”

“Wait till I get you home. I know I won’t be one sleeping on the couch.”

Posted by Gil Slater | October 3, 2012 12:15 PM

You're way too white to claim racism. Sam already used the gay card. Remember....more bike lanes, more steet cars, more bike lanes, more street cars.

Posted by gibby | October 3, 2012 12:18 PM

"Ooh, look dear! A Hot Skwash centerpiece!"

Posted by reader | October 3, 2012 12:19 PM

"Maybe it's time to call that divorce lawyer..."

Posted by Dave A. | October 3, 2012 12:24 PM

"I never should have dumped Erik Sten."

Posted by Jack Bog | October 3, 2012 12:33 PM

Jefferson Smith's favorite video game.

Posted by Garage Wine | October 3, 2012 12:44 PM

Jefferson Smith's favorite reporter.

Posted by Garage Wine | October 3, 2012 12:45 PM

Jefferson Smith's favorite show as a kid.

Posted by Garage Wine | October 3, 2012 12:49 PM

Interesting how out of date his wikipedia page is.

What a softball interview.

Posted by CM | October 3, 2012 12:50 PM

Jefferson Smith's favorite coffee.

Posted by Garage Wine | October 3, 2012 12:53 PM

"Why do I feel like I'm stuck in an episode of 'The Good Wife'?"

Posted by Bill McDonald | October 3, 2012 12:53 PM

Jefferson Smith's favorite snack food.

And the official candy of the Jefferson Smith campaign.

Posted by Garage Wine | October 3, 2012 12:58 PM

Thank God I'm driving home.

Posted by BobM | October 3, 2012 12:58 PM

Don't forget his favorite candy bar: http://www.hersheys.com/reeses/products/reeses-nutrageous/candy-bar.aspx

Posted by dg | October 3, 2012 12:58 PM

Shut up or I'll "bop" you one and flip over this couch.

Posted by Swede | October 3, 2012 1:02 PM

His favorite soft drink.

Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | October 3, 2012 1:04 PM

“Why couldn’t he have just sold weed and snorted coke? Damn, he’d be president right now”?

Posted by Gil Slater | October 3, 2012 1:05 PM

"I should have listened to my mother."

Posted by m | October 3, 2012 1:18 PM

"Jody Stahancyk says to wait until after the election. Not sure I can wait that long!"

Posted by OregonOak | October 3, 2012 1:26 PM

"If I was running for Mayor instead of you, you knucklehead, I'd be up 20 points on that con man from Vancouver."

http://www.causes.com/profiles/16882737/causes

Posted by Mojo | October 3, 2012 1:27 PM

"Maybe I should focus on the positive. At least that idiot Torrid Joe will stop calling."

Posted by Bill McDonald | October 3, 2012 1:30 PM

Maybe the best caption is the one Jack put there.

Posted by cc | October 3, 2012 1:31 PM

"Yep, it definitely was a smart move to keep up my bus driver's license. Maybe I can still get that kindergarten route in January."

Posted by Mojo | October 3, 2012 1:38 PM

I have my dad on my shoulder to keep me focused.

Posted by TR | October 3, 2012 1:47 PM

"Great, and when he's done lying about the sofa, he'll be back home all day, lying on the sofa."

Posted by Bill McDonald | October 3, 2012 1:53 PM

"ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. I get it; Couch flipping!

I thought it was cow tipping."

Posted by Clayman | October 3, 2012 1:54 PM

"I'd like to Bopp him in the face about now..."

Posted by Skamaniac | October 3, 2012 2:07 PM

"Yeah, I heard the, I heard the, I heard the question."

Posted by d | October 3, 2012 2:18 PM

"Stutters, no real-life presence, and only able to connect to people via television...damn, I married Max Headroom!"

Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | October 3, 2012 2:20 PM

"You told me if I tagged along I'd get to meet Carl Click. Where's Carl Click?"

Posted by RJBob | October 3, 2012 2:36 PM

"What would Tyler Durden do in this situation?"

Posted by Nate Conrad | October 3, 2012 2:46 PM

Is he drinking water out of a vase, or did he have an ice cream sundae?

Posted by Rich | October 3, 2012 3:49 PM

"Oh no, when you look into his ear from this angle, you can actually see the snakes in his head."

Posted by Bill McDonald | October 3, 2012 4:39 PM

"Gosh, you really ARE a douchebag."

Posted by m | October 3, 2012 4:48 PM

I was always too distracted by his odd behavior to notice, but Jefferson sure does have a lot of nose hair.

Posted by Mike (the other one) | October 3, 2012 5:04 PM

Why did I marry this bozo?

Posted by feminist | October 3, 2012 5:05 PM

"Maybe I should tell him I have a concealed hand gun license"

Posted by Richard/s | October 3, 2012 5:40 PM

Always thought when I sobered up that it would be okay. I was wrong, where's the gin.

Posted by Native Oregonian | October 3, 2012 6:10 PM

Make it good - the PFFA and PPA do NOT like to be tied to a loser.

Posted by x-portlander | October 3, 2012 8:12 PM

"This must be what it feels like to get punched in the nuts."

Posted by Pragmatic Portlander | October 3, 2012 8:25 PM

"Every day he reminds me more and more of a can of Spam. Maybe one day I could just feed him to the cat."

Posted by Gaye harris | October 3, 2012 11:26 PM

"*That* was the worst night of your life? You ain't seen nothing yet!"

Posted by Brian | October 4, 2012 9:36 AM

"First Bluto, then Ralph Cramden, he's so talented!"

Posted by Skeezicks | October 4, 2012 11:49 AM

In Vino Veritas

Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007

The Occasional Book

Hope Larson - A Wrinkle in Time, the Graphic Novel
Rudyard Kipling - Kim
Peter Ames Carlin - Bruce
Fran Cannon Slayton - When the Whistle Blows
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt

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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Caption contest

Comments (55)

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In Vino Veritas

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